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Monday, March 30, 2009

A matter of time..

We are basically equal. What makes us difference is our attitude and openness. Treat others the way you wanted to be treated. Sadly, very few realized this. If you feel that disheartening words hurt, do not utter any. If you feel that your frowning friends affect your emotion negatively, do not frown too much yourself. Just simply do not do a thing that hurts you to others. And you would not be hurt the same way too. Whatever you give, you would definitely get it back! Be it sooner or later. It is just a matter of time. So, be good!

Comforting, Walter..

In this passage of life, we would never stop learning. Every chapter of our life offers different sort of adventure. From each, sometimes, I fail to comprehend why should I be tested in such a hostile way? But, ALWAYS, in the end, with a little courage and an ounch of passion and a bit of enthusiasm, I would win the battle, DEFINITELY. So, far, I am the undefeated. Throw me into whatever circumstances; I would take pride as a survival. I know I am a 'strong' guy. I have a brain that is yet to be fully utilized. Walter, you would only fall if you take others' unworthy criticsm too often and too seriously!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Alunan Gema Alam

All u have to do is to change the lyrics of any song and sing your lyrics with the original music arrangement. That's all. The lyrics must however be suitable to the theme which is 'Kesejagatan Insan Teras Kelestarian Alam.' If u r interested, the form is available with me.. Just submit the hardcopy of ur lyrics + the minus one of the song chosen. Please spread the news.. The event shall commence on Sunday, 29th March at 2pm at Auditorium Siswa.. RM100, a hamper and a cert is waiting for the champion.. Grab the chance!! It could be you, God willing!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wonderful Tonght by Eric Clapton..

I want to sing this song to my wonderful someone!!! Tapi.. sapa?? Isk3...

Its late in the evening
Shes wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make up
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight

We go a party
And everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady
Thats walking around with me
And then she asks me
Do you feel alright
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight

I feel wonderful
Because I see the love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just dont realize
How much I love you

Its time to go home now
And Ive got an aching head
So I give her the car keys
She helps me to bed
And then I tell her
As I turn out the light
I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight

Satisfied??

We would never be satisfied with just about anything, would not we? Given something more, we wanted it to be less. Given less of something, we beg for more. Why such a nature in us human??
Sometimes, I wonder how would it be like to be a cat? Or a fly? or a centipede? Or a chair? Or a tree? Would it be any difference? How to possibly satisfy our needs?
The lighter side of it is that we would witness some progress. The only drawback is that, we would be haunted with the thought that something is just never enough.
Do you remember any instance whereby you did not say a word that something is too beautiful, too ugly, too hot, too cold, too short, too fair, too tall, too silent, too talkative, too this & too that? I hardly do. Hahaha.. The fact is, we are imperfect. Maybe that explains this not-too-rare phenmenon. Since everything is imperfect, that is why we would never be satisfied.. What a hypothesis!! Chow...

A lifestyle change is all I need... But how??

Looking at myself, I find an empty soul. Nothing but emptiness. Just another man.. Merely another being. I have been looking high and low to find out what distinguishes me from the other.. The finding? Naahh.. I am actually tired of being me. It was like that yesterday. It would be like it today. And tomorrow would just remain the same. What goes around comes around. What I have given, I will get it all back.. How to amplify my life. Making it a bit richer? Not too-overly dull and so routine and mundane? Going out? Nothing much would I find. How may I contribute? Sigh.. I envy others' life for theirs are appeared to be more exciting. New day with new discovery. I feel lonely.... I am sick of feeling sick.. Tired of being tired.. Lonely for being lonely. If you wanna say that I am unappreciative, do reserve your comment to yourself. I am whining because I am in need for a more adventurous and a colourful life.. So far, my life is very stagnant. Similar occasions are repeating themselves now and again. It may provide me with different experiences.. But how much have I learnt? I believe that is the reason why I am not mentally and emotionally growing. What would it be like for the many years to come? I am hunger for something new...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Let's celebrate some more for the years, many, many years to come..


My inik's 80 + birthday.. She looks gorgeous as ever, doesn't she?


My 22nd birthday.. With inik.. Such a great pleasure to have you around on my special day


Let us celebrate the coming June, 17th for many many years to come, k!!


Though it's a bit blur, I love this photo, still!!! It reminds me that our life may fade with time and we are therefore to cherish every single moment that we have for once it passes us, the time will never come ever again. Just do not want to live a life with regret...

I just want the whole world to know that this beautiful lady is indeed the empress of my heart!! I love her so much!! Her smile is the best ever. Her words are just so soothing.. So inspiring. Making each of my day so lively.. With her presence, I feel so light. World seems to be at its eternal peace. Her cooking.. Owh.. So NYAMAI!!!! I'll see u this Gawai, inik.I am flying home!! I LOVE YOU GRANDMA!!!

Never ever ready

I received a devastating call minutes back. My grandma is unwell. She has been suffering from servical cancer for nearly a year now Going for chemo and all those tormenting, so-called-life-prolonging stuff.. Right now, what I wanted the most is to be there in Kuching, sitting next to her, holding her hand and stroking her white soft hair lovingly.
Robin is here.. Am trying to calm my nerve.. Not trying to show what is already obvious. Dear Lord, I do earnestly pray that my dearest grandma would be blessed with great health and abundant love. The greatest of each of all. Please, spare her some more time to witness my accomplishment; that she would one day, be able to come to my graduation; be able to sing her great grandchildren a lullaby; that one day I would be able to buy her gift with my own salary; that one day, we could go touring around the world. Make those days possible dear Lord. Jesus, Son of God, Mother Mary, all Angles and Saints, please protect her soul from any devillish intention. Keep her spirit warm. Make each day a wonderful one for her...
To inik, aku semampai sembiang ke uan, taja pan aku jauh ba menua orang. Nganti aku pulai...
I'll be home. Wait for me. We have stories and lots more to share.. Dear grandma, be strong. U are a fighter!!!!!!!! Goodbye is the last word that I wanna hear. Not in my lifetime..
Answer my prayer!!

PEMASRA

My stomach was growling. So went to GArden Cafe for a bite before the dinner..


I rarely like coffee.. This is one of the rare cases..


UKM - Presscott Inn, Kajang


Hmmm.. Would the dinner be satisfying?? The verdict is YESSSSSSSSS!!! The food was YUMMIELICIOUS.. The programmes however, needed to be more organized.. Anyway, good work guys!!
Never actually thought of coming to diz gathering. After a few consideration, why not?? When else shall I get to mix around with aer Sarawakians? Though I didn't actually.. Huhuhu.. Attended also by Ash, Robin, Ina, Safa, Zack, Rikky, Syahwan and Harni.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Honesty, the best policy still??

I do now believe that the truth is the hardest to find. How truthful are you? Have you always been telling the truth and nothing but the truth? I bet you hardly do.
Our insouciant disregard for honesty is really a result of our Eastern upbringing. Take this as an example. Your friend prepare you a pot of steaming chicken curry. You praised the cooking though it tasted so much like curried water. Another example. The friend who constantly hurting you, by right, should not have any room in your life and yet we brush such matter away. Telling the world that we are happy when we are not. Smiling when what we wanted the most is to curl up under the cover. For a not-too-obvious reason, we are secretly ashamed to feel the way we do. Hence, we ended up pretending that everything is just fine. White lie, huh?
We are actually living in a constant state of denial. That is the hardest fact that a number of us have chosen to ignore. Not too surprising however, the one that we lied to the most is the one that is the closest to us. All this while, we are not aware that we have been lying for a countless time. We have made a conscious effort to not telling the harsh and ill-defined fact straight to our friend's face. We just do not hold a heart strong enough to see others shedding tears for a reason that is better left unsaid. If you do practise this, do you then still believe that honesty is the best policy? (Do not lie!)
Whatever it is, I wanted to live by this policy instead. I believe everything will fall into place by itself. And that is for the time to decide.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Best Actor

I may not be good in hiding my emotion. I do find it is hard to fake A smile when I am annoyed. My paralinguistic signal would be so strong that my feeling would be expressively displayed. My outer shell would become my own traitor. I do not have to struggle to tell people that I am happy or sad or mad or contented. But, I guess I am pretty much a "good actor."
Surrounded by a community which is occupied with a thousand and one different personality, sometimes, I just have to put up an act to ensure survival. In life, we do meet people that we loathed and despised so much because of their audacity and insolence. Live with it or die without it. In such a situation, my only wise option is to put up an act very professionally.
How am I dealing with people who is full with air and arrogance? Fact no. 1 that you have to bear in mind. This type of people would never change. Fact no.2. They would only see what they wanted to see. Fact no.3. You are always wrong and he is well, always right. So, it would be useless to argue with them for they will never listen. Save you debating spirit for a better reason.
Call me a hypocrite then. But, before you jump to that unfair deduction, consider this. I have to pretend that everything is fine because I do not want to create more trouble though my inside is rotting and stuffy. I have had enough with whatever that is made available by these morons and dickheads. I am not cheating myself because I know it is at its best to avoid any form of argument. Prevention is better than cure, remember?
In fact, to smile when you are mad is the greatest feat ever. It is mind over matter. At least, I get to learn to control my temper. The most valuable lesson after all. So, I am not actually faking it. Neither am I putting up an act. I am just doing whatever it is necessary with the intention that I would wake up with a smile the next morning. It is one of the efficient means to live to tell the tale.

Drama...

Build me a shield, a sturdy safeguard that would filter any nerve-racking influence to trespass my frail system. So unfortunate however, being put in such a brainteaser constraint, sometimes, I just can't help but to have my say heard. I have been trying my very best to not allow myself to be driven emotionally and also to not be affected by my immediate surrounding. But, when people start talking and when my ears are actively listening and when my mind is aggressively judging and when the target is apparently bothersome, infuriating and maddening, I may then habitually share my superfluous opinion though in fact, I may have no single issue with that very person at all. Somehow, to a certain extent, it is dreadfully true that the person has actually caused so much chaos, commotion, fuss and headaches as well as heartaches. Thus, when my soul which is forever searching for serenity is troubled by this sickening ambiance, well, I may then utter hurtful words, laying out emotionally-provoked remark. Slowly but steadily, the temperature would increase. Aaa...Oo..oo.. High time!! I guess I better walk away. So that, I would not be involved in this trifling, little drama. I think it would be better to observe from far and be more reserved. Once uttered, you would render yourself to be quoted. The consequence would always be bad. Let me just continuously and compliantly pray for the shattered soul; that it would soon find itself peace.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Stalker.. stalker.. go away..

I am sick of this guy. Digi Monster betul.. I just do not know how he did it. He makes himself visible as long as I am outside my room within the college compound. He would try to talk to me, making himself friendly. At first, I thought all of those meetings were coincident. Since I do not want to appear rude, well, I tried to be friendly too. What freaked me the most is the way he talked to me. His eyes, his intonation... Eiiiiiiiiiii..... And let me try my very best to recall our exact latest conversation. You just do not want to know how weird our previous conversationss were. Just let me made this only one public.
I was doing my laundry when I realized he was approaching. Owh, my! Kenak mesti datang waktu tok?? Eiii.. I then rushed out from the laundry area so that I did not have to listen to his nuisance.
Monster J: Eh, Walter!! Jap jap..
Walter: Nape??
Monster: Nyanyi sambil goyang2 kepala
Walter: Awak knape? (I showed him that he DISGUSTED me EXTREMELY. But, he didn't understand the strong paralinguistic signal that I was apparently displaying)
Monster J: Bile agaknya dapat bilik Walter, yek? (What I understood from this very sentence is tat he wanted to somehow become my roomate. So damn sick!! Ada hati!!)
Walter: Lawakla awak!!!! (I said it with anger and walked away)
I heard him singing my name and laughing. Oi, are you nuts or something??? Aduhhhhhhh.. Paloi kali juak rupa tetak.. Bodo..

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Trace your footstep...

When we are away, miles and miles away from our asylum, we would soon realize what we have carelessly left unattended and taken for granted and too simply. Sometimes, we ignored the importance and after the irrelevance. We hastily choose to be ignorant. Wake up, before it is too late. Once you have lost it, it is hard to get it back. Opportunities may be handful. Do not let its very nature to keep you astray. Every single moment counts. Take a little some time to have a glance at your vicinity. If you felt incomplete and found something not there, trace your footstep on the soft sand before it is blown by the blustery weather. May God bless your soul!!

Should I stay?

When your urge is to love but you are so much driven to hate, you would feel terrifyingly helpless at its extreme. You would feel stifled. You would force to gasp over a lungful of air when there is only little left. Your prospect grows to be fuzzy & hazy. Enough said. Isn't it obvious that to hate is to hurt yourself more?
Every so often, I have made myself iniquitous by making myself to believe that friendship is the toughest to keep up with. You can't give too much. Neither can you receive too much. You can't either be moderate at all times. You shall not expect too highly as well. No matter how vigilant and heedful you are, you would somehow STILL be caught in the middle of your passage.
FRIENDS do come and go.This is indeed the most universally shared FACT which would lead me to this question. "Should I then, stay?" This horrendous piece of concern has kept my psyche occupied for the whole day long. I have been left recalculating and reevaluating my judgment. I refused to be fooled by my awe-inspiring sentiment. Remember when I said in my preceding blog entry that "this is the point of no return?" I have yet to decide.
To that particular someone... I would not deny that I am gnashing my teeth still. Yes!! I do admit that I am fuming still!! Anger aside. Let us do some rationalizing here. How could I possibly leave and end everything that we have built with tears and laughter? I can't afford to see myself demolishing the castle that we have built with wonderful dreams and thoughtful fantasies. I just can't. Can you? Owh...
I wanted you back so bad. Every single piece of you. But, do you feel the way I do? It may be easy for you. But it is nearly a matter of life and death to me. It is a really bloodcurdling and petrifying experience to hate once more when my gut is to love and to cherish and to treasure.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Counter attack (Laptop-ing)

I tot I could retain the smile for at least, a day!!!! It was not even half a day and my laptop decided to ruin my day!! Grrrrrrrr.. I had gotten everything personalized.. I spent a handsome RM119 (upgrade RAM) + RM30 (reformat). For a not-too-obvious-a-reason, I could not open my D, where all my assignments, photos, fav songs and movies were ONCE located!! I asked Robin to help out.. We were cracking our brain to find out the source of the problem but to no avail. Then, came Dylan who spent nearly 2 hours to retrieve my treasured documents and files. While Dylan was trying every posssible means to get over the problem, Ash, Alex, Ina and Safa were trying to convince me that everything would be okay again. Thanks, guys!! Everything went down the drain, expectedly. Nothing could be done.. Anyway, thanks to u Dylan. But, there was a hope still. I was thinking of consulting a 'professional.'
In no time, I was in Metro Kajang. Thanks to Robin for willingly compromising his discussion to get my laptop fixed. What I was about to be informed was expected. My D was severely damaged by an unknown virus. And yea.. My only option was to reformat my C as well as my D drive which simply meant I would LOST all of my docs and files!!!! U have noe idea how devastated I was. Adding to my misfortune, Robin and I were all soaked.. Caught in the rain on our way to UKM!! Sigh~~~ Am wondering how could Robin be so kewl still?? Thats the soul and the spirit that I needed ACTUALLY when greatly tested.. Thanks, Robin for being such a dear!!
And right at this moment, I am working from the very beginning again.. Scratching and scrapping and tracking and restructuring..

Malu!!!

I was to respond to a very motherly-nature call this morning. The fact that I was singing was alright still.Let's make the lyric known... "I want to BERAK, babe." Which was sung sensuously and REPEATEDLY in my attempt to place my key in the door knob to lock the door. You do know how fast you have to get to the washroom in such a time, ryte? And u do also understand the pain that u have to endure.. The rush, the aching stomach would result in disillusion. I ended up singing a stupid song with a stupid lyric. Loud enough that people who passed by could notice. Malu.. I felt the heat and the pang on my face.. BLUSHING!!! Hua3...

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Laptop-ing

These two or (was it three??) days, I felt crippled.. No laptop, no internet, no YM-ing, no Google-ing, no movie, no nothing!!! Woohooo.. Finally, I have gotten all tat in just a blink of an eye with a tremendous and an unbelievable improvement. My laptop has been upgraded and now working extremely well at full-force.. From 256 mb to 1.2g DDR. I have personalized all the setting tat suit my own preference. And I would say WOWWW!! Huhuhu..

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Devising an emergency plan

Knowing that this is indeed a critical moment to sit down and come out with a proper plan to not risking my tomorrow, so, I have decided to become decisive from this very second onwards. I have to SERIOUSLY get back to work. Let me keep the plan to myself first. Till then...

4 weeks before final exam...

This semester is coming to its end already. It is so damn near that it get me chickened out. I have 9 group-assignments which are left untouched still!! I have yet to do my revision. I do not bother to keep myself occupied with books. All I did was to keep on hating, disliking & criticizing my tutors, my lecturers and few other courses that I consider RUBBISH!! What good would it bring? Naa..aa.. Hmmmm.. I sound pretty bad, huh??
Please remind me once again of my very being here. I guess I have forgotten. I am enjoying my youthful moment too much, I think. Like there is no tomorrow. Doing unnecessary stuff which is not beneficial at all, hallowing in self-pity, dealing with heartaches & headaches, shopping compulsively, devising unworkable diet plan, grumbling, those are thing that I am really good at.. This semester is obviously not productive. What have I learnt? Zerro?? Eh, no.. I learnt to trust only a few and to not invest so much faith in others (again, heart matter). What is to become of me?
Or maybe that is how it works this semester. Maybe there is no other way but this. If that is it, well, I would be fluid and follow the flow. Whether or not I would reach the end triumphantly, it is yet to be known. One thing for sure, I would be doing something to have my accomplishment repeated. Let me now renew my pledge, my vow and my oath!!
Anyhow, I do not want to leave this semester with a mess. I want to leave it feeling good. All Angels and Saints, please pray for me..

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Moving on to the other chapter

Wooowooo... I wanted to close this dark chapter of my life very soon. Could not hold on it for too long. I knew deep inside, I do have some strength reserved some where. I have to rise up.
I have been tested even more greatly before. I would definitely be able to sail through this rough sea. Since my ship had capsized, by now, I have gotten my paddle ready, though I may row my boat very slowly but surely.
To Ash, Robin and Ina dear, special thank to each and every one of you for boarding with me. It is such a pleasure to have you guys around through this turbulence.. I also wish to address every too many kind soul, Nana, Hai, Dewi, Abg Hak, Zack and few others, who diligently pray for my feat and continuously keep their faith alive and flaming hot though I was at the very dead end. I am amazed with the patience and passion that you have. Very thankful for such a warm blessing.. Can't express my heartfelt gratitude better than this.
I do believe somehow in the nearest future, I would be tested again. It may be tougher. However, I know that nothing that I could not handle with you and God around. Yeah, through mistake I learnt greatly, through YOU I would walk steadily.
I pray that God would sprinkle His blessing upon you abundantly.

Spoilt morning..

I took a 0830 bus as routine this morning. The bus ride was fine. Not until I was about to make my way out as the bus was reaching Faculty of Education, something stupid happened. There was a big guy in Faculty of Engineering jacket blocking my way. He was standing right next to the bus driver, in front of the exit. I said excuse me. He did not respond. And I said excuse me for the second time, perhaps he missed the first. Still, he did not make any move. Then, I had to squeeze myself in order to step out of the bus. So unexpected that I was PRACTICALLY rolling out from the bus and lying on the sandy pavement. I hurt my back so badly and I became extremely mad. I rushed back into the bus and pushed that guy at his shoulder and yelled "Watch out, man!". He was shocked. I went out of the bus shamefully. I did not know whether I did the right thing. He did say sorry. The harm was done anyway. Reflecting on it, only if he was not there and only if I was emotionally stable, this stupid incident might not happen. Well, my emotion was already ruined. And he was 'playing' with me at the wrong time, a perfectly inappropriate timing. I hate to say this. Maybe the next time when I see him around, I would, perhaps, apologize..

Kempang ati nuan!!!

Tusah amai aku ngenang nuan,
Nadai nemu madah nama penyalah aku,
Aku tegenung, beraie, dilengka nuan pia ajak,
Uji nuan madah ke aku,
Cukup meh nuan beduan aku,
Tusah amai aku diperinsa nuan bakanyak..
Enti udah nadai jalai,
Manah agik aku nyurut ke dirik,
Taja pan pedis bejalai kedirik.
Enti pengerindu udah lenyau,
Manah tua berserara ajak...

The inevitable...

I am facing the brittle-cold reality of regret. I trust people too much, love too much and giving in too much, leaving little of each for myself. Am now wishing that I have gone with the wind. Free me, someone!! Free me from the clutter, from the running noses and the worldly demand. Set me free.
Last night was one of the darkest. My tears trickled. Where had I gone wrong? All this while, I had anchored my life on naively believing in what has that person offered me was true and yet now, I found myself slipping. I believe in it no more. My heart has hardened. My perspective becomes blurry. What I once shared with you would be a moment that will forever frozen in my memory. I feel no connectedness, only emptiness.
It is true that I am physically visible. But my soul is continents away. I may look tough and strong. But beneath where no one could see, there is something else. Something that eyes could not behold,that ears could not hear, that mind could not grasp. I had scratched and scrapped my way in the world that you have created and I am mercilessly defeated. I thought I could make it this time. But....
Before, not even the threat of death could shake my life. Now, in my voyage, I am struck and started to sink. My life is now blended with horror and tears. I am now walking away to await the inevitable.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I'm devastated...





My life is in ending...
It is a chaos..
This jerk is leaving...

Spare me peace


SPARE ME SOME PEACE PLEASE,
I HUMBLY BEG YOU,
I HAVE LOST THIS BATTLE,
LEAVE ME ALONE,
TROUBLE ME NO MORE,
PLEASE,
I DEARLY BEG YOU,
GO AWAY...
FAR FAR AWAY....
LEAVE ME IN ONE PIECE,
LET GO OF ME,
JUST LET ME GO,
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE,
IT IS UNBEARABLE,
TOO MUCH FOR ME TO TACKLE,
SPARE ME SOME MERCY,
SPARE ME SOME SYMPATHY,
YOUR HEART IS OF STEEL,
MINE IS OF A TINY CELL.
I AM BLOWN APART..

H..e..lp...

My heart aches again,
No matter how hard I try,
Not to think about it,
But I just can't,
I can't breath,
My head is spinning,
My little sanctuary is wrecked,
Invaded,
I have no where to go,
No place to hide,
It hurts so much that I would rather die,
I am now bleeding, profusely bleeding,
My world has lost its wonder,
Feeling like leaving the world.
H..el...p....
He...lpppp...

Vow Renewed



It was windy yesterday,
Too strong that I could hardly hold on,
I saw an Angel,
Flying down the street,
Bringing me to a shelter,
Singing me a lullaby,
Putting me into a deep sleep.


I woke up to a breezy morning,
I looked up at the sky,
I saw my Angel,
Smiling gleefully at me.

Today is another new day,
With a neatly folded mystery,
Only those with heart could see,
What it meant to be,
just another being,
so much like you and me.
Life may be wayward,
May be winding too,
Those with gut would make it through.

I want to have my vow renewed,
To keep my feet stalwartly on the ground.
No matter how strong the wind blows,
It would only make my heart grow stronger.






Sunken

I need a retreat...
I want to have tattoo...
I want to smoke a great cigar...
So that I would be able to let go...
I am leaving...
Am now transforming..
The wind of change is now blowing...
Tired of being myself...
Wanted to become anew..

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The reminiscene..2


A building at Padang Kota


With Miss World 2009


In the bus.. Heading 'home'...


Another snap of Robin and I


Great buddies.. Robin, Ash and I.. Thank you for making the trip a splendid one!!

OneRepublic - Apologize

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

A week without

You have been called to serve the Lord for a week now. How do you find it there, aunty? I am still very sad. I have to hide it from my friends. I do not want them to worry. I have promised you that I would be alright. I know I would. It may take quite sometimes. A week without you makes my world lost its wonder. I still remember those happy days that we once shared. But, you are now gone.. I miss you.. Owh...................
I would always spare a place for you in my heart. You are irreplaceable. You would always be remembered in my prayer.

Sedey..

Lamak dah aku mendam rasa tok..
Sik tahan gk dah,
Ko polah hari-hari yang aku lalui less exciting,
Ko rampas suma senyuman aku,
Ko rampas kebahagian aku,
Aku perlu polah something..
Maybe confrontation would not work..
Maybe blogging would not work as well..
Gneila??
Kepak dah mok kelaka..
mok mulakan yang baru..
susah nar eh..
gnei ko boleh kempang ati molah manusia yang ko anggap kawan gia??
suka ati jak ko ya datang dan pegi bila masa ko mok,
as if nothing has happened or is happening,
aku dapat lupak perkar gia ajak,
mun dah selalu gilak orang polah gia,
aku pun pandey geram juakbah..
then bila ko diam membisu seribu bahasa,
nalo pun sik, senyum pun sik, nego pun sik,
apala yang dapat aku polah??
Mun aku ngagak ko, kelak ko padah jawapan standard ko ya.
Besa jak
sekda papa
BORING dah aku..
Mun ada apa2, just padah straight to my face bah..
Setakat tok, aku terima semua kritikan and comment seadanya as long as ur claim ya berasas..
Tolongla padah ngan aku..
Tapi aku yakin yang ko sik akan padah..
Ko nang gia dari dolok..
Mala jak aku yang perlu polah first move..
and now, I have had enough of this wordly and humanly drama..
Owryte friend..
Let I make it easy for you & me..
Let's end everything that we have shared..
There is no use to leave me puzzled..
I have been waiting for your positive reply
but you have made it obvious that I mean NOTHING to you..
You own a place no more in my heart...
Kecewa abis aku ngan sikap ko ya...
Just let me go...
Do not trouble me anymore...
My life is too precious to be wasted thinking about you...
I am so tired...
You suffocate me...
This time,
IT IS A POINT OF NO RETURN!!!

-The End-




Just Another Thing

Who am I really to you?
Just a tissue paper to wipe your ass?
Just a pen to express your hurtful feelings?
Just a mp3 player to soothe your overwhelming feeling?
Just a droplet of water to satisfy our thirst?
I am just another thing to get you through, am I not?

PPD, BBQ Chicken Fish Spa!!

Geli yang tak terkata!!!!

Having a really great time here at Fish Spa, Metro Point

Bunch of thanks, sayangku...

Great place, great companions...

Obviously smoother after 30-minute being 'eaten alive'.. hahaha

We did not even actually plan to go here. It was an emergency plan because we need to rush to get our approval letter from PPD and it was raining really heavily.. So, calling a taxi would risk us to reach the office late. Then, I thought that Deah would be happy to help. I made a call, few calls.. But she didn't pick up. I tried Deal. Luckily she answered and I got to talk to Deah and maluly asked for help to drive us to PPD.. She said YES without any hesitation!!! Thanks, sayangku. The approval letter was finally available!!!
To show how much we appeciated her kind spirit and soul and mind, we brought her for a yummie dinner at BBQ Chicken. Glad that she enjoyed her meal. Then, she suggested a Fish Spa treat. Well, ok je.. Only RM10 for 30-minute. At first we felt uncomfortable. We soon enjoyed it very much.. So likely that we would go there again in the nearest future. Wah.. One fantastic evening..



The reminiscene..


The mixture of fried food fo pasembur.. piling up..


Ready to be served... It is RM15..

Our last destination.. Penang Esplanade or Padang Kota..

Pulau Mutiara

I spent my entire weekend in Pulau Mutiara with my 2 dear buddies, Ash and Robin with 30 + others. It was an educational trip which would assist us with our Kampus Lestari Project. A meeting or two had been arranged so that we could have a fruitful dialogue with the students or lecturers of USM.
I was excited since it was my first visit to Penang. Could no wait to take a bus ride on the renowned Pulau Pinang Bridge, the longest in South East Asia. So unfortunate that the ride was not that fun because of the congestion. Hmmm..
After a solid 7-hour journey, we finally reached USM, claimed as the most beautful university in Malaysia.. REALLY?? How and why? I wonder!! Errr.. Sori.. Anyway, glad that we were very much welcomed by the lecturer, the staffs and the students. They were very friendly though we kept their weekend busy and occupied.
With growling stomach (we have not taken our lunch yet. So good that USM people were very thoughtful that we were served with delicious meehoon and fried chicken at the end of the 2-hour talk), we were directed to Dewan Persidangan for a talk on Kampus Lestari. To those whom are not familliar, Kampus Lestari is a project to make our environment in general and our college specifically more liveable, stress free and healthy. The talk was informative. And somethinf funny happened.
There was an informal Q&A sessions throughout this Dr. somebody's presentation which I brilliantly answered. The first two have answered creatively and were given a sort of an eco-friendly bag each. And there was a bag left. He posted another question and I cleverly answered. He somehow accepted my reponse and said that I deserved that last bag. I was given an applaud and walked confidently to the front. And with such a pride, I reached out for the bag.. Suddenly, I heard laughters and giggles.. Ooopssss.. What happened? I have taken the wrong bag. It was his that I took.. Owh my!!!!!!!! Shoot man!!! I smiled sheepishly and said, "I wanted two bags actually, for my friend." Stupid! The bags were very similar. In fact they were the same bags. The only difference was that one was his with his stuffs insde and the other one was a folded empty bag.. Enough with this treasured moment..
Okay.. We went to these places: Batu Ferringhi, Padang Kota or Penang Esplanade and the market. Nice places to go. I got to see Komtar, Queensbay Mall, Gurney Road and other few from inside the bus due to the time constraint.
I was a bit upset because we could not make it to Bukit Bendera. Cable car rosak la, traffic jam la and some other made-up reasons. This is one of my best reasons to not enjoy this trip. I mean any other group trip. I could not move in my own pace. I could not go to the place that I wanted to. I have to struggle to be amused and fascinated when in fact I did not enjoy being at the place. I have to drag my feet and put up an act; to fabricate I-love-to-be-here expression. Everything is controlled. Lots of do's and don'ts.
Owh ya.. I thought I have lost my Sony bluetooth headset too. I searched for it high and low and it was no where to be found. I felt so bad because it wasn't a RM1 or RM2 gadget. How could I possibly lost it? I was so damn careless which made I felt even more terrible. Somehow, I accidentally found it and hahahahahaha.....
I tried pesembur and char kuey teow. Surprisingly, I wasn't at all impressed. I don't really like the gravy of my pesembur and the price was owh my... (telan liur lok) very expensive.. The same goes to Penang's pride, char kuey teow.. TWO THUMBS DOWN!! Something wrong with their taste bud I guess.. At least, I have tried those..
Overall, it was indeed a trip to remember, a journey in which I learnt quite a number of thing. Maybe I'll post a new entry to share with you what have I learnt, MAYBE.. Owryte.. That's it for now.. Adios..

A ship without a captain...

Hmmm.. Pardon me "SIR,"(I practically read it out loud with the most sadist sarcastic intonation that I could) but I just have to write... This very dear smone of us needs a *^%^*!! He really pissed me off this time. If you refuse to teach us, just DO NOT EVEN NOD YOUR HEAD at the first place for the pay that you are now receiving is HARAM!! You come in late! You merely place us as the others; so insigificant that you could afford to keep on resheduling your tutorial slots. Hey!! Please show us that you are committed. Eh, what is the point of attending the damn tutorial when in fact we gain nothing from you?? ZERRO!!! How I wish that I could bring up this matter to the coordinator? I really wanted to but I feared that I would risk myself failing in this course.
What has actually happened today? Let me unveil to you how irresponsible he is..
1. He said the tutorial would start at 2 p.m. We were then told that he would only be around at 3 p.m.
2. It was 3 p.m alreaady. Where was he?? Still no where to be found..
3. Only after 15 minutes after 3, after a tormenting 1 1/4 hours of waiting, he then entered the class without even APOLOGIZING and reasoned his lateness.
4. Well, we started to present our poster. Then everyone's attention started to divert, not so much because of the presenters but because of HIM.. He hardly listen nor concentrate on our poster presentations. All throughout the presentations, he was busying himself with his damn handphone, sms-ing and calling.. It would be funny and hilarious if he asked us to keep mum and focus while he himself DID NOT!!! Luckily, he didn't.. WTF!! What happened to our mark, I wonder (though he told us that everybody passes).
5. When he was about to call it a day, he told us that everyone has to come up to present. Please take note that he did not even care to have us notified before we began presenting. And he would also somehow penalised those who did not present!! Durj@#$$ F^%& YOU!! He should have mentioned his marking criterion at the very first place. For some lecturers, they do not even mind if one represented his entire group though it is said that the presentation would be evaluated too!! So, please justify, MIND YOU!!! This is insane!! This is unfair.. Would this be heard?? No.. For he refused to tolerate and compromise!! FINE!!!!!!!!!! Pity are those who have to be the victim of his intolerance.
6. He offered us no guidance at all. He is always out of reach. He told us to reach him through email but some did not even get his reply. And he said that he could not open 2007 doc. What about mine?? I sent him my poster and my slide show presentation as well in 2003 doc. Why didn't he reply then??
Literature was fun and no longer is now and the reason being is that, he has killed all the passion that I once have..
So, reflecting on the title, would the ship that we are now boarding on would capsize and sink? Do not even give it a chance. Let the co-pilot and the cabin crews take charge and we would reach the harbour safe and sound..