2012

Are we really approaching the end of the world? Are we going to witness the destruction of mankind? But, I do feel like I am going to live for another 80 years.. And, 2072, see you...

Where are you?

Where were you when I needed you to be my pillar of strength?? You do know what happen! I made it obvious through my wall on FB. You couldn't have missed it. I didn't expect much though. One short, simple sms or maybe a one-second call would mean the world to me. I thought among others, you would be the first one to help me through my lost. You just don't care. This is not how I wanted to remember you because you have never been like one ever (You did actually). Doubly sad....

Make a move

You are too choosy.. That's what people always told me.. No, I am not. I am left with too little a choice. Who on earth is not intimidated or felt left behind if one after another of his/her friends are settling down? I am now 25 and yes, I am super single. I have been looking around and yes, minutes back I made my bold move. It wasn't too bad though I ended up holding the single title once more. I really don't know if I would ever marry?? At least, I made my first move...

Sad

I thought it would be easy.. It might be an easy one if I was courageous enough to talk to her 2 years back. Unfortunately, I wasn't at all certain. I spent nearly an hour talking to her over the phone to make things clear between us two.. It wasn't too bad a case though. It was not a case of an unrequited one but rather a matter of time. As I said earlier, if I was manly enough to just approach her, maybe things would be entirely different by now. But back then, it wasn't as easy also. I was trapped in a sort of web. Complicated enough to suffocate me (I may not last the night if I wasn't strong enough).
Well, what I did just now was something out of mind. I did feel that it is never appropriate to discuss this L issue over an sms or a phone call. It was not a part of the plan but, arrrghhhh... it was a case of now and never.
Owh, I wanted to let you know the rest of the details but I am now to disheartened to continue typing., And, yeaah, I am sad....

Where my heart belong...

Do I still have any devout follower?? LOL. When was the last entry? Lemme check.. Owh, I see.. Hahahahaah.. This re-appearance is kinda lame.. Not that I was busy but I have a better avenue to channel my heartbreaks and headaches. What better way to relax after a long working hours entertaining monkeys in school other than a good sleep under my comfy duvet? Well, I do not want to start off by saying sorry for not updating whatsoever...
Life... Hmmm.. It's kinda the same.. Not adventurous as yet.. Right after my youthful studying years, I didn't quite have a chance to travel anywhere. My legs are well-bounded to the confined of the four walls. Thus, I started to lay out a plan; a plan which allows me to set my wings wider. This holiday, I refused to live a same holiday routine. Traveling a year back simply means I went out somewhere with my parents or any close family member by my side. Come on! I am now 25.. Ouch.. That big number.
So, there I was in Bintulu, Dijih and soon Kuching. WRITER's BLOCK... I need an snpiration to continue blogging.. Arrrghhhhh.. Sorry peep... I do have a lot to tell.. Don't worry.. Let me brave these few days to live to tell the tale of mine, of course...Till then.. I promise for a better come back next time...

P/S: Anyway, I haven’t been hanging out with my friends a lot and i feel bad. but being home is such a luxury and i just want to enjoy every minute of it… Because in few weeks time, I would be going back to hell and I am not happy about that. So forgive me if i find lounging at home on the couch surfing through channels on astro more appealing than hanging out in some coffee shop somewhere in town.

CINTA

Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu sayang
Barulah terasa ku bernyawa

25 and Still Single

That ugly truth has successfully maintained its irrefutable reputation for nearly 3 decades now. Everyone says that I am every mother-in-law's dream son-in-law which I find very misleading. Or did I read it correctly? It is not the mother-in-law that matters. It is actually the daughters whom I failed to impress.
People too, say I will one day find THE ONE.. I have been waiting and patiently waiting and waiting and the waiting continuous until this very moment but I ended up thinking maybe this is my destiny; to spend my later years all by myself.
I have been attending a lot of weddings. Sometimes, I went teary for a reason which is obvious. I could not even see myself walking down the church aisle with my other half. I could not envision myself saying I DO.
I try to be ignorance of these facts; the fact that I am wanted by nobody; the fact that I am a total NOBODY; the fact that I am a man without woman. It is now so extremely difficult to find a prospective wife. I will probably never marry.

I am coming back home...

Just wanna say hello... Thanks for still visiting..

What?

What makes you think I want the things you never have? What about the thing that I want?

You can't make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it is no longer a mistake. It is a choice.
-Unknown-

Japan, my heart goes out to you

I could not imagine the agony of the Jap who lost their precious everything in the heartrending twin-natural-disaster epic. The pictures of their misery are everywhere. The tragic videos has significantly intensified my sympathy for these grief-stricken citizen of Japan. What could I reasonably afford to offer other than whispering my prayers through the wind to reach out for them. I am certain that such calamity would only make Japan a stonger nation. History has shown us that Japanese are mighty. This "Land of the Rising Sun" would definitely rise again.

Keloid

I went to see an Orthopedic Specialist on March 8th last week for the follow-up. He is contented to see that I am in one piece again except for my arm. It has a raised area at the site of my former wound and stitches called keloid. Reddish brown, firm, rubbery and shiny would best describe how does this ugly keloid of mine looks like. Adding to this hideous sight, this benign tumor which has spread well beyond the area of the original wound often accompanied by sharp pain and itching which is awfully uncomfortable.
The solution, according to the passionate specialist, is through steroid injection or through the surgical removal of all the scar tissue. He, however, does not know to WHICH extend would either way help. But, he reassured me that the dermatologist that I would be seeing in May knows what is best for me. He is the Orthopedic Specialist by the way. Let's hear from the dermatologist whose days are committed into perfecting skin.

Sacrifice...

8

Our damaged Vios J M

My mum dumped a handsome RM10k for the wrecked Vios J M in no more than a year back. She has again put in the similar amount for her coming, brand new Vios E AT. Within this one year, she has given away her Rm20k for the downpayment for two cars. However, the insurance company would issue a cheque worth RM9k soon. That is the only amount left after they settled the remaining bank loan. That is one good news that has returned my mum her warm smile.

Driving away this beauty next week (Vios E AT)

I was actually heartbroken to see how cheerless she was to give in such a huge amount of capital again for another car within a year. She has to buy a new car for everyone's convenience, especially my aba. He has to ride on his motorcycle and head off to his office on the dusty road which is under maintenance. He sometimes reaches home all wet and soaked. She does not buy the idea of her driving all comfortable to the hospital while her significant other half has to endure these unwarranted circumstances.

Despite the devastating aftermath of the Tanjung Skrang's accident and the uncalled for monetary mayhem, we are now really thankful that we have somehow escaped the thick gratuitious fog with delight.

Bruno Mars

Boogieing to Bruno Mars' is my current passion at current. His music is awesome. Enough said. The world knows him better.

HTC Desire HD

Owh. Bidding Samsung Galaxy S II farewell... I don't mean to say goodbye but, this one steals my heart away at one significant instance. I love this Quietly Brilliant Smartphone. I really do. It prides itself as World's Leading Smartphone and yeah, it is World's Best Android Phone. The camera is magnificent. The touchscreen is just awesome. The apps are super-fantastic. Thanks to the versatile Android. I JUST love everything about this rocking-cool HTC creation.

A glimpse of my workplace

This middle section of the staffroom is mainly occupied by the bachelors and the bachelorettes..

Newly changed rubber mat... Looking good in this picture..

My working area.. I sometimes spent a good 10-hour here...

Samsung Galaxy S II

I have a bad track record with Samsung mobile phone. I purchased one last time and it gave me a terrible headache. It was a case of a fatal love at the first sight. I did not see it coming that I blindly bought myself one. It took me a painful 3-day to finally traded it in with a Sony Ericsson mobile phone which offered me heaven. Since then, nothing from Samsung line up could capture even my slightest interest.

My previous Samsung SGH E950 (Thought this was my first and last Samsung phone)

It has always been Sony Ericsson not until I found this one. This SAMSUNG GALAXY S II is an exception. It is an exception for such an exceptional smartphone. I do not know what has gotten into me but I want this phone so bad that I am now dying to OWN one. I have wholeheartedly decided to get a set of this brilliant gadget. I'll let you know. Sorry to let you down Sony Ericsson Arc... Anyway, this would be my second most expensive investment so far after my Myvi SE.

Below is the technical details of this superbly outstanding smartphone.

You may want to click on the picture above for a better view.

Corrective surgery??

From this to

and from this to the one below...

Well, this is how I currently look like. The scar is visibly there. It shows no sign of vanishing fully. I have been religiously applying a whole range of recommended curative gel, oil or ointment which are costly but every end result is equally frustrating. The condition remains the same and seemingly, it would serve as a permanent reminder that I could not live a day without being reminded to the grave accident. As much as I tried not think about it, whenever I looked into the mirror and glanced trough my photos before the accident, at times, it hurts me somehow to see the unwarranted scar on my face. I know that CLEARLY I am not even Brad Pitt's closest match but how I wish the scar is there no more.

I have never thought that the above picture has now become my living memory of my nearly-unblemished face. It wasn't flawless but it surely was a zillion time better than it is now.

My am at present

As much as I hate people knowingly stare at my flecked arm, I have to brave myself wearing short sleeve T-shirt. I have never tried to hide this ugly sight from the public. Although having people to look intently at my bruised arm is no longer an awkward experience, however, their judging eyes make me feel so uncomfortable and sometimes, humiliated. Reading their expression makes me sick to my stomach. They must have thought I have caught a kind of a skin disease due to my poor hygiene or something. Come on, people, I can't afford to tell every pair of gawking eyes that what they are seeing is actually a cruel, unwanted mark of a road mishap.

Day 3 after the road accident.

Day 7

Towards healing....

You have no idea how badly I want my sound arm back...

On Tuesday, the 8th, I would be seeing a specialist again. Perhaps, I might resort to a corrective plastic surgery?

Miracle Blind Massage

Most of my friends would only go for massage when they are suffering from muscle pull or the like. However, massage appears to be my most breathtaking idea for relaxation.
I visited Miracle Blind Massage regularly. The place is simple with air-conditioner and very clean. I also love the fact that the masseur is really acquainted with what he is doing. Every masseur here has a cert and most importantly, they do have the recognition and accreditation from the Ministry of Health, Malaysia.
This massage centre is nothing like the mushrooming massage parlours everywhere else. So, guys, aspect no China doll here, okay?
Upon leaving the door after a terrific one or two hour of totally out-of-this-world massage session, I would feel so light and rejuvenated which lasts for days. The name, Miracle Blind Massage really speaks for what it stored for in return. Thus, pampering myself for a not-expensive-stress-relieving therapy is now fixed as a must-do monthly activity, at least once a month.

Location:
Opposite ITA College, Jalan Pedada, Sibu.

Operating hour:
9 am - 9 pm on weekdays
9 am -12 pm on weekends
Close on Public Holiday

Best if you could arrange for an appointment. The masseurs are always occupied. Reach them at 084 210 586 / 016 857 7433

Am I its self-appointed ambassador or something? LOL

HBO

HBO programme list for February is sizzling hot... My eyes would be superglued onto the TV screen for good.. Owh, it is not TV. It's HBO.. Hehe.. I missed quite a number of awesome movies last 2010. So, I better start filling in my mum's handful, empty Tupperware containers with something crunchy and yummie.. Wanna sit back and relax and enjoy the show.. A simple way to enjoy life, is it not?

Painkiller and I

Since I felt 10 times stronger, I decided to end my nearly-a-month affair with Constant & Tramadol. Guess, I have jumped into a wrong conclusion. My body started to ache. I feel weak. Hmmm... How long do I need to hinge on to either one of those two painkillers? Maybe I need to get myself started with a physical regime from now on. Exercising could probably help. I drugged my system a little bit too much already. Time for cleansing, a thorough one...

Chua Chen Kee

The aching is consistent and seemingly endless. I finally opted for an alternative remedy. I went to see Chua Chen Kee, an experienced, humble and effective Chinese Physician. He has a very calming voice and his modest consulting room resembles no elegance despite his grandeur reputation as a whiz of traditional healing.
This man is a man who works not for money. He wants only to be of assistance. So, within your capacity, you may evenhandedly give him any amount that you think reasonable.
The treatment lasted for 3 successive days. The process was not at all complicated. It involves nothing eerie or mysterious. No chant whatsoever. He does not need a fancy machine either. His only equipment is his finger.
He first asked me to sit. Then, he expertly worked his skilled finger all over my body t0 fix my problem with a light press on certain point. His consultation took up to 10 minutes the most.
I have completed the final phase today. I do feel a change. It could be a coincidence. But, what matters is, I do feel better. Thanks, old man.

Earning Money

My way of earning money is self-manipulation at its best. At current, if I depend solely on my salary as a teacher, buy the third week, you would see less of my appearance in kedai kopi. A quarter of it goes to my car. You must be thinking that I have been spending my money prodigiously. Walter must be extravagant and recklessly wasteful.With the amount of money he has, how could he already suffer by ONLY the third week? Does not he has more than sufficient amount of money with him? Dahla tinggal dengan family? Good questions you got there.
Nothing in this world is for free, no? The moment you switched on your car engine, the moment you passed by a toll, the moment you turned on the water pipe, the moment your mouth begins chewing, the moment you lit up your room, the moment you make a phone call, EVERY moment is always tagged with a price.
Staying at my parents' does not exclude me from the responsibilities of paying up for bills, groceries etc. I hardly spend a single cent for myself. If I go for a bowl of kampua, you would see my mum sitting next to me. If you catch a glimpse of me in KFC or Pizza Hut, people could have mistaken me as a father of two lovely kids. Before you knew it, the luxurious 4-digit CASH on the ATM screen would soon become 2-digit.
Thus, I try to find a way out which is, hmmm, easy. As I said earlier on, my way of earning more pocket money is pretty much self-manipulative. Hence, I am making the best out of me. I am now an English teacher not only in SMK Bandar Bintangor but in Top Tuition School as well. 60% from the tuition fee of each student will go directly into my empty wallet.
What is my other way? Well, a lonely, 40-minute drive to my school would be a mind-numbing journey. Moreover, I have to pay for RM6 for a day trip for an overpriced toll bridge. So, this one lucky day, I was approached by a teacher who asked for my mercy to give him a ride, not a free ride but a ride that would add more cash into my account. Now, the journey is truly warmth not only because of his company but his $$$ too. Mind you, he does not have to pay for the car monthly installment. He has to pay for the fuel only. At least my burden is now halved.
I am happier now with my financial situation. I am no tauke. So, I just need to be careful with my spending. I however, do not have to watch too closely where does every ringgit go to. I have a short, great life to enjoy too, right?

3 Idiots & Akeelah and The Bee and

Dearest fellow teacher,
Are you looking for an inspiration? Or maybe you need a right reason to shedding tears? I would recommend these two movies highly. Let's see how would this two masterpieces change your perspective.
3 Idiots is no ordinary Hindi movie. Of course it is still a typical one if you are talking about the dance and the singing which surprisingly give this movie just a nice, right, balance, But, hey. Hindiphobic, before you decided to exclude this movie from your cart, just give it a chance it truly deserved. You would not regret it. I can't be more sure than I already am. You will LOoooVEeeeeeeeeeeeee it.. Trust my judgment.
Akeelah and the Bee is also superfantastic. I indebted to Cg. Lucia for introducing me to such a legendary movie. Oooppsie.. I have not returned you your DVD which I have kept for about 2 months. My sincerest apology. I will hand it back in one piece when I come back to school this Friday. Anyway, this movie reminded me to its equal greatness which is The Great Debator. Gosh, so many brilliant movies to be watch out there.
Well, both movies may not turn you simply into just another fair person, but in my case, I learn a painful lesson of unequal opportunity. Don't hesitate. Just watch them, will you? Hehehe.. Then, come back to me.. Let me hear from you.. Tell me how you feel...

Something the Lord Made

This movie is EXCEPTIONAL and PHENOMENAL!!! Just watched it on HBO HD few seconds back. These two verses really leave me with a huge impact!!
"You don't really live unless you have a lot to regret."
"We see it everyday, but it does not make it any easier, does it?"

Decision is Made

I have wholeheartedly decided!! This would be it. It would only reach Malaysia market in the next three months. The waiting would be tormenting but a worthwhile one I hope. IF I could not get this particular piece, then, the one below would be it ONLY replacement.

Remaining Pieces

What I found while washing my hair this morning was a bit shocking. There were remaining pieces of crushed glass from the accident left on my scalp which explains the discomfort I experienced whenever I kneaded my head. Not one, not two but several pieces affixed unknowingly neat onto my scalp. I gently pulled them out; trying my very best to reduce the pain. The size of each was astonishing. It came out like a rice grain, luckily with blunt edges. I hope my body is now glass-free.

Latest craze

When it comes to decision making, it has always been the hardest. I have been browsing on the best qwerty, slider mobile phone on the internet for these couple of weeks like a mad men; sorting through results and reading reviews. Initially, I thought I would stick to Sony Ericsson Xperia X2. Apparently, other brand name has caught my attention fairly well. There is an array of selection with different features. For a matter of fact, one mobile phone does have one strength that makes the other counterparts look bad. And because of this SINGULAR STRENGTH that every desired phone has, it makes decision making even tougher. Thus, I really need to focus on its practicality as well as its functionality. I do not want to make a wrong deal and judgment here. At this very second, I still could not decide which mobile phone offers me the best of everything. Would it be Nokia E7, Motorola Milestone 2, Nokia N900 or Sony Ericsson Xperia X2? Help me please, to make a definitive pick!!

Sony Ericsson Xperia X2

Nokia N900

Motorola Milestone 2

Nokia E7

Pain

Enduring the pain that I am experiencing from one second to another is almost unbearable now. I feel like giving up on nursing the wound on my upper right arm especially. Showering is no longer a wonderful moment. I have to be meticulous not to wet my injured arm.
The fault is mine though. If I did not show up in the school for two days, the abrasion might not turn as bad. I did not suppose to take the wheel quite yet or even write on the blackboard. The consequence is devastating. Every move that I make, pay. At this instant, I have to bear the effect of my deed.
The lesion on my arm looked bad. Thus, sleeping can never be as sound. Moving my right hand would lead me to writhing in pain. Adding to my wretchedness, my left knee has begun to swell perhaps because of excessive walking and too much standing while teaching.
My visit to Orthopedic Specialist ended up with me being given a week of Medical Leave which I terribly need as recommended by the specialist from Sibu Hospital. He in fact wanted to assign me a meeting with a physiotherapist to which I declined.
A week leave simply means other teachers have to take care of my duty. I feel so bad because I would need to trouble my colleague to get some of my work done. I am the class teacher. Every teacher knows how hectic it is for the first few weeks of the year after the school re-open. My students are also at lost. My sincerest apology for causing such an inconvenience. I do believe that they understand my predicament and for that I thank each and every one of you profoundly.
Wondering how would t be like without painkiller? Guess it would be too much to put up with... O, Lord.. Ease my pain......

My Cart: Fulfilling my 2011 Wish List

I think it is time to reward myself with these gadgets.
Have been dreaming to own them for so long and I do not think I could wait any longer. February is the time.

Celebrating FRIENDSHIP

I was very happy to actually spend a good one hour with my dearest friends. Their visit was totally unexpected. Earlier on, they did try to reach me via my mobile phone which was left in my bedroom. So, they contacted Jimmy to ask for the direction to get to my home. They even asked Ambun for direction as well. Haldeah, Deal, Sasha, Ash, and of course Jimmy, THANKS A LOT!!!! Owh yea, makseh to Deah's sister too... I was so excited to see them around that I found myself stuttering. I am still very happy at this very moment that I can't even close my eyes. I feel so much loved!
We human can't really stay as one. We do neeed people to lift up our spirit. Weeks ago, Dhiya and his father-in-law came for a visit. Dhiya visited me again for the second time a day after Christmas with his housemate, Awang. Their warm presence left me with a very similar effect. With such heartwarming souls around, I felt no pain at all. Listening to their reassuring voices really put me at ease. I felt so lighthearted.
When Dylan called, it was another uplifting moment. This dude really knows how to touch my soft spot. Thanks, bud! Like others, you also made my day! Come Robin, Kim, Safa, Ina, Dewi, Sap, Yanna and Nana whom constantly monitored my well-being from afar. Do you know that you guys are my ROCK STARSS?? I do now value and place our friendship at its highest.
And to YOU to who keeps on praying for my recovery, thanks a lot. Luvly Coh. 4, thanks for your overpouring prayers. I am now ready to face the world again because of each and everyone of you.

Let these photos speak on my behalf...

Blogger: Making my HeaRt audiBle.. Through mistake I learnt greatly, through YoU I walked Steadily - Create Post

Thank You

I can't thank everyone enough for what they have done. My heartfelt gratitude goes to:

1. My father who has committedly devoted his entire time to look after me
2. My lil' brother, Arthur who has been a great caretaker
3. My mum for patiently nursing me so well
4. My auntie, Ibuk Lado for her undivided care and concern
5. Apai Angel & family for generously supporting us
   
6. Apai Stephanie & family, Apai Brenda & family, Apai Ernest & family for praying for me religiously and constantly
7. Everyone of Rumah Entiri for being so supportive of me
8. Friends and relatives
   
9. People of Tanjung Skrang
10. Betong Hospital
11. Sibu Hospital
12. So many others kind-hearted and heartwarming person

Thank you so very much for all those get-well wishes, prayers and encouragement, for all you've said and done, for taking the trouble to bring me joy. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you...

You don’t care

I am so disheartened that you did not even bother to come and to pay me a visit at such a trying time. I do not expect you to come with a basket full of fruits from every corner of the earth. All I need is your encouragement. I need you to support me morally. I need to listen to your get-well wishes. I need to feel your warmth. I do believe that you knew it so very well how good words may put one’s spirit on a pedestal, no? And hey, none of those would cost you a penny. At its slightest, a sms that reads “Can’t wait to see you on your feet again!” would do. Outwardly, you are a very thoughtful person. Apparently, your true-self has surfaced itself. Slowly, I get to learn that you are after all not a compassionate person. Maybe I am so unimportant, so insignificant or extremely irrelevant thus I do not deserve a moment of your so precious time. One day, if such a thing happens to you, I will show you what compassion and empathy are.

Heartless lady doctor

I would not be appalled to see people leaving hospital with a very sour face. How would they not if upon their visit for consultation, follow-up and what not, all they get was a stern remark from a doctor whom they regard to the highest degree? Supposedly, a hospital is where a person may find a peace of mind partly because people know that they are in a good hand with great doctors around them. Ironically, with their already frail condition, their suffering is made double. When the patient inquisitively-but-reverently asked for their godly-professional opinions about their well-being, the doctor shouts and yells at them. They make fun of them. They make faces. They even walked away so inconsiderately leaving their clients helplessly weeping in pain.

Where does this come from? I was on my third visit to a nearby clinic for a follow-up. So, after a nerve-racking waiting that took everlastingly forever, I finally got a chance to see a doctor. When my name was summoned, I respectfully greeted the doctor a warm “Good morning,” in which I received a mute responds. Maybe she didn’t hear me.

What came next was totally unanticipated. I told her that I needed a couple of days of SICK LEAVE because I could hardly walk and stand. How do you expect me to teach and control my students in such a weak state? Furthermore, my injured right arm would not allow me to hold a chalk and even take the wheel quite yet. It is a 40-minute drive to reach my school, ok. These were the missing facts that this lady doctor has unexpectedly failed to acknowledge. Out of a blue, after she glanced through my discharge summary, she provocatively questioned my request. She said that my arm could not be in pain since it was not stated in my discharge summary.

Owh, come on! Couldn’t you see the obvious? My arm was all wrapped up. I walked like an aging old man. Did you need me to scream in anguish to prove that I AM still in PAIN? Or maybe you needed a more dramatic evidence like walking into you room with my hand wiggling and bleeding? Only then would you be satisfied? Doctor dear, the one whom should get the blame is your fellow colleague who did not wholly provide you with such a great details. And, mind you! I am not A PART of your flawed system which you have unknowingly highlighted and made more apparent with your defective manner. For goodness sake, I am you client; an unfairly and unkindly treated client. Erm, let us not pin down the guilty party here.

Looking at the situation again, all I asked from her was to responsibly grant me a couple of days of sick leave. Before I left the room, I too asked for few necessary medications that may facilitate my recovery which slipped through my mind at first. She annoyingly and disgustingly looked at me and barked “Why didn’t you mention about it earlier?”

It was a direct pang. She ruined my day. Only if you mercifully and graciously nurse me, my wound might as well heal instantly. I have suffered enough. I do not need more. You do not have to intensify my misery. SEE!!! WHAT HAVE YOU UNJUSTLY DONE to the rest of the other doctors whom have compassion in their hearts?

P/S: May I suggest you to redefine the word D.O.C.T.O.R? Make it noble.