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Friday, December 19, 2008

When you have it all..

When you feel nothing at all,
When you feel so small,
When you can't take it anymore,
When everything feels so cold,
When your tears start to fall,

When people close their door,
When there is too much chore,
When you feel like being burnt by the charcoal,
When you anguishly need to make a call,
When you find no strength no more,

When you need to stand tall,
When you are being pushed towards the shore,
When u need someone to comfort your troubled soul,
When you need to put up a good show,
When you need everything to be alright,
When you need to lift up your spirit up to the sky,
When you feel like giving in,

When you need an assurance a friend would be there till the end of time,
When you have to sail through the rough and unforgiving sea,
And only when you need me around,
Would that be the only time you call for my name and knock on my door?
And when you have it all,
And when I feel nothing at all,
When I lost my soul and started to crawl and fall,
Why don't you even take me whole?

I own a heart too.
It needs care and love so much like you do..

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Goal II: Living The Dream

SURPRISE!!! I wasnt even planned to watch this fantastic movie not until I was forced by my pet brother to watch it. He assured me that it would be a good movie.. Owh my.. Hate it that he was right!! I got hooked to the movie till the very end while my brother went to bed halfway.. Isnt it weird for a non football fan?? It soon comes to my realization that football isnt just a game.. It is life!! Now I understand why do guy FALL INTO this dramatic game.. Goal II: Living The Dream is about Satiago Munez. after gaining experience with the football club Newscastle United, he gets a huge break when he's transferred to Real Madrid..
He has to undergo a life with no privacy.. Can u live it?? I cant.. The pressure, the slander, the defamation and other too numerous to mention are the price u have to pay for being super rich and super famous.. Ur life story could be twisted, more drama are added, turning good boy bad.. Mags may not carry with them the exact story of a star or a celeb.. One image may be badly taited and ruined.. The power of words cant be underestimated.
Well, "forget the money, forget the press, forget the fame. Go to the field and enjoy the game!" That is what being said by the coach (forgotten his name) to his jewels. A worthwhile 2 hrs.. A lot of lesson I get tonight.. Watch the movie dude!!

Fulfilled!!!

I can't be any happier than I am today.. I almost shed my tears when I knew that my brother's application for Health Inspector is successful after months of torturing waiting.. I am very happy for him.. seeing my mum continuous smile is enough.. It may not be the best paid job but it certainly will guarantee him a very bright future.. A secure one of course! I am very THANKFUL!! This is indeed God's best Christmas gift ever; one of the best!! Thank you for the blessing.. This year ends with bountiful harvest.. Conrgatulations, Arthur!! Best of luck to you!! In 3-yr time, u'll be working and u'll oso start to establish a life of an independent man! And let me remind u that it may not be easy.. But, u surely can get it through.. I put my entire faith in u!! I am so proud of you, brother..

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Quotable quotes

Ever heard of these?
When the wind blows stronger, the root grows deeper..
Calm sea does not make a sailor grows wiser..
Some may have forgotten that in the end of each, ever wondering of what would happen IF the INTENSITY of each GROWS BEYOND CONTROL?? Yeah, u r right!! Ur plant would fly away with the wind and ur boat would capsize.. Hmmm... If smthing is too much and too unbearable, what should we do then?? Giving in?? Or force urself further?? Either option is not appealing.. So????

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Simple Plan

Some critics say that this band has a lot of negative influence. But, when i listen to their songs, i found there is absolutely nothing wrong. Their songs may sound pathetic or pessimistic. So what? I kinda into Simple Plan lately.. I found my inspiration in each of their lyrics.. It keeps me somehow thinking.. Life can be so mean and cold as most of the lyrics say.. But come on.. Those hard days would give u a pleasant surprise ultimately. I personally give this boy band a two-thumb up for their effort in making people realized that life is not always a bed of roses.. You have to deal with each difficulty, like it or not.. And one of the ways may be tru singing it out loud like Simple Plan does.. And slowly, the miracles of life would slowly unveil itself. There is nothing with expresssing urself. Just let it go and when u r done, then get back to the world.. Music does cure.. Simple Plan ROCKS!!!!

I'm Just a Kid (Simple Plan)

I found this song is very significant.. It tells quite vividly my now, unfold story.. Looking around me, I have to accept the hard fact that I dont really have friends.. My friends are all scattered, world apart.. Some are in Kuch, few in Miri, even as far as the States and Uk... Compared to few others, whenever they are at home or in their hmtown, they would always have a bunch of friends to hang out with.. and I??? Hmmm..
I really do and indeed find my euphoric world within my family compound.. Other than that, i believed tat i do need FRIEND... But, sadly, I don't.. Something in life that I am missing..
I woke up it was 7
I waited till 11
To figure out that no one would call
I think I've got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone
When you're spending every day on your own
And here it goes
I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight
And maybe when the night is dead
I'll crawl into my bed staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time I had a good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go & they're gonna leave me here on my own
I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me
What the hell is wrong with me
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored & I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Package

Ever wondering why is it hard to leave ur old habits? Yeah, they do die hard.. it is almost impossible to get over ur addiction to anything once u r hooked... The only keyword or terminology that would best describe the entire scenario is PACKAGE.. Addiction comes with a truly enticing not-to-leave package.. It is a complete package that would secure the addiction to last possibly forever.. Let say u r an alcoholic.. The enjoyment, the euphoric world that it brings as perceived plus, like it or not the shame and the guilt that it may cause are the wholsesome package.. It gets balanced.. One element may be overwhelming that it is so unfortunate that it could be neutralised.. it is simple; the existence of both -ve and +ve element, say the euphoria and the guilt would make one feels owrite to continue tat habit.. That is the danger once u r ADDICTED... Be it a drug addict, a smoker, a rapist, a sex maniac; they share one common dilemma.. The thrill each addiction has and the adventurous endeavour that a person goes tru may not certainly be resisted PERIOD

Thursday, December 4, 2008

It's holiday!!

It has been a week or so since I have left my social circle.. Basically, at the moment, I am confining myself to a truly homely surrounding. I dont want to be bothered by heartaches that my social life may bring.. phew.. Well, it is now holiday.. And soon, it would end.. In less than a month, I have to return to my chaotic life.. Lets not talk about what future may bring (WOW.. IT WILL BE THE YEAR 2009 unbelieavably SOON!!!)
Home... I get to eat watever i want, werever, wenever.. Isnt that interesting?? Pretty much blessed with the luxury of time, everything is in my hand.. I get to drive, yeehaa... Movie after movie, a bowl or a plate of kampua, one after anader, parties here and there, concert, gig, mini showcse, bbq, wedding do, house warming, birthday parties, I get to attend it all!!!! And of course soon, CHRISTMAS and my Angel's 2nd birthdap party bash!! Owh yea, NEW YEAR Eve as well.. Some would cause fatiqueness, but wat the heck, I enjoy myself to the fullest and that is the most important fact after all.. Life is so beautiful.. Owh, how I love to be at home...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Welcome...

Am trying to make my blog as reader friendly as I could.. So far, this is the best I could. Will be improving on it from time to time.. An apology to everyone for the mess. Well, smthing new requires time for familiarisation. Wanna make use of this Avenue to share wat have I gone tru so far. Of coz a bit of emotional conflict, the falls and the risen of Walter. Anyway, no new entry.. Just a compilation of my past entries.. In holiday mood.. Well, have fun cherishing my inner sight...

re-represntation


Am offering u wat u may not c.. Perhaps my perspective isn’t wide enough to come up with these re-representation of life.. Just a sharing anyway. Hav fun pondering over some humble thoughts of mine..
Feeling like u r an outcast?? Have you ever asked yourself why are you being treated in such a way? Be reflective a bit.. That’s it. It is actually how u wanted others to treat u.. If people are drifting away from you, don’t be too quick to blame them. It could be YOU who actually drifted yourself away from them.
Do not count your blessing by the number of friends you have made but by the number of enemy, the hatred and anger u have reduced or minimized.
Don’t count your joy based on the times u laugh but by hw often have you make others’ life a meaningful one.
Don’t value your grief by the amounts of tears that u have shed, but by the number of hearts that you have torn apart..
The pursuit of happiness… maybe not an easy task after all.. However, ur joy would be doubled when u r able to make others’ eyes sparkle…. Trust me.. No matter how bad u feel, the moment u make one’s life better, its healing power would be undeniably miraculous..
Dont b too harsh to yourself.. Have a very open mind and heart.. U wd be promised a bountiful harvest.. Isnt life wonderful??? There is more to everything that meets the eye.. Open ur eyes wide.. Then u would see.. I hope I wdnt be blinded by my ignorance as well.. Best wishes…

I saw...


I saw him…
Motionlessly lying on the road,
Mercilessly covered with a white robe,
A departure that he would have never opt for,
There he wept unaudibly,
Soulless
Helpless
He then,
Painstakingly cried in terror,
Moving to the world of the other,
Leaving all the mourner
Dot………

it will never happen to me..


So pitiful are those…
Happy are you today
Will it be it tomorrow?
Even before you begin to grasp
Already it has happened
Now you say it is only an accident,
A concurrence, a coincidence,
or perhaps a happenstance,
You still want to be so ignorance
If not yesterday,
it could be today…
For you think
it will never happen to me
Lucky if you are right
But, you are undoubtedly wrong…

Nothing comes out of nothing


When things are too much to bear, should I merely give up or should I work harder to fulfill my dream? A dream would remain as a dream without any action.. Everything comes with a price.. And life is not easy for life is not always a bed of roses.. Work hard, work diligently and u would be promised a bountiful harvest in the end..
Why whning if we are evidently not working hard enaf to get wat we want?? As harsh as it may sound, u get wat u worked for.. I believe in will power.. I have seen it happens not miraculously but because I REALLY REALLY put my heart, my might and my soul into it.. If I really one smthing, I will make sure everything is in place while slowly achieveing watever it is that I deserved.. Nothing can stop me..
Maybe that’s y I hate it when ppl say “I cant do this (without even trying)” “I noe I hav to do this but, malasla..” U noe ur responsibility.. Do not complain or grumble then.. It is just a matter of choice.. Whether u are wise enaf to get ur ass out of ur comfort zone, or start to plan smthing for the sake of ur future, or do nothing because of ur phobia or smthing, it is entirely up to u.. And please be fair to aders by STOP COMPLAINING about how unfair the life is etc if u refuse to evolve or to push ur limit…
Rest if u must and in ur endeavour, look back whenever neccessary.. U r who u r today because of wat u have done to ur own life. Ur life is a gamble.. Be wise, be a coward or be a pessimist?? It is in ur hand… Ta…

Ignorance is a bliss??


The number of people being brutalised, mercilessly raped, murdered, terrorised, and tortured are at the alarming rate.. People are busy campaigning for Obama. Everywhere, people are busy fighting for reduction in oil price.. Millions of people are dying everyday due to fatigue, cancer, untamed diseases, road accidents, smoking, WAR and natural disaster…Every nation be it the world superpower or the third world country are greatly affected by the economic crisis..
What have u and I done?? I would have to admit, with a great shame, I practically do nothing.. Here aree my excuses..
1. I have a comfortable life
2. It does not really affect me in anyhow
3. My life is flowing with milk and honey.
4. Basically, I have everything that I could possibly dream of.
5. I have never been in such situation; fair enaf that I cant emphatize though I could only symphatize.
But, that do not make me less human.. Deep down in my heart, I really wanted to appear handy. To sprinkle others life with colours of happiness, to bring tears of laughters and make heaven a step ahead before them.. I do pray for them.. Yeah, I really do.. How else may I contribute?? My brother once said, my laughter means a world to him.. And yeah, everyone’s laughter would make me feel like in heaven..
Let’s end these miseries.. Let’s wipe out this valley of agony and grief..
But, how??

Fav and rejection

Favoured by few.. It was one of my darkest period of life. Well, ppl change and I change too..I want to make people hapi and I want them to feel warm with my presence.. However smtime, I shd be held responsible for the sudden change in ppl’s mood. My mood swing can be as bad.. I cant blame others if they cd hardly tolerate my emotional well-being. My friends told me tat I cant hide my feelig.. When I am angry, my face wd be reddish and my ears as well. When I am ashamed, my cheeks wd b blushing.. When I feel sad, i wd listen to my mp3 or keep myself a distance from aders.. And of cause, my eyes wd b teary.. And when I am happy, u wd hear me talking joyfully, tickling others and pulling others legs and sharing funny stories..
Please forgive me for being insensitive.. I noe tat I still need others. Yea, by nature, man is a social creature.. And others do need me too. But, the difference is, when I am troubled, I would prefer to be left alone, ALL BY MYSELF!! When ppl are trying to comfort me, it would make it far more unbearable.. Ironic effect isnt it? While others feel much better with wrds of comfort, I normally wdnt.
Smtimes, I need ppl to respect my privacy and my decision.. It is hard to say yes when deep inside ur heart is screaming NOOOOooo.. Then, as hesitant, unwilling and reluctant as I originally was, I have to drag my feet for an ovbious reason.. Not to hurt others feeling and not to ruin or spoil one’s day.. What about my feeling then?? Who wd be taking care of it?? Then ol I hav to do is to fake my happiness just to c others happy..
HOWEVER, smtimes, to c others happy wd indeed be an immediate remedy. I may, in the end, turn out to be happy too.. In moment like this, I desparetely need to find my happiness in others to make my reluctance turn to enthusiasm..
When I have denied smbody, it hurts me as well to c their unhappy, gloomy, puppy-like faces. I wd then end up to be angry at myself. When the guilt is overwhelming, then I would normally give in.. At the expense of my own happiness?? Stupid or thoughtful?
Every so often, when I hav no choice but to say no, well, I hope that somebody wd be respectful and understanding. But would he or she?? Ppl can’t just be satisfied at ol times.. I do experience rejection now and again. We just cant push smbd towards the edge if he or she refuses to.. There would be no point of doing so for things wdnt be as fun as it ought to be or desired..
Hmmm.. That’s it for tonight.. Strange that I didnt have a concluding paragraph s I usually did. Ta…

I found my heart at Home

My life may be dreary, may have nothing special as compared to Obama’s, Britney’s, Dato. Ct’s or perhaps U.. Well, because of what it lacks, makes it SPECIAL.. Hahaha.. I am blessed to be raised in a middle-income family.. I have a very loving father, I have an incredibly affectionate mother, I have an extremely sweet sister, I have an amazingly understanding brother, I have an unbelievably kind-hearted brother-in-law and I have a beautifully God-gift niece, my Christina Angel.. These people are those whom I cant live without.. These people are my inspiration, my motivation, my aspiration, my world and my heaven.. I find solace, comfort, joy and relief in each and everyone of them.. They make every piece of me alive.. They understand my want, my desire and always try to accommadate each of it.. They keep me breathing and keep me moving, no matter what circumstance that I have to passionately endure.. I cant be more thankful than this.. They always hold me close and surround me with their pure, untainted, wholesome love.. It is always so magical, so delightful, so thrilling and so splendid just to see their faces, to see their smiles, to hear their laughter.. Of each means a WORLD to me.. Now u understand why am I always wanted, wanting to be home.. Because, home is where I belong.. I dont have to keep on reeling with heartaches, headaches and watever sort of …aches.. At home only I may relinquish those ugly factsss of life.. Yeah, I am not denying that I have to learn to live outside my comfort zone.. And yeah, u have to agree with me that after so many months away, dealing with watever is neccesasry, u and I just need to refresh our mind. To leave the craziness aside.. To recollect urself again.. To recompose and to reflect. And when u r whole again, lets start over anew…
Who am I to my father..
His pride, his dignity
Who am I to my mother?
Her precious, priced jewel..
Who am I to my sister?
Her dear soul mate
Who am I to my brother?
His moral police, his accommodating BIG brother
Who am I to my brother-in-law?
His indulgent, compassionate buddy
Who am I to my niece, Angel?
Her Kakel, her Santa Claus..
And who are them to me??
No word can describe..
They are priceless,
Worth more than even the most impressive adjective

What have I gone through for the past 22 years..

U may feel like I am being full with self-love at the first part of this entry.. I am not trying to be boastful, big headed, arrogant or vain here… Let’s keep it at that spirit, yea.. Just to share the story of my life with you.. However, at the second part of this entry, u r welcomed to have compassion with one of the bleakest moment of my life EVER documented… I’ll try to make each episode brief..
Well, ever since I stepped into the world of Alma mater, I was always the favourite student of this teacher and that teacher.. I dont know what had they seen in me which made I a dear student to them.. Yea, I was very well-mannered but not a sort of student who loved to curry-favour.. I was the Ketua Kelas since kindergarten until Primary 6. I was as well, hand-picked by Cikgu Mong Ing Sia, our Dicipline Teacher as SUDC No.2 Head Prefect. I got to join Pidato Piala Di-Raja, poem recitation, leadership camp, story-telling competition, World Boyscout’s Day, Kuiz kesihatan and lots more.. I never missed any medal, the least, third placing..
Into my high school years, I moved to SMK Bukit Lima.. And again, I cdnt run away from Ketua Tingkatan.. Not until I was chosen as the school prefect when I was in Form 2, then I have to be replaced by a friend of mine. Form 3: Ketua Bahagian Teknikal.. Until today, I dont think I was fit for that position, simply because I have to deal with electronic gadgets which I was and still am very poor with.. I have to ensure tat our P.A. system worked well when it came to event like weekly school assembly and Cerificate and Prize Giving Ceremony.. In SMK Bukit Lima, i was given a lot of avenue to further exploit my potential and enhance my ability.. I was in the debating team and busy myself with almost every school event, outside and inside.. Representing school for various tournaments is my bread and butter.. Then, I repeat my feat when I passed with vibrant colour for PMR.. Then, my parents thought it was wise for me to leave SMK Bukit Lima and moved to SMK Chung Hua..
Again, SURPRISINGLY, I was chosen as KETUA TINGKATAN 4G.. I was nobody at tat time as compared to my other classmates who were far more qualified and smart and familiar with the school; they have been loyal to Chung HUa and remained they until their STPM. I was only a new comer and again, I was given tat opportunity ever again to be the class monitor.. Reluctantly, I acceppted the responsiblity.. Honestly, I felt intimidated to be surrounded with BRAINS, and GENIUSES of Chung Hua.. I was also the only Iban (the rest were Chinese) and Ifelt so small not until 2 Iban ladies came a bit later.. My 4G’s mates were very supportive of me. They guided me and taught me and treated me with respect.. Finally, I felt accepted (in fact, I was accepted since day one) and was very happy to be with them.. I was loved by them and of course the teacher.. Even the most feared English Teacher of Chung Hua said that she likes me because I kept my beautiful smile which makes the impossible, possible (Miss Yong, 2004).
Wong Ping Hong, my tablemate was very helpful. Trying her best to ensure tat I understand th teacher explanation ecspecially for subjects like Add Math and Physics which I was extremely poor at.. Ngu Leh Wei, Alphonsus and few others were also as handy..
Nearing the month of April, my father told me that perhaps MRSM was my next destination.. I was half-hearted. To leave Chung Hua is an option tat I wanted to possibly leave unattended.. But, I was curious with wat might MRSM hold for me… At last, I sadly and nervously nodded.. Sad because i have to leave my sweet friends and passionate teachers. I was nervous because I had made a decision to stay in a boarding school which means I would have to leave my home…
Then, my class held a surprise Majlis Perpisahan for me.. It was an emotional one and I have just realized that my 4G classmates really valued me highly.. The blackboard was wonderfully decorated.. They must have wasted a box of chalks just to show me how much I meant to them.. The food was terrific.. Wat was more, I received a very meaningful card from them which was handed to me by my penolong ketua tingkatan, Kang Chin Sia alongside with a magnificent jade horse!! I was also given a motivational book my Guru Kelas cum Chemistry teacher, Puan Tan Ai Ni.. She took the trouble to write me a ‘love letter.’ The event was also attended by the teachers who taught us and UNEXPECTEDLY, our School Principle.. Not only she attended the ceremony, BUT she was there to give an inspiring speech accompanied by some words of advise. I remembered she was saying tat it was indeed a great lost for Chung Hua.. Who was I?? I was only a student who studied in Chung Hua not more than 4-month.. I was obviously flattered and honoured.. I LOVE SMK CHUNG HUA!!!
MRSM.. Here, I expereinced a lot of life-enriching and heartbreaking memories.. And again, I dont know, for wat reason was I hand-picked by the principal to be the first Iban Ketua Lembaga Disiplin Pelajar (head prefect) merangkap Naib Timbalan I Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar.. Again, I was new, barely reaching my second month there.. I knew, and I was aware that the students who have been in MRSM for 3 years or more felt the decision made by the principal wasnt fair and very unreasonable. Well, with hesitance, I carried out my duty.. It was too much to handle for I was still trying to adapting to the hostel life..
MRSM taught me the value of frienship.. Real and true friend would stay and the otherwise wd simply walk away..
I encountered a lot of bitter-sweet incidences here.. I was yelled at, threatened, spitted at and mmmm… I better stop it at this or else the wound… hmmmm… I felt like a trash!! Too much to bear.. Well, they dont like me because I was SKEMA!! I cdnt compromise.. I wasnt flexible.. WATEVER!! Given my position, I believe u wd exercise it the way I did.. But, I have to admit it, only if I was more tolerant and wise, only this tear-jerking experience wdnt happen.. But come on, I need their guidance instead!!! I was new and I was LEARNING, OKEY!!! Shockingly, in a solemn Majlis Restu held days b4 SPM started, those who have caused me an emotional breakdown were sincerely asking for my forgiveness for watever they have done.. I felt numb, didnt know wat to do.. To forgive or to????
If u r fighting, fight with pride and righteousness. It may seem like u r at the losing end.. But, in the end, u r indeed THE MAN!!
Roddy, Alvin, Azizi, Farhan, HAteem, Jesper, Mathias, Ted, Philemon and too-many-to-be-named here were always stood by me.. U have to get through them first before u cd catch me.. And I have almost every junior’s support, I could not imagine without them, how would my life be in mRSM? I cant agree no more that it would indeed be a self-destructing experience..
I was HATED by some and LOVED and ADORED by few.. In life, you and I cant satisfy everyone. That is fact no. 1. No.2, in life, u have to be adaptable to ur new surrounding to ensure your survival. No.3, no matter how painful it is, keep an open mind that no matter how dark it is, the sun will shine tomorrow (Alvin, 2004). Fact no.4 no pain no gain.. No.5 Be thankful and appreciate wat u have. No.6 Stand up for urself with conceit. Go in the name of God and u will make it tru.. Lastly, No.7 Man is indeed a social creature. Thus, make friends not enemy..
Through mistake I learnt greatly…
Through you I walked steadily..

Adapting

A picture worth a thousand meanings. An overrated idiom.. So does words and actions.. They are all open to a thousand and one interpretation.. Ecspecially when u r living in a ‘caring’ society where everything matters; the way u walk, the way u say things, the way u eat, whom u r with, what u r wearing, ur voice so on and so forth..
So, maybe, MAYBE it is not about who u really are.. MAYBE it is all about how u bring and conduct urself in the society.. In the process, u still can be the true you.. Changing shall not be at the expense of ur own trueself or identity.. Be proud of who u r.. But BEAR in mind that LIKE IT OR NOT, “di situ bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung” or “masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang kerbau menguak.” Be moderate and humble urself. Dont be a radical because it may ridicule YOU.. DO NOT OVERREACT! Stay cool and remain calm..
U know that smthing is wrong smwhere when pairs of eyes are staring at u.. Do not simply snap and DO NOT conviniently convince ursef tat “NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME BUT THERE IS SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THEM.” But, DONT BE TOO COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SELF-ASSURANCE.. That may not always be the case.. Sometimes, u may realize it urself that u r very annoying but u REFUSE TO ADMIT THAT U R IRRITATING.. Perhaps, u just could not careless.. So, if this is the case, DO NOT GRUMBLE or WHINE or NAG when ppl around u are STARING… Take it as a ‘DESERVING CREDIT.’ U get wat u want what. So, oklah tu..
But, if ppl are laughing or smiling sheepishly or staring at u for an unknown reason, so OBVIOUSLY they are insane..
To adapt urself to ur surrounding isnt easy.. Any change for that matter wdnt b simple. So, take it easy.. Do it step by step. “Alah bisa tegal biasa.”

Cakap tak serupa bikin

I cdnt think of the closest equivalence for the title above in English.. Huhuhu.. Anyway, let it be.. I always find it funny and amusing when people started to condemn or ok.. lets make it less intense.. criticize or less intense comment on others without even looking at themselves first.. How can an individual conveniently give a very NEGATIVE and DESTRUCTIVE remark about others’ misconduct while THEY THEMSELVES ARE ACTUALLY SHARING THE SIMILAR GROUND??? Dont u find it uproarious?? I SERIOUSLY DO..
Mengata dulang paku serpih, mengata orang dia yang lebih OR kuman seberang laut nampak, kuman depan mata tak nampak OR cermin diri dulu sendiri..
So easy to anok ppl, huh?? So easy to correct others.. GEt urself FIXED first!! And only then u r QUALIFIED to be a moral police.. Otherwise, just forget it, but I noe u can’t, U just cant help but to UTTER something BAD, right?? Pity u.. hahaha
Because u do not preach what u say and undoubtedly u r not a man of ur own word, SHAME ON YOU…
People like this are so not of my league.. Shuh.. shuh main jauh2..
HATE DOUBLE STANDARD…

what u give u get back

Watever u r doing to others today, would someday be experienced by u urself.. I am a firm believer tat u wd b greatly rewarded for ur righteous or virtuous deed or act.. And when u devillishly reduce one’s happiness to rubble, BEHOLD.. One day, u wd taste ur own medicine.. Life is very fair.. It is just a matter of time.. And when the time has come, it is inevitable.. It may happen in a more excruciating way.. Too late to regret.. KARMA works.. So, be a bit more meticulous and scrupulous when dealing with people.. It is simple. BE GOOD ALL THE TIME.. It doesnt cost u a fortune to be good.. But it would cause u lifetime regret if u treat others unfairly or reprehensively.. So unfortunate that when u hurt ppl, u dont know its implication; not until the time slowly reveal what sort of punishment u do deserve.. Well, I pray that u wouldnt be punished too severely…

R u kidding??

My heart is already crying
And you said that you are only kidding??
Your words are still so jarring
The echo is still so torturing
I rather you go chanting
So that I can hold to your true meaning,
Am now holding to your own yearning,
THAT YOU ARE ONLY JOKING!

It

I rather keep it
In a place that is safe.
I will always bring it
And will only wait.
I would not ever break it
Though my heart is shred
Till my last breath
It would still be kept safe…

Commandment

Unplanned,
Not plan,
It happened…
Am saddened
And shaken.
Need to be brighten,
Don’t want to be so ignorant,
I don’t want to be hesitant,
I have to move on
Dealing with it not
when I am heartbroken..
Refuse to appear stagnant,
Though I am at the junction,
Though I am in confusion,
I need to make a firm decision.
It is my commandment.
To sail through my direction,
To reach my destination.
In succession of my enlightenment,
I can’t solely be dependent on happenstance.
I need to keep my mind opened,
To attain my perfection.

How (2)

How would then u understand?
My want is simple
My demand is nothing superfluous
Of each is manageable
You just don’t want to reciprocate
Don’t want to co-operate
You just want to be ignorant.
I want nothing else but a little respect,
I have been yearning for your understanding
I just want you to be more thoughtful,
To be more considerate
Nothing more than that
You told me that it is understood
Unfortunately you never would.
Certainly..
It seems like you will never get it.
I’m tired of talking,
Wanting to get things right
Repeating myself all over again
You know what is should
I don’t have to tell u again to make it understood

How..

How to tell the others that your patience has reached its limit?
How to tell them that they have cut you so deep?
Can’t they see the obvious?
My shuddering body,
My profusing sweat,
My escalating heartbeat,
My trembling hand,
My wavering voice,
And my strident silent.
While I am keeping mum,
I am pushing myself, exceeding my serenity.
Savouring my last bit of grit.
But I am losing my grip.
Aren’t my diluted eyes enough to tell I can’t take no more?
Aren’t my radiant, reddish cheeks enough to tell you to back off?
Aren’t my ruddy ears and flushed nose speak my crushing emotion?
How else may I tell u that I have had enough??
How else?
How else?
Please, leave me alone.
Leave me alone!
I don’t want to quarrel no more...