Saturday, October 31, 2009

My true love & genuine joy.. Angel and Ann..

This is Ann.. She is so adorable.. Kakel misses u so much!!!

Sleep baby sleep.. Tapi mata sebelah terbuka sikit.. Hahahaha..

Angel is just gorgeuos!!!!

My world!!

Kakel LOVES the two of you so much!!! Both of you are my everything! Can't wait to be home.. Angel, be well.. Nenen k.. Baby Ann, cant wait to kiss you chubby cheeks.. Mmmmuuaaahhhh


I might never fail on the scale you did. But it is impossible to live without failing at something. However, you will never truly know yourself until you have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for it is PAINFULLY WON, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

And if there's a lesson I learned from this, it's that people seem to show their strength and power through our weakness. But hey! We may stop this bunch of big bullies! It isn't always an "aha" moment, you know. We just have to work on something.

Then, comes your true friend. But, our friends may demonstrate what's possible. They surely don't just bless you and heap on the millions. The best a friend could is to show you the way and supplies the opportunities. Then it's up to you to set the goals, devise the strategy, and, most important, you have to JUST GO FOR IT.

At such a difficult time, you'll also find advice from a successful individual who claims that times like these are actually among the best for launching dreams. But most valuable, you'll meet some ordinary people who were in some tougher situations. Yeah, a few screwed up; others got sucker punched. But even though their stories are quite different, the outcomes are the same. They all bounced back.

Because they believe that they will! No matter what.. Because they learn to let go, no matter how hard..

In a relationship?

I made quite a commotion yesterday.. I was pretty surprised that people were just so aware of my relationship status. One after another congratulatory remark I received from my dear friends on facebook.

I am afraid that what I assumed is true is not so true after all. Maybe I think that we are in love when in fact she isn't. It takes two to tango right? I will work on my magic. Let us see whether it works. Hahaha. Maybe this is not quite the right time yet. Too early for such a heartwarming declaration. I shall manage on it slowly.

If she is mine, she will be mine. I'll not make my relationship a secret. I am the happiest man to share my bliss and joy with all of you! Keep on making the count. Hahaha..
Hey, thanks, guys! I know what sort of anticipation you have since I have been 23 years unattached. I myself am very curious to see what does the future hold for me. Stay by my side will you till that very moment?


Maybe what I did was wrong. Maybe what I did pierce your heart mercilessly. Maybe I have failed and become your so-unworthy friend. Maybe I have dissappointed you?
Tell me what makes a friend a friend then? What it takes to be your ideal friend? Haven't I given enough?
Why must it only me who took care of your heart greatly while mine was cruelly abandoned? That's when I just have to let it all go and that's also the time when my deed was misjudged unfairly.
But, would it be wrong if what I felt was so true? It may appear to be harsh but when the reality strikes, neither has it treated me nicely too. Little choices were what I was left with. You pushed me till the very edge.
Whatever it is, I meant well. I truly do. If you have anything against me, I would not be too surprised. And I would not be too surprised either if you choose to walk away.
What about the winding path that we have gone through together for so long? So this is how it ends? If that is it, fair enough, that is it then.
Anyway, I am here waiting. A second chance to start all over again is there.
Will keep on watching you from a distance.
I do care about you. But I dont know whether you are too?


I have been surrounded by so many broken soul lately. At this point of time, I guess, maybe I shall walk towards a different direction. Let me focus on my future. Let me spend more time on myself. Let me try to live my life peacefully. It really has been so hectic lately.
It is true that it is impossible to not be affected by our surrounding. So, we would try to solve the problem which is so not ours. In doing that, we don't realize that we have involved too much. Not until one day, when we find that we are too exhausted, when we decided to stop, to find the way out seems to be so impossible.
But, I have made my decision. To breath the fresher air so that my mind is enlightened. I am not leaving the world. But, I want the world to pass me by. And when the time has come, I'll take my ride and join the world again.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Arthur's 19th Birthday is TODAY!!!

A dedication, specially written in conjunction with my pet Babun, pet Rakun's 19th birthday!! Arthur, you are now another year older. Which means you are also another year more matured.
Nothing else a brother could wish other than your happiness and great health! I pray to Lord Almighty to always have His eyes on you. So that you would be guided through.
Arthur, life would be more demanding from now on. Deal with it wisely and thoughtfully. Be a man. Think like a man. Hahaha.. Well, bro, I wish you a blessed birthday! Celebrate with joy and gratefulness! Take care!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Kejar DIA, bang!!!

Let me first introduce the cast for this 30-sec drama. Abang Cashier, Rhodzarina as Ina, Kim something as Kim Kooi.. And finally, Walter as Walter. We were from BBB Tom Yam and later heading to Guardian because Ina needed to get herself smthing.
I guees Ina still has this kind off crush with that Kim Kooi guy. Gurau jak bah, dear. We got to know Kim Kooi as we worked together in a project for Persatuan Pelajar last 2 semesters. Kim Kooi was our group leader. Anyway, hahaha.. Just now, Ina got herself gobsmacked upon seeing him in 7-E.

Act 1, Scene 1
Walter: Ina, ya gerek kitak... (In front of 7-E entrance)
Ina: Sapa?
Walter:... (Walking inside 7-E)

Act 2: Scene 1 (Kim Kooi was pushing the door panel when they bumped into each other. Sikla bumped gilak.. Hehe..)
Kim Kooi: Eh, hye!
Ina: Hi! (Blushing radiantly)

Act 3, Scene 1 (Kim Kooi went out of 7-E and Ina steped inside)
Ina: You make me did that! (Starring at me sharply and 'that' refers to her 'Hi' to Kim Kooi!)
Walter: Do what?

I was checking for the expiry date for the bread that I was about to buy when Ina walked in a ruch towards the exit. Tok time yang paling best. As Ina was dashing out from 7-E, TIBA-TIBA abang CASHIER menyampuk..

Abg Cashier: Bang, kejar dier!!

Lawak!!! He thought that we were in a fight. And he 'wisely' offered me an advice that I should go after her. Hahahaha.. Since Ina's intonation was rather mad, so he assumed that I offended my 'girlfirend' when Ina loudly said that U MAKE ME DID THAT!!! And, nothing can beat the part when the cashier asked me to PUJUK my 'gilfriend.' Pada hal, Ina was in mal2 mode when she got to respond to Kim Kooi's friendly greeting.

Please move on..

I remembered you sending me a sms saying that "u and him are now 1." That was few years back. What a romantic beginning. And I just could not believe my eyes and my ears now that everything is ruined between you and him. I refused to be involved but THE TWO of you have gotten me involved.. Not so much on the guy side. BUT YOU!!
I thought I helped u a lot already throughout your exile. I was mistaken. I didnt even help you at all. I spoiled you instead. You are too not independent already. You keep on bugging me with your problems.. I have toooooooooooooooooooooo much of it already.
Please understand. How do you feel if I keep on dwelling over the same matter again, again, again, again and again? For the first, second, third or perhaps fouth time, maybe it would be fine still.. You might have forgotten yourself how many phone calls, how many sms-es, how much time and how much sweat that we have invested with hope that you would be OK! In fact, the amount spent for the calls and sms-es could be amounted to a 100 or maybe 200 bucks!
The more I help, the more you refused to move on. You have been hanging there for toooooooooooooooooooooooooo long. Let go, please!! I am just so overly tired with this pathetic drama of yours!!! I sympathize you once and no longer now. I see you only as a psycho. Not more or lesser than that!!
When others deny you a helping hand, you simply say that they have forgotten the sacrifices that you have made when they were troubled sometimes ago. You say that they are just so ungrateful. So not appreciative. Now that you need a little help, nobody turns out to be helpful! And that make you even madder! You feel like you are being abandoned.
Hey, WAKE UP! What you have in mind is not true at all. None of it is true. Do not compare what you have done with what your friends refused to do for you at the moment. Look at yourself. You said that tattoo would help. You claimed that clubbing would help too. You were suicidal at one time. You inflicted yourself with physical pain later. You said it would help. You reassured me that you will be fine because the torment you suffer while undergoing each would heal your soul.. I have witnessed no improvement in you at all. Not even a little. In fact, your condition is worsening.
Not only you bug me with your sad stories. You also involved God-knows how many others else. STOP that. AND MOVE ON!!! Your drama is very sensational now. It has become too dramatic.. If you are a celebrity, you would surely make everyday's headline. Your pathetic life is so good for business.
Will you be able to understand how I feel? Will you? I know, you will never be able to put yourself on my shoes. Too big for you perhaps for your little feet. Before it is too late, you better stop doing whatever you are doing now. Make a comeback! Move on. For your own sake. Please, move on!
Dear friend.. I have to take care of myself too. I guess, I want to be no one's caretaker anymore. I better take a good care myself instead.

So me or not so?? Hahaha..

Wanna have fun urself? Try it here haha

Sunday, October 25, 2009

From Mdm Tan Phaik Lee

Hello small-kid who has grown up!
So glad to hear fr u! And even greater that u did well in ur practical. I'm proud of ur achievement. I'm honoured to have shared my experiences and teaching know-how with u. But there's still a lot to learn. Do continue to pick up as u move along this long conveyor belt of life. How did the others fare? Keep me informed, please. Get them to drop me a line. I truly like to hear fr all of u. Currently, I can't access facebook, thus all ur postings have not been followed. I'm an alien at blogging. Probably, u could help me set up one day?
I'll be back in Kuching by the middle of Nov. If u do come by don;t forget to hop in. Any one of u will be most welcomed to be in my company.
Best regards,

Mdm Tan is accessible at

Saturday, October 24, 2009

A-100-Truth About Me

1. last beverage= Kickapoo
2. last phone call = With my brother, Arthur
3. last text message = EPL result, Adrian Sebastian my bro-in-law
4. last song you listened to = I'll be there for you
5. last time you cried = Watching Kung Fu Dunk last few night (sob3)Funnie, huh?

6. dated someone twice = Never
7. been cheated on = Always
8. kissed someone & regretted it = My mun counted? Of course not to be regretted then
9. lost someone special = MY GRANDMA last May.. R.I.P grannie
10. been depressed = Absolutely
11. been drunk and threw up = Never

12. Dark blue
13. Black
14. White

15. Made a new friend = Yeah
16. Fallen out of love = Nope
17. Laughed until you cried = Definitely
18. Met someone who changed you = Not so
19. Found out who your true friends were = Mmmmm...
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Hell yea!
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Hell no!

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = Quite a bunch
24. Do you have any pets = Naa...
25. Do you want to change your name = No.. What for?
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Invited to lots of banquet..
27. What time did you wake up today = Can I just not tell? (1pm..)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Playing cards, watching football match and dining out with friends.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Potential wife-to-be
30. Last time you saw your Mother = 29 September 2009
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = My self-esteem
32. What are you listening to right now =
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Nope
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = My thesis presentation
35. Most visited webpage = FB, my blog and e-news
36. Where you want to be right now = HOME of course!
37. Nicknames = Walt, Ter, Pan, Pang
38. Relationship Status = Ask this qn no more, would you? 2 over decades being single OK!
39. Zodiac sign = Gemini
40. Male or female? = M
41. Elementary? = SUDC No.2
42. Middle school = SMK Bukit Lima, SMK Chung Hua, MRSM Kuching
43. Hair colour = Black
44. Long or short = The latter
46. Height = 170++ cm
47.Do you have a crush on someone = Do I?
48. What do you like about yourself = My family
49. Piercings = No
50. Tattoos = Longing for one
51. Righty or lefty = Righty

52. First surgery = Circumcision? Hahahaha
53. First piercing = Nope
54. First best friend = Alvin Alexander
55. First kiss = Pa nad Ma..
56. First vacation = Kuching? Sarikei?
57. First crush = NEVER!!!!!
59. Eating = Just finished few slices of bread with mashed potatoes
60.Drinking = Nope
61. I'm about to = Rehearse my presentation
62. Listening to =
63. Waiting for = Flight home

64. Want kids? = Sure
65. Get married = The time will tell
66. Career = English teacher, hopefully!

67. Lips or eyes = Eyes..
68. Hugs or kisses = Hugs?
69. Shorter or taller = Shorter. Hehehe
70. Older or Younger = Younger please or at the same age..
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Both sound kinda kewl tho..
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Both are flattering
73. Sensitive or loud = Depend
74. Hook-up or relationship = R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Don't c wat is gd wif either 1

76. Kissed a stranger = other's baby?
77. Drank hard liquor = Yup
78. Lost glasses/contacts = Not wearing one
79. Sex on first date = Owh, noe..
80. Broken someone's heart = Guess so..
81. Had your own heart broken = Overtime..
82. Been arrested = I am good boy..
83. Turned someone down = YEa
84. Cried when someone died = Can u please not remind me to that not unfortunate event?
85. Fallen for a friend? = Maybe

86. Yourself = Most of the times
87. Miracles = A lttle, perhaps more..
88. Love at first sight = Not till it happens
89. Heaven = Unsure
90. Santa Claus = Hahahaha.. No.
91. Kiss on the first date = Definitely maybe..
92. Angels = I have 2 at home!

93. Had more than one bf/gf?= NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
95.Did you sing today? = Later.. haha.. humming to myself..
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = Of course
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = MRSM years.. Wanna blow some punch on few guys'faces..
98. Are you afraid of falling in love with somebody else? = No. Cant wait!
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = Nothing else but the truth..


At times, I am pretty convinced that I have all of these. I am not profiling myself simply. I guess, living for more than 2 decades, I have been able to identify my weaknesses...

  1. Social withdrawal
  2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil
  3. Lack of social skills and self confidence.
  4. Less social conformity
  5. Eating disorders
  6. Inability to accept compliments
  7. An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
  8. Accentuating the negative
  9. Exaggerated concern over what they imagine other people think
  10. Self neglect
  11. Worrying whether you have treated others badly
  12. Reluctance to take on challenges
  13. Reluctance to trust your own opinion
  14. Expect little out of life for yourself

Do you agree with me? Therefore, I concluded that I have a very low self-esteem. For anyone to be psychologically and physicaly healthy on an ongoing basis, there are a set of requirements that must be built into life. If I managed to fulfill these 9 checklist, I may boost up my confidence a little bit higher.. The need.. :

  1. to give and receive attention
  2. to taking care of the mind-body connection
  3. for meaning, purpose and goals
  4. for a connection to something greater than ourselves
  5. for creativity and stimulation
  6. for intimacy and connection
  7. for a sense of control
  8. for status
  9. for a sense of safety and security

I can be easily intimidated if I think others are better off. For instance, until today, I can hardly feel confident with how I look.I believed that I am one of the ugliest creature ever created by God. My hair is just everywhere, not in place. Visible bulges are noticable even from a 100 mile. You see!!!
I am too just another VERY VERY ORDINARY human being who hardly possesses any quality. Even when people are trying to assure me that I am just fine and that nobody is perfect, those assurances are meant to make me to be a little bit more comfortable living this harsh life..
I wonder why people choose beauty over the otherwise? (Stupid qn) Hahaha.. Naahhh.. I cant really blame others coz I myself admire beauty far more than mmmm.. u noe.. Eheh.. We think, I mean I think life is unfair. But, isn't it fair enough that everything is made in pairs?

Financial Turmoil

I am pretty amazed that no one believed that I am totally broke! The moment I mentioned that I am not financially sound, people would just laugh. Only if they knew how much I have at the moment! While I have to be extra meticulous on spending, the temptation, the desire and the wants for a splendid meal is always unbearable. That's basically how I am dragged into this unwanted financial turmoil. I have another 3 weeks before I bid UKM farewell. I really, really, really have to be careful with my extremely limited budget. Sending SOS to my parents would be my last resort. I just have to appropriately distribute my money sufficiently enough for each meal that I go for.


Should all rules be followed? Should all procedures be strictly adhere to? What if in between those regulations, we may find another alternatve that offers less restrictions? Given another option that allow you to work far more effectively but required some rules to be ignored, would it involve moral or ethical concern?
I believed at any circumstance, when we know that one way works better than the other, the authority has to be flexible. They must be able to accept suggestion or at least listen. Those rules and regulations or convention are designed to serve as a guideline! So, each may not be rigidly followed.
With such a well-established set of rules, shouldn't it allow a work to be more efficiently carried out? Sadly and ironically, that is not the case here with our goverment offices. Rules and procedures have been evidently manipulated as an excuse for procrastination. A documnet would not be processed due to this and that and so many others made-up reason in the name of LAW..
I wonder how long does it take for us Malaysian to achieve that FIRST CLASS MENTALITY? My count starts now.. I hope I would be writing for another entry with praises and salutation to our officers soon enough..

Friday, October 23, 2009

How long have I been living?

Note that it is 12.25am now, Oct the 23rd, 2009, Friday.
I was born on a Tuesday and since my birthday(17 June 1986)
I've been living for 23 years
I've been living for 280 months
I've been living for 1,218 weeks
I've been living for 8,528 days
I've been for 204,684 hours
I've been living for 12,281,063 minutes
I've been living for 736,863,807 seconds
I've breathed more than 116,666,760 times!
I've blinked my eyes more than 123,666,760 times!
My heart has beaten more than 859,674,410 times!
Kewl fact isn't it?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hidden Paradise

Welcome to my crib. Let's have a tour around my little sanctuary. . I have been working for this dream house of mine for so many yearss.. Enjoy..This is an exclusive tour... The first of its kind.. Ladies and gentlemen, proudly presenting to you...

The breathtaking, picturesque, scenic view of my little house at night.. Isn't it gorgeous.. My pride!!!!

Private swimming pool.. Nobody could see my bulges here.. Hehehe.. Maybe the houskeeper could.. But not the eyes of the public..

Private gym to keep my body fit.. Pumping up those hidden muscles.. Ahakz..

Soul cleansing.. Favourite bathroom... A step away from my bed...

The place where all the gourmette are prepared.. Fit for the king...

My dining room.. For an excellent dining experience...

I would not spoil your stay here.. I have prepared you a cozy bedroom for a fairy-tale night..

My living room.. For the comfort of all...

My private TV lounge

I miss those days when I have to go to GSC and the sorts for movie.. Guess I dont have to queue up anymore... I have one of the best home theatre sytem that I could ever imagine at home...

And finally, my bedroom... I wanna sleep now.. Taaa...


Shootssss!! It's only a DREAMMM!!! Uaaaaaaaa....

Hahahahahahaha... How I wish that what I claimed as mine (as shown above) are indeed mine!! This is the kind of a place of living that I always dream of. People say, dream big to achieve big thing.
Looking at my little prospect as a future teacher, maybe, this dream house of mine is beyond reach. But who knows, one day, my dream will be realized? I am very much excited to see what will future hold for me.
I bet that as long as I live happily, I would indeed be pleased to sustain my living for another so many years to come. Maybe such a posh house is not what I need the most. But, would not it be great to own such a house?? Hmmmm... (Dreaming and smiling to myself)
I may envy those lush life of the others. It is ok. Well, maybe at this instant, I shall live humbly. I shall appreciate my blessings which come in abundance. It may not be in term of worldly wealth or measured in term of the materials value that I own. Something bigger and much richer than that, that money alone cannot buy and replace.

Marital Institution

This is one of the so many instances that I normally choose not to discuss.

"Pang, udah bisi ka?"
"Bila gik ko mok bergerek?"
"Enda patut nadai orang indu."
"Why aren't you looking for the one now?"

Those are some of the questions that remain unanswered. Why does the lady become so mysterious? Hahaha.. Well, I guess I have discussed enough about this curious case of soulmate hunting in my other entries.

O.K. I know that I am now 23. Old enough to establish a romantic relationship. In fact, it is indeed THE time for me to look for the one. But, it is not as easy as it is for so many others out there. Well, I do not want to be troubled by the SINGLE status that I am known for.

For the mean time, I want to enjoy my single life. I want to stay with my parents as long as I could because I love them so much. So much more than any other thing in this entire galaxy. I have my little brother to be taken care after. I have my nieces to love. Furthermore, I have been spending a huge amount of time outside my home since 2002. Living in the boarding school and studying has taken so much of my precious and priceless time from my family. I want to redeem those quality time with them.

If the lady is destined to be mine, she would be mine. So, I would not rush. I have not fulilled my duty as a son and as a brother or in fact as an uncle quite yet. That is my only commitment so far that I shall carry before I reach 25, maybe? Yea, the earliest I would think about this matter seriously would be perhaps when I am 25 or so.

Let me spend every penny of my first few salaries for my parents, for my family who have been working so hard to support my scholarly years. They deserve it. No amount of gold shall meet their sacrifices.

Not until I believed I have done enough, (I can never do enough) then, I would think of my personal life. Don't worry, my day would come. Even if it wouldn't, sob sob.. hehehe.. would it be too bad? Yea, I know it is a tragic.. hehe.. Well, I will let the time to decide and mould my future. Of course I would not solely depend on the time. I will work for it. Maybe not now.

Perhaps after I get myself a comfortable house and a car? Hahaha.. Good luck, Walter..


I will never sing you my song,
Because you never dance to its rhythm.
I will not read to you my book,
Because you asks me to change the characters within,
I would stop everything.

Mr. & Mrs. Rght

I believed that in everyone of us, we possessed this universal quality. We think that we are right. If it is reasonablly orchestrated, it would be just fine. We do have to stand for ourselves. To uphold what we believe. To be firm with our decision. To live with principles. Yes, we have to in order to protect our pride and image. However, if we think we are always right most of the times, it would hurt our image in one way or another.
I have been breathing for 23 years, living and mingling around with people of this species. The kind that will never give in. The kind that will fight for what they believe is true. No matter how hard the wind of change blows, their sail would hardly be readjusted. They do have problem with fixation.
Guys, you can't be right all the time. To think that you are, please learn the basic! We are imperfect. Remember that.
You might be pondering on what has driven me to talk about this. Days back, I was with this friend of mine. We talked leisurely almost about everything under the sun. The conversation seemed fine not until this sickening attitude of this fellow submerged. So unfortunate that this person's pair of eyes could only see from only too-narrow angle. Believing in something that may soothe the troubled soul that yearned for a moment of peace. Choosing to ignore the fact that to move on, we human have to openly accept people's criticism.
People may appear to be so good in layng our their argument. They may also appear seemingly confident about their judgment. Do they seriously do? If they do, why are they continuously being sidelined? Why do their entire personality change? Yet, they still put the blame on others for whatever they are now facing? Tragically, when others' offer their oipinion, it is seen as an insult. What is worst, they may even think that people are not sympathetic and emphatic enough just because they do not think alike..
When a pair of helping hand is treated as a kind of horrid, shameful jest, how else can others bring you back to life? You denied each. In fact, you are now pretending that you are enjoying your new life; the life that is so not yours. The joy that you indulged in is very temporary. You do all those to divert your attention which simply means, you refused to do anything to improve on your life. You listen only to your blue heart.
You will never change not until you learn to accept others' advice. You will be trapped in the agony that you self-create for a longer time. I can only shake my head from a distance seeing you destructing your own life.
It is time for you to re-construct your life. Hire a worthy engineer and a soulful architect to rebuild your disastrous life. You need a mega plan. You do need. one And for the re-construction to commence, open up your heart and shhhhh... listen... Just learn to listen...

Someone this desperate...

Honestly, my mind at this very moment is at the state of bliss. Somehow or rather, this fellow has tainted my beautiful soul. What I heard and witnessed is so overwhelming that I finally decided to spill it here.
Mate, the moment I walked out from your life, I thought that you would have learnt your lesson as much as I did. When you finally have found your solace in the other, I thought your life would be entirely different. But, I was not afterall greatly convinced that the same tragedy would not replicate itself one day.
My prediction has finally emerged into reality. I now see the institution that you built shattered. If my heart is filled with vengeance, for the heartache that you let me suffer, for the slanders, for the lies that you brilliantly crafted, I would be clapping my hands joyfully. However, thanks God that I am blessed with a good heart.
Mate, you have mistakenly thought that I am not well-informed of what is happening to you at this very moment. I know every single thing! I get to talked to my buddy about this and I was not at all surprised by the drama that I am now witnessing because it is very much similar to ours. Well, it can't be too dissimilar right? Afterall, you are the main actor and you are the Director.
The sms, the e-mails, the lies, the teary phone calls, the puppy eyes, the act, oh gosh! They are just THE SAME. It seems like I am watching a movie; a special tribute to an individual none other that me. The only different is, it is no longer between you and I, but it is between you and the other.
Why the same old tactics? This tickled me somehow! The way you beg for others' sympathy, the way you spread your LIES.. Sigh... You are such a crying baby, aren't you? So the very pathetic of you!! Huhu..
You are trying too hard to garner others' sympathy. Still, you are at the losing end. You would lose every individual that you 'CARE' for if you continuosly behave the way you are now.
Fine that your relationship is wrecked. But one thing that you will NEVER REALISED is the worth of that someone who you turn to whenever you are troubled. You come to him when you feel miserable. But, you turn away when you are 'GAY.' You WILL NEVER REALISED this, mate.If you would, it might be the end of the day...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Super Current Addiction

While "Here In My Heart" by PlusOne still comfortably owns my soft spot, it has now competed with this lovely song entitled "In Love with YOU" by Jacky Cheung and Regina Velazquez. Just in love with this melodic song. So romantic.. If you are into soapy kind of a song, I would highly recommend you this song. Thanks again to Ah Bin for the song. It was actually sang by Raymond Lam in his recent sold-out "Let's Get Wet" Concert. Enjoy the lyrics.

Just a gentle whisper, tell
me that you'd gone
Leaving only memories,
where did we go wrong?
I couldn't find the words then,
so let me say them now
I'm still in love with you

Tell me that you love me,
tell me that you care
Tell me that you need me,
and I'll be there
I'll be there waiting...

I will always love you, I
will always stay true
There's no one who loves you like I do
Come to me now
I will never leave you, I will
stay here with you
Through the good and bad I will stand true
I'm in love with you

Now we're here together,
yesterday has past
Life is just beginning,
close to you at last
And I promise to you, I
will always be there
I give my all to you

Living life without you is
more that I can bear
Hold me close forever,
I'll be there...

I'll be there for you

I will always love you, I
will always stay true
There's no one who loves you like I do
This I promise...
I will never leave you, I will
stand here with you
Though the good and bad I will stand true
Hold me closer...
Our love is forever, holding us together
Nothing in this world can stop us now

Love has found

Love has found a way ...

I'm in love, I'm in love
Yes I'm in love, so in love
I'm so in love with you....

Darjah Yang Amat Mulia BIntang Sarawak

Bentara Bintang Sarawak (BBS) (Order of the Star of Sarawak - Herald) (1988 ribbon)

In my previous entry, I claimed that my father is the recipient for the State Level Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang. Actually, he would be receiving a State Award which is called Darjah Yang Amat Mulia Bintang Sarawak (Bentera Bintang Sarawak). Whatever the award is, you are an unmistaken candidate, Piput.. You deserved every worth of the honour. I love you, Piput...

This is the snippets taken from Unit Perhubungan Awam dan Hal Ehwal Korporat Sarawak Official website which is available at the following address.. regarding Bentara Bintang Sarawak

- Pangkat Ketujuh dalam kumpulan Darjah Utama Yang Amat Mulia Bintang Sarawak.

- Dianugerahkan sebagai menghargai jasa cemerlang mereka yang kurang sedikit taraf kedudukannya daripada mereka yang layak menerima Pangkat Keenam.

His is the seventh one in Kumpulan pertama. Below are the subsequent Kumpulan accordingly to its importannce

- Bentara Bintang Sarawak mempunyai dua lambang.

PingatAnak Pingat

My sister's Birthday!!

Janet Ida a.k.a Burng Empitu!! It's October the 20th again... And it's ur birthday!!!!! Selamat Ngintu Ari Pengada ke-26. Ngarap ka nuan panjai umur, gerai nyamai, chelap lindap serta kaya raja.

I love you a lot, sis! Wishing u all the happiness in the entire universe. You are a sister one of a kind!! Thank you for everything that you have done. Each has made me a better person. Thank you for your thoughful advice, thank you for just everything. Thank you for your financial support too.. hahaha..

I pray that Mother Mary, all Angels and Saints to protect you. May God Almighty continuously spare His mighty eyes on you.

If I am home, I know that you surely would hold a feast to express your gratefulness which as well served as your offering to God.. And if I am home, I could EAT a lot too.. hahahaha.. Maybe I wd buy u a cake...

Hey, that is possible nt year!!! I wd be wrking. And it wd b my time to throw u a birthday party! It would be a surprise birthday party. Cant wait for that time to come!!!

Once again, Happy 26th Birthday, Da!!! I love you!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Between tight budget and maintaining good health

I am trying my very best to resist all the temptations that I find very overwhelming. This unassuming effort seriously requires a hell lots of dicipline. I have been painstakingly failed to avoid savouring to much meat. I eat as if there will be no tomorrow. Soon before I realized this very health-damaging routine, my weight has been multiplied to a very frightening figure. Way too far from my ideal weight.
Too late that I already find my complacent eating whatever I wanted. When I try to balance my diet once again, only God knows how torturing the process could be. I ied to cut down my food intake but to no avail. My stomach is used to the huge portion that I indulged in every meal.
Luckily at this moment, when I hardly have any other motivation, my shrinking wallet definitely help. So ironic, isn't it?
To cut down my budget simply means that I have to monitor my spending scrupulously. Well, I have less than a month left and I must ensure that I am not running out of money on my last day here. So, I am in desperate need to devise a kind of a plan to survive these days before home. I hope I could manage and hold on tight to my current budget.
A twist in lifestyle does not sound good in anyway. But, at times, when you are left with not much choices, if it is the best for you, and when the reality strikes, you just have to do it. Well, of course it begins with you frowning all the way, but soon enough, you would adapt to it. I am still at the early tormenting process of adapting to my 'new' lifestyle. Pray that I would succeed ya..

Aba, I am sooooooooo proud of you..

I received a phone call from my piput at 10am. It happened to be a wake-up call too. I was still comfortably lying on my bed.. I wondered why did he call. All these while, he normally calls me in the evening at around 7.30pm which is on daily basis.. I naughtily thought that he might have banked-in a generous amount of money into my account. Hahaha.. But, the news that he spilled earlier this morning was greater!!!
Aba has made it to the list of State Level Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang in conjunction with TYT's birthday. He mentioned the date which I have forgotten. He told me that he is the only Iban from his department receiving that honourary award! The other two are his Chinese colleagues.
Aba, I am indeed happy for you! You have been working so hard for the past 3 decades. You truly deserved this award. I have witnessed it all. You work for extra hours. You are the problem-solver. Given the post of Pembantu Tadbir, you have done a lot for Rejang Port Authority. You do your job just as well! Never once I heard you complained about your work. Maybe an instance or two. But, you grumbled because you wanted a task to be completed well...
Thank you for sharing the joy, Piput. I am the proudest son in the world today and forever!
Dear Lord, thank you for the abundant blessing!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Traditional remedy

A dear friend went to my room at around 1.30 a.m. He said that he felt uncomfortable and needed my help. He caused me no trouble at all because I was still wide awake. Even if I have fallen asleep, I would not mind to offer a helping hand. Anyway, he wanted me to scratch his back with a ceramic bowl to let the skin breath efficiently. After applying a generous amount of aloe vera gel, I began scratching his neck, later his shoulder and finally his back.
The scratching resulted in his skin becoming bloody red. I guess he has to endure some amount of pain in the process. His face could not lie. Hehehe.. No pain, no gain.. Anyhow, as long as he feels better, that matters! Have you ever wondered that we always have to undergo a period of hardship for something better? In other words, bukan susah nak susah and bukan senang nak senang. Interesting right?
Anyway, when he asked me for the first time sometimes ago, he told me that this traditional method is common among Chinese and is proven effective as well. Perhaps, I shall try it myself and witness the reuslt on my own. I don't doubt and belittle this method anyway.
Actually, I feel feverish myself. Not sure whether it is caused by the rapidly changing whether or what. Dont feel that good. I must sweat it out. Otherwise, I wd be sick!

I hate study week

Could afford to only accompany and send my dear friend to the airport. Watching them taking off is not easy because deep inside, I wanted to go home myself SO DAMN BADLY!!! Watching flight schedule en route to Sibu but not boarding on the flight makes me feel even worst..

This is my reason for hating study week. Maybe only a quater left in UKM. I am one of them. The rest are home by now.

Brotherly conversation

I received a sms from my brother Arthur at 8pm. He said that he wanted to go home. Homesick! Dear, Atur.. Go home then. It costs you only RM80 for return tikcet (Kch-Sbw-Kch). It takes only 8 hours to reach Sibu. If I were you, I would take the next bus home.
Seconds later, he rang my phone. He dropped it before I managed to answer. Hmmm.. My credit was insufficient. Luckily, I was in Bangi and I may get my credit reloaded at 7-11. Soon after that, I called him.
He sounded not really good at the other side. What has gotten into him? I was very curious. He admitted that he can never be more homesick than he is now. So, I advised him to get himself a bus ticket. Money isn't an issue. He has my full back-up. Not that I have lots of money. But, I may help him.
Our conversation shifted from one topic to another. It was a kind of a deep brotherly talk that we have. It was rare I know. Basically because the two of us are of two paraoxical personalities. Apart from our great passion for magnificent food and splendid movies and our genuine affection towards our nieces, we hardly share any other things in common. Maybe 1 or 2 of his songs or a bit here and there. But generally, we are just different in lots of ways. But, hey, my BROTHER is a good guy, ok!
Atur, whatever it is, we are brothers, ok. Nothing wd ever come in between. Even if there is any, nothing would change the fact that I am your elder brother and you are my younger brother. Take care, bro! You know I care about you a hell lots!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Something for Faculty of Education to ponder..

I was indeed delighted by the invitation to attend Majlis Anugerah Dekan that prided itself in "MERAIKAN PELAJAR YANG MENERIMA ANUGERAH DEKAN" which is clearly stated on its tentative programme. It was said to begin at 12 pm, at Blik Bankuasi, Aras 2, Bangunan Canselori, UKM. I was pretty much convinced that this would be a grand event..
But, at the exact same time, I have a tutorial on Disourse and Pragmatics. Leaving the tutorial wouldn't be wise though. Let me think of something. Since I was so eager to come, I talked to Ash about it. Then, Ash and I tried to reshcedule our tutorial slot for Discourse and Pragmatics with Prof. Koo which we managed to, so that we could attend this award ceremony!
There I was, in front of Bilik Bankuasi. "Hmmm... Where are the rest?" 15 to 12pm. Uhuh.. "There they are." We were fortunate that we got ourselves a table. Looking at the place and the number of incresing guests, I wonder whether the tables are sufficient.
Shall I not mention what happen in between but straight to the point? Alright. Here we go.
Can u imagine, a room no way bigger than our lecture hall, (our lecture hall is way too big still to be compared to this bedroom-sized BANQUET HALL) is expected to accommodate a pool of guest more than 200?
Remember, this is an event to celebrate the deserving one. Let me quote again. "MERAIKAN PELAJAR YANG MENERIMA ANUGERAH DEKAN."And yet, those people who were being DIRAIKAN have no place to sit!!! Ok, that was not too bad, MAYBE! Shouldnt we be thankful that we are diraikan?? Furrrrlleeassseeee...
What about attending an event in which you are DIRAIKAN but you are about to leave that event with an empty, growling stomach? Ok, fine! Maybe tat is not too bad as well. Being thankful as we should, right?
Did I mention how long do we have to wait for the event to begin? The Dean made her appearance not untul 15 minutes before 1pm.. Glancing though the programme, she ought to be there at 12.10pm!
You see aa.. The waiting, the insufficient food, and the SPACIOUS venue (I meant it sarcastically OKAY!). Unexpectedly later, I was asked to reararrange the chair and put them back in place by Puan Gugu.. (Hehe... not the real name). Grrrrrrrrrrrr... I was the guest! yang DIRAIKAN, ok! If not for my respect for this helpful lady, I would have exploded..
Is that our FPEND standard?
Anyway, shall I extend my heartiest congratulations to those who have made it. We have another two semesters to go. Let's remain in the list for another 2 semesters and I do pray that in the next Dean's list, it shall witness the 25 of us B.Ed TESL Cohort 3, UKM-IPBL, all of us to be listed! We could do this! All the best for your final everyone!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


This entry was personally written back in December the 2nd, 2008. I think it is a good piece that I love to share again with my reader..
Am offering u wat u may not c.. Perhaps my perspective isn’t wide enough to come up with these re-representation of life.. Just a sharing anyway. Hav fun pondering over some humble thoughts of mine..
Feeling like u r an outcast?? Have you ever asked yourself why are you being treated in such a way? Be reflective a bit.. That’s it. It is actually how u wanted others to treat u.. If people are drifting away from you, don’t be too quick to blame them. It could be YOU who actually drifted yourself away from them.
Do not count your blessing by the number of friends you have made but by the number of enemy, the hatred and anger u have reduced or minimized.
Don’t count your joy based on the times u laugh but by hw often have you make others’ life a meaningful one.
Don’t value your grief by the amounts of tears that u have shed, but by the number of hearts that you have torn apart..
The pursuit of happiness… maybe not an easy task after all.. However, ur joy would be doubled when u r able to make others’ eyes sparkle…. Trust me.. No matter how bad u feel, the moment u make one’s life better, its healing power would be undeniably miraculous..
Dont b too harsh to yourself.. Have a very open mind and heart.. U wd be promised a bountiful harvest.. Isnt life wonderful??? There is more to everything that meets the eye.. Open ur eyes wide.. Then u would see.. I hope I wdnt be blinded by my ignorance as well.. Best wishes…