Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My room

This is the place that has witnessed a lots of me... This is my nest, my kennel, my hut, a place that is unbeatable by just about anything.. When I am within this little territory of mine, the outside world may not be able to interfere in anyhow. Not any form of invasion shall break the shield that is sealed with a collective of rich goodness of mankind. Perfectly guarded. Untainted is my room!
The moment I walk into this modest sanctuary of mine, I would get the peace of mind! The magic last since the ancient time. My private place that offers me solace. Once I throw myself to my bed, I would be instantly reenergized and I am ready again to walk out the door.
When I need inspiration, my unassuming bookshelf would dance with my heart to the rhythm it longs for. Feeding my soul with the unmistakenly aspiring books that may repurify my tainted perspective.
When my ears need some sort of music, the room would sing me a lullaby that would lead me to a deep, tranquil sleep.
When my eyes need a rest, the pictureques, scenic view that my windows offer would make my eyeballs jump triumphantly.
My room is surely not the closest match to any leading uncountable stars of any leading hotels. But, it is indeed the closest match to what my heart needs.
I want to be there now.. But, I am here.. Miles apart..


Others may say whatever they want about me.. No matter how bad or how cruel or how brutal could their words be, I may still walk down my path just quite fine and I would handle each wisely for I am assured that the impact would not be HUGE.. Those people hardly know me and therefore, their judgements bear only a little or no significance at all.. But not IF the harsh, inconsiderate remarks are uttered by none other than my own friends, let alone my close friends; whom have been with me for so long, whom claimed to understand me truly inside out.. That would piss me off!! Everyone else too for the matter of fact!
To the ONE!
Seriously, at this moment, you are leaving me at a T-junction.. I am not sure which direction shall be taken. Would I be a complee fool believing in something that you have built in the air? I leave this matter to YOU.. If really I am your .... friend as u claimed (let me drop that sacred, superlative adjective for now), let us see what move will you be taking next.. I am DEEPLY HURT!

Starving for this word from you...

What can heal the broken soul?
What would make a joyful world?
What may wipe the streaming tears?
What may cure the bleeding sore?
Not the thoughtless words,
Not the heartless bawl,
Just a compassionate word..


Pardon me, please!

This particular entry is indeed an insult to the overall me!! I have never been using those crooked words so openly but I am in need to let go of those disrturbing emotions continents away from my system!
Fuck off!!!
Just dont speak a word..
Mind u????
I just hate you for wat u hav said just now!!
Blah la!!!!
I mean it!!!!
Get lost!!!
Dont you hear it!
I have had enough of this nuisance!!
If I didnt get those words typed here, ppl wd see your face bluish tomorrow.. And I just dont want to do that quite yet!! Dont want to tarnish my reputation and my good record!
Hoi, aku ada hati juak!! Just be careful with your words!! Dont blindly say wat u r uncertained with! Dont simply say things that u r not accustomed with!! Dah, blahhh!!
(Now I feel better)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009




I am not good at all in customizing my own blog template.. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.... The other day, Deal had to take the trouble for about an hour or so to come out with a good one by my preference.. It was fine! I love the graphic that accompanies it.. But,I shall bid it farewell because it was not user-friendly.. I want my blog to be interactive and easy.. Hmmm.. Lep, I seriously appreciate your hardwork.. But, heehe.. guess I have to be accommodating.. Sayang kali juak sik dapat guna template ya.. KMK SANGAT SUKA.. tapi yalah hakikat hidp, sik semestinya dapat apa yang kita suka.. even dah dapat pun, sik semestinya puas dgn apa yang ada.. hahaha.. Thanks again Lep..
AND this is it for the time being.. Simple but accessible and light I supposed.. Dont know when would I be able to change to a better layout, template, skin watsoever.. Help, anyone? I want a blog template or skin that personifies WALTER truly.. hahaha

Friday, August 21, 2009

Muzikal Sesuci Lebaran Dato' Siti Nurhaliza

I should have looked better than I am in this photo... Hehehe

I am a frequent visitor of, one of the leading unofficial websites developed by Dato' Siti's biggest fan! Here I found a lot of updates and this website allows me to track my idol's activity, project or news closely. I guess I am pretty much aware of what is going to happen next.
Was it yesterday or the day before, I got to read an announcement about Muzikal Sesuci Lebaran Dato' Siti Nurhaliza which would be held in an alien place. I made a call and I managed to get a place not only for myself but for my four other friends as well who are Dato's Siti die-hard fans. Except for one lo.. Haha.. But never mind.. Because I believed that everyone was enjoying every passing second!
Talking about the venue of this musical, we had a hard time looking for it. Some other things happened as well but not worth being mentioned here. Let's not talk about the unhappy stuff here because my heart is so much filled with joy!
You might be saying what I am about to claim later is bias because I am her fan. Your judgement belongs only to you, EXCLUSIVELY!! Say whatever you want about her; but only I knew which is true.
She is attractive! She is approachable. She is adorable. She is sweet. She is gorgeous. She is elegant. She is very humble. She is extremely generous. She is gifted with a heavenly voice. She is full with enthusiasm. She takes a very good care of everyone's welfare; the crew and everybody involved in realizing her project,mini concert or anything. She is appreciative! These characteristics of Dato' Siti have never failed to mesmerized those around her.
I have been attending her concert once (Konsert Satu in Istana Budaya, very recently). I have also met her face to face once back in Kuching during her nationwide tour. I have watched her performing live in front of my very eyes in Sibu some times ago at National Day Closing Ceremony which was held in Sibu, my hometown. Not to mention her too-numerous-to-mention TV shows and programmes which I hardly missed..
Last night was the night that I shall REMEMBER and CHERISH forever!!! I got the chance to actually TALK to her and SIT with Dato' Sit Nurhaliza side by side. I have had a SUPER QUALITY time with my beloved Dato' Siti Nurhaliza!!!!
There was an empty chair next to me. I did not actually expect her to sit RIGHT by my side in which she did. Shoulder to shoulder!! I was so EXTREMELY happy!! It is a rare chance to get to sit next to the most pretigiously hailed pop princess in Asia! I was speechless that everything happened far beyond my expectation. Owh, how sweet she is!!!
I remember talking to her about our first meeting. She nodded and flashed her 1 trillion kilovolt smile that melts my heart and caused my feet to shake. I congratulated her for her endless accomplishment as well. She responded very sweetly!!!! How I wish that I have her to myself! Haha.. I am indeed grateful for this avenue, anyway!!
And guess what, she treated everybody to a splendid supper! I enjoyed my KFC so much because Dato Siti bought it for us. Interestingly, the chicken tasted sooooooooo muchhhhhh better than ever.. Hehehe.. I too indulged myself pampering my lust over lemang and rendang. HEAVEN!!!!
She sang only two of her songs. Well, it was fine though because I got to meet her, sit next to her, talk to her, shake her hand, listen to her fantastic singing and most importantly, I was blessed with a magnificent chance to take photos with her.
Am wondering whether I would be ever to meet her again, eye to eye.. Wishing her the best and I'll always be supportive of u!!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Four days before home!

It's Monday.. I am so thrilled because I will be home very, very soon!!! I am excited but I guess those at home are equally excited as well or perhaps much more. My mum and dad keep on asking for my flight details; the departure and the time of arrival even though they both have been informed of those for I don't know how many times.. Aren't my folks funny? And each time my mum makes a phone call, the conversation would be incomplete without her asking what do I want to eat... Hahahaha.. So luvly! And my pa has decided to take a half day leave to spend the second half of that Friday with me... In fact they call me EVERYDAY, not once but sometimes, one call in the morning and another at night. That makes it two calls a day.
There goes my sister... The one behind my homecoming plan. Hahahaha.. She keeps on feeding me with how much Angel missses his Kakel... I am well-updated about Baby Cheryl Ann progress as well. Hahaha.. And guess what? She has banked-in a RM100 for my cab from UKM to LCCT... Owh... Thank you so much!!!!
And Adrian doesn't want to miss this sweet drama too. He has already asked for a day leave to pick me up from Sibu Airport. I am informed that he will be bringing Angel along.
So unfortunate that my brother, Arthur could not join this reunion. He has a class to be attended on Saturday.. It's ok.. I'll be meeting him in a month time because I'll be home again for a good 2-week this coming Raya holiday.
I guess I better start re-packing now. I packed for Raya holiday oredi ( I noe it's still too early). I did not expect myself to be home any sooner than Raya hol. For Raya I will be boarding MAS flight that generously provides me with 25 kgs baggage allowance. So now, I have to re-pack because the bag is slightly heavy since AirAsia would allow only 15 kgs for the baggage.
Anyway, I bought 6 different types of mooncake and 2 types of serunding. And of course bajussssssss for Kakak Angel and her Adik Ann.. Thinking of kampua, kompia, cakoi, mi goreng basah, PLR (shhhhh), pulut, pinsip and pansuh ehm.. hehehe...

My work, my pride

I guess some of you may be tired of me questioning almost everything in life... Bear with me, still, yea.. Hehehe... Owrtye, I am actually wondering how can a person take his task or job or work so lightly? Isn't she or he concerned witht the end product? I just can't believe my ears sometimes when I heard people saying something like you-know-what! Maybe I have forgotten that each of us have our own preffered style to get something done. As long as it is done, right? I don't want to answer that question.
I take pride in my work because I did each with great passion and with a warm heart. No matter how long it would take, no matter how far it may go, mo matter what it takes, I will ensure that the end product is my best. And of each, I will make sure that it is something fresh and new. Once I have decided to start on something, I will travell the 1,000 miles journey if that is what it required. Anything that cross my way shall be dealt with wisedom though sometimes (or is it most of the times?) I tend to be a bit emotional. I guess I learnt this value from my parents. They will never give in!
All this while, I have been gripping tightly on this proverb. "Hendak Seribu Daya. Tak Hendak Seribu Dalih." And I guess it works its magic.

I feel I am being left out..

Hate it when I started to fell this way... Hmmm.. I remember telling someone that we can't expect to be treated similarly by others no matter how nicely we treated them.. It is us who wanted to treat them so nicely. So, expect NOTHING in return because they have never asked to be treated so divinely.
However, if the pattern isn't so desirable, I guess I may feel this awful... When you have been giving too much that you receive nothing in return, unless you are heartless, then you wouldn't feel as bad as I am now.
Do I make myself sound calculative here? Please, don't you spare that thought. Everything that I did was sincerely done! But, the only trouble is, when you receive not a single sign of appreciation, how would you feel?

Time Management Poster Exhibition

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you are the pilot. Sounds kewl, isn't it? Well, give us your support yea.. So, see you there... Thanks everyone!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The surpressed anger

I wanted by hard to avoid any contact with anything I find unpleasant. So that, I don't have to fake myself. But an instant in which certain things may be inevitable, I DO have to fake myself. Though I feel bad, really, really bad, but at least those around me are happy.
People tell me that I am not good at hiding my emotion. Ironically, if they could detect how I truly feel, why then they refused to be more accommodating when I reacted coldly? I mean, since they could read my unhidden emotion, why are they insiting on me to do something I don't like? When it is obvious that my 'YES' is actually a 'NO,' why forcing me still?
I have been dragging myself to walk the path that I found little or no excitement at all. I think I am not only one here with this issue right? Pleasing others and depriving myself from my true joy is indeed torturing. Why do I have to consider others when they don't really care about me? About my feeling? Why do I have to put aside what I truly feel inside? Are the sacrifices that I have made worthwhile? It is if later I grin and it is not if you find me unlively and writing and grumbling about it again.
Wait, of this I am not so entirely sure. Because again, they may be a form of abundant blessing attached to each heartache. Because, in my unhappiness, when I see others' bubbly faces and when I hear others laughing happily, though at the first place all I wanted is to be away from that circle, a smile may be subconciously fabricated.
Or maybe, who knows we may decode the meaning of life or maybe along the way, we may unearth the buried truth that would answer all the troubling doubt that have been haunting us? Trying to be a bit optimistic, shall I then open my arm widely to embrace any possibilities because the more you persist, it insists (Rai, 2008). I believe sometimes, though the winding path that we halfheartedly travel by maybe troublesome, but, no one can tell what has it got to offer in the end of the path...

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I love movies...

I have listed the movies that I must watch and marked the premiere of each on my table calender so that I would not miss any. To my delight, most of the movies have left me with a kind of an emotional impact. Angels and Demons (spitirually inspired), Terminator Salvation (friendship), Transformers II: The Fallen of the Revenge (family value). Harry Potter: The Half-blood Prince & G.I Joe: The Rise of the Cobra (love never dies).. And I I'll make sure that I'll get myself the DVD of each because I will be wanting to watch those movies again.
But, it was a sorry sight for the fan of Harry Potter. I am not entirely amused and I find the sequel very uninspiring unlike the previous four. I really felt like walking out the cinema. I even went asleep for a few second and was only awaken by the sound effect. This too-heavily publicised Harry Potter was a turn-down. And this remind me to a Chinese movie which did me the same thing too. I am a big fan of kung fu movie. However, this one is just the otherwise. The plot was developing at the pace of a snail. But, at least I stayed till the end of the movie for Harry Potter. For that Chinese movie, I walked out in the middle of the movie..
Looking forward to watch '2012' which will be in the cinema this November. Chow..

Frustrating Dinner at Palma D' Cafe

Did I get the name of the place right? Err.. It shares the same building with PKNS, Bangi. Anyway, I guess I ought to warn everyone to not go to this place for a buffet. Dont be blinded with the 'fantastic' presentation of their food preparation. Nothing is nice about the buffet. Not the tasteless fried rice, not the fried-kuey-teow-turn-bubur, not the overly decorative shaved ice kacang, not even the grilled uncooked chicken, not-properly-marinated lamb, foul-smelling squid and underdone fish! I missed another thing, their STEAMBOAT SUCKS!!! Owh ya, their hot dog too!! Owh my.. If happened there is a dog or a cat around, I would be as angelic as a saint to share every portion of my meal. And how I wish I could walk away and spend my RM28 for a better dinner?
However, I must compliment their Sprite because unlke any other fastfood restaurant, you would be getting the one that has been added with plain water. And yeah, thank you too for singing both of my song request. They have an OK one-piece live performance every night I supposed.
Mmmm, but if you intended to try the place still, do go for their ala-carte. And I must say, each is DIVINE!!! I tried their sandwiches, tapioca balls and hokiery beef steak (Thanks to Robin). Every dish was prepared to perfection BUT not the HORRIBLE BUFFET!! And we (Robin and I) were blinded by the splendid ala-carte that we were really excited to go for this unforeseen, dissappointing buffet. We made it a commitment to be there at 8.30 pm last Friday. But, our anticipation was not equally paid! Sigh...

Woken up by a pakcik...

Loud knock...
Aiyo.. Who could that be?? Glancing at my clock.... HUh?? 645am?? Gilo eh.. Grrrrrrrr... Dragging my feet to open the door. Popping sheepishly was a pakcik.
Pakcik: Nak tau tak Mazlan pegi maner?
I: Huh? Siapa tue?"
What a stupid respond. Tapi, benala.. sk kenal bah.. Then, I tried to cleverly guess Cleverka?.. Dont blame me quite yet.. Agik mamai bah... Baru bangun eh no... terbangun from the loud knock. And no one loved to be disturbed while sleeping? U buy that? Here, here..
I: Owh, Mazlan yg tinggal depan tue, ek?
Pakcik: Tau tak dier pegi mn?
Only then I realized that I was wearing no baju. Only in my shorts. There were few LADIES in front my of my door. Stupid eh..
I: Kejap a..
Pakai baju cepat2..
Pakcik: Dier tak angkat pun call..
I: Busy lah tue..
See another stupid respond from me.. And u must remember that I was disturbed from my sleep.
Pakcik: Kalau macam tue, boleh tolong beri barang kat Mazlan tak nanti..
I: Boleh la.. (hahahahaha)
So, there I was waiting impatiently because I was dyng to continue my sleep. The pakcik needed to get back to the car to take watsoever it is for his son, I guessla.. Must be the father kan? Or else he wouldnt be troubling himself to come so early in the morning.
Tunggu punya tunggu, sik datang juak. Aih.. Only then I realized that he met his son oredi. Padah la oooo... Hahaha

Surrounded by hypo!!

Tell me do you really like me? "Yes I do!!" Common answer, right? Then, the moment you turn your face to the other side, the otherwise is said. I have been witnessing this DRAMA so many times in my life that I am now really, exteremely & horribly annoyed with the people of this species!!
I know I have been bloging on this matter so many a time but I just can't help but to blog on this repeatedly because it happens almost every second!! So damn sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk of this drama queen or drama king!!
I am rather impressed at a time than I am irritated with these duplicitous bunch! They can act so well in front of the person that they claimed to be the one in their hate list. Little do they know that the victim knows it well that this deceitful fella would only be there when he or she needs a kind of help, support or backing.
These two-faced person may disguise themselves as a very emphatic and sympathetic listeners. They might as well appear to be sooooooooooo sikcly kind. In the end, at any single opportunity, they would say all the bad things, hardly anything good about the person who naively trusted them!
Maybe the situation above is not too bad. But, consider this. You made it public that you are allergic to this fellow. But then again, to this person as well would you turn to when you need a helping hand. And this person (kesian, eh) without any hesitation would be really happy to help. And again, seconds after this cuning person gets what he or she wants, this poor little being who have always been ready to lend a hand AGAIN being the victim of blackmailing, slandering, UMPATAN and KEJIAN!!! Gosh.. And this circle goes on and on and on...
Oi!!! Come on lah.. If you do not like the person, why bother asking for his or her help when in the end, still you would continuosly spread the message of hatred against the person that you do not favour? Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Bukan main gik padah orang ya gitok,orang ya gia... Lekak ya tek, time mintak tolong bukan main gik manis muka and manis kata2. Pas ya, anok gik then mintak tolong gik.. Apa ka???
Please, you have an image to shield from harm. Unless you are proud to be known as a hypocrite or a swindler, then just go on with what you think is right.. I hope it would not be too late too WAKE UP!!
Be honest to yourself at least!

Tidaklah aku sebodoh itu (my first attempt trying to be poetic in BM)

Kau membisu, elok ku biarkan dahulu.
Penat sudah ku menunggu,
Namun kau tetap berpaling dariku.

Pedih hatiku terdengar sayup-sayup hilai tawamu,
Terpana aku seketika,
Kerna tidak kau begitu tika bersamaku.

Puas sudah ku cuba menyelami lubuk hatimu,
Namun tetap jua kau begitu,
Bukan sekali namun selalu aku diperlakukan begitu.
Bodohnya aku tetap bertahan dengan sikapmu.

Apa kau ingat hanya kau punya hati yang ingin dimengerti?
Lupakah kau bahawa aku punya sanubari yang turut mahu difahami?

Bodohnya aku masih jua memberimu seluas-luas ruang,
Aku kira kini, aku bukan milikmu lagi.
Tidaklah aku sebodoh itu,
Menagih hatimu,
Tidaklah aku sebodoh itu,
Meminta secebis ruang hidupmu.

Jika aku tiada lagi harga,
Biarkan aku berlalu sayu.
Jika aku tiada lagi makna,
Lenyaplah aku dari kamus hidupmu.

Hairannya aku,
Masih jua aku umpamakan dirimu teman, sahabat dan rakan,
Tapi, bukan begitu nilaiku padamu.
Kau hanya bertandang tika hati menari gembira,
Kemudian, kau tinggalkan aku terpinga-pinga,
Di saat terkedip-kedip anak mata cuba meneroka di mana silapku,
Kau muncul kembali seharum bunga,
Cuba ku lupakan dinginnya sikapmu seketika.

Suatu hari nanti,
Bila sudah rapat tertutup pintu hatiku,
Jangan sesekali kau sesali,
Aku begini kerana tingkahmu begitu.
Jika kau punya hati batu,
Hatiku bisa menjadi sedingin salju,
Bisa menjadi sekeras permata biru.

Driving license

You gotta believe it... I lost my driving license the other nite. And it happened because I was so damn careless. What on earth would make me think that placing my wallet in the, (wat do we call it again?) 'bakul motosikal' was a sound idea? I put on a short with no pocket, ma.. So lazy to carry it on my hand that I ended up deciding on something really foolish...
I risked myself to be the victim of a snatch-thief. That is one. Secondly, I might have gotten my wallet flying with the gushing wind. Too bad, I refused to give these two likely-to-happen probabilities too much a thought though I have foreseen it!!! See.. See.. What a moron I was?
The nightmare was then realized! Yea, I lost it. Dear Robin had to sacrifice his dinner to help me to locate my license. We tracked slowly and patiently the route that we have taken for twice and it was nowhere to be found. Ahhhhhh... The search was not easy because we have to depend solely on our bare eyes. And it was at night!!
Then I told Robin to forget about it and suggested him to go for our dinner instead. You must be wondering after what had happened, how could I still have my appetite to eat? Anyway, I enjoyed my nasi goreng pattaya with 3 chicken and 2 beef satay!! Lick2... Hahaha.. Well, there is no use to cry over the spilt milk, right? Though deep inside, I couldnt stop cursing.. Huhuhu... Later, after our spoilt but yummie dinner, I checked the JPJ website for the nearest office. I got the address and the phone number as well as the hotline. Well, nothing much could be done not until the next morning.
I woke up early and I guess I was the first to call the JPJ. I told them that I lost my driving license and I asked them what shall I do next. I have a bewildering thought that I have to go to the police station to lodge a report, to go to the court for
surat sumpah, to do this and to do that. Hahaha... So fortunate that all I got to do is to have my I.C photostated, bring along a passport-sized photo and get my RM20 ready.
Harni would be my next victim since I do not know where is the JPJ office located in Putrajaya. As generous and helpful as she always is, she agreed to help. Everything is sorted out well. Now, I have my driving license and I swear I would never repeat this dumb mistake ever again!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sooner than I thought

Should have done this earlier!!! I will be going home much much earlier than I thought I would. I am sooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!! So very happy that I will be boarding the first flight to Sibu in less than 2-week. How can I not be happy? I hardly face another day here in UKM without having to think of home.. I guess that is the very reason that I got sick so easily. I have been coughing for more than a week.. I have done with the first circle of my antibiotics but it appeared to be not as effective as it had.
The power of heart has conquered the power of mind. Just can't wait. Can't sit still either. Owh.. Wanna start the countdown now...
Today is Sunday the 2nd... How many days left before Friday the 14th? Let us count together!
Lalalalalala.. llalalalal.. shut up Walt.. hahaha


First to only you,
And he got if from you,
And now she got it from him,
Made known to a little few,
And finally everyone knew.


The vow is broken,
The promise is wounded,
The trust is torn,
The secret is unhidden.


Secret shall be kept to no one but you yourself,
The moment one is acquainted with it,
It would be spread like a bushfire..
And you would be backfired..
You would then be crashed and burnt!


So, let us keep a seret, a secret,
Made is known to no one.
Not even to your close one.
Just no one...


Learning to trust I shall not be,
Learning to be wise I ought to be...

Not worth comparing

Walking down my life, I met a lot of people with an array of amazing and some not-to-amusing background. To each, I have a vast different reaction. I may feel extremely delighted to come to realize that I am one of those lucky person on earth. At one moment, I may feel so disheartened and not so enthralled to learn the bitter fact that I may not be able to take pleasure in what the other person is enjoying on day-to-day basis. How unlucky I felt.
I am a kind of of a person who would be spellbound with the exquisiteness that the materialistic world brings. I love to be wrapped around the idea of elegance, sophistication and classiness. Often, I found myself crawling to climb up the social hierarchy.
However, it has never been too late to grasp the fact that regardless of which social class that one may belong to, everyone is blessed with happiness. It is crucial to understand that despite one's social status, everyone is tested with challenges; no one could escape this. Neither the Queen nor the ordinary citizen is leading a life without obstacles.
Hence, shall I then keep on comparing my life with the others whom I assume more fortunate than I do? Shall I then keep my eyes blinded with the splendour display that one may elaboratively flaunt and parade? Shall I then be so disprited with others' extra fortune? I believe I shall NOT!!
We could never imagine living a life of a person that we envy. Thus, before we really turn into a green-eyed monster, perhaps it would be better to try to think of what it takes to be in his or her position.
We secretively whisper to our dear heart, "How I wish that I bla3...." I do that frequently. In such a time, often we forget that those people are human too. No one can tell the hardship that they have to face so much like us do. Everyone, no matter what is your social status, DO have problems. Only how you deal with it makes a huge difference.
What I ought to learn it to live normally. I shall now open my heart, my mind and my soul to any possibility to experience the real meaning of life or at least to enjoy this life. Joy, sorrow, greed etc are just a part of life. The very humanly nature is that we can never be satisfied with what we have, aren't we? Rather than dreaming of a life that is not yours, Walter, WORK SOMETHING OUT!! Be grateful is the only answer to my greed for my fantasy. Hahaha...