Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I am currently addicted to...

In love with its energy and rhythm...

"Hit You With The Real Thing"
by Westlife

It's 99 degrees and the temperature is creeping up
I felt your foundation vibrate, a mountain might erupt
I've almost got you there so let me take you all the way
A taste to stimulate and keep you hot like

What (take it till you're high and low)
Like how (system overload)
Like who (sure you wanna rock the boat)
And hit you with the real thing

What (rock you from the left to right)
Like how (electro paradise)
Like who (give you all the up you like)
And hit you with the real thing

Taste the divinity and mysteries surrounding you
Erotic stereo it's in the bass and trebble too
Throw both your hands above your head and let them levitate
And be hypnotic and the trip won't stop

Like what (take it till you're high and low)
Like how (system overload)
Like who (sure you wanna rock the boat)
And hit you with the real thing

What (rock you from the left to right)
Like how (electro paradise)
Like who (give you all the up you like)
And hit you with the real thing

Feed you more than enough
Ecstasy till you're insane
Hot adrenaline rush
Feel it running through your veins
And hit you with the real thing

(bring it till you're high and low)
(system overload)

I'm gonna show you how I'm rocking the boat
(rock you from the left to right)
(electro paradise)
I'm gonna hit you with the real thing

It's 99 degrees and the temperature is creeping up
I felt your foundation vibrate, a mountain might erupt
Throw both your hands above your head and let them levitate
And be hypnotic and the trip won't stop


Like what (take it till you're high and low)
Like how (system overload)
Like who (sure you wanna rock the boat)
And hit you with the real thing

What (rock you from the left to right)
Like how (electro paradise)
Like who (give you all the up you like)
And hit you with the real thing


Like what (take it till you're high and low)
Like how (system overload)
Like who (sure you wanna rock the boat)
And hit you with the real thing

What (rock you from the left to right)
Like how (electro paradise)
Like who (give you all the up you like)
And hit you with the real thing

Good boys go to heaven....

Life could never be fair, couldn't it? As it is so far, it has been treating me so unjustly... Let I talk about my little experience being a college student and now an undergraduate in UKM. At this very instant, I feel so demotivated and discouraged to continue learning. My thirst for knowledge is not as overwhelming as it was ONCE UPON A TIME..
I have done so much and yet, I get not as much in return. While others got their work done simply, I worked on my stuff with my heart. Wait, before you quoted me wrongly, let me make it clear here. I am not pouring my heart because of the low mark that I got whatsoever. Neither this is said out of sheer jealousy. No... Nothing close to that even... I am not questioning the end product, but the rules or process that one needs to ACTUALLY FAITHFULLY abide by in which some have been violated but no necessary action is taken accordingly to what is CLEARLY stated. That upsets me A HELL LOT!!! I have few evidences with me but not worth mentioning here.
As what I have made obvious earlier on, my frustration is only due to this; I fulfill every of the requirement and yet some others who hardly follow any were awarded far better or graded similarly like mine.. You tell me how could that be fair!
Perhaps, this saying bears a lot of hurtful truth. Bad boys have all the fun!

Tribute to my late grandma..

I was shocked when I learnt that my grandmother had cervical cancer. "Aiya, nothing much laa.. I am getting better," she declared. "You don't have to come to visit me and call me that often, ok. It would be costly. Save it for a better purpose." I could still possibly listen to her reaassuring words audibly. Each echoes vividly.
However, the chemotheraphy had taken its toil. She looked frail and worn. Still, she chirpily mentioned how she lovingly spent her time looking after her young grandchildren. Even in her critical condition, she was doing what she did best - NURSING!
She gave no hint of pain. But I knew and God knew that the pain was definitely there...
I thought she would be there for my convocation thanksgiving dinner. I thought she would be there to witness his beloved grandson tying a knot with his other half, to be there to witness that blessed matrimony.... I thought I would be able to buy her some kain.. To spend some of my first salary taking her out for a vacation... To be there to.... Inik, I miss you...

Thank you to LITTLE few who really meant to help..

There were times when I felt that I could not make it when things were so bleak that all I could do was shutting my eyes and wrapping my hands around my legs as I curled up in one corner of my bed.
In such a trying time, I need someone worthy of a saint to help me through my ordeal. I need someone who would be lending me a helping hand sincerely. Who later would not take me as a burden. Who would not count on every little sweat, every little penny, every little second that they have to sacrifice while attempting to help me out.
Luckily, I have found two or three friends who are willing to walk through shine and rain with me without asking for anything in return. I would love to let you know how grateful I am to have you around me.
The rest, hmmmm.... As much they volunteer to help at first, they would be as calculative in the end. (Like I asked for your LITTLE help in the first place?) Adding to this little insult, they would be proud to be among the first to let others informed of how incompetent I am... How helpless I am... How fragile I am... Thank you, anyway...
Anyway, I dearly wish that one day, I shall hear no word of grumble from my mouth and no outpouring of unneccessary worries. And in managing myinner conflict, I pray that I would be wiser...

Monday, July 27, 2009

At bliss again

Robin told me that he hasn't been seeing me this happy for quite a while.. Really? I thought I was in an O.K. mood for the passed few days. Mmmm.. Except for that one day or was it two? Hahaha.. I choose not to remember those bad dayzz... Something that makes my heart pounding gaily is when my sister told me that Cheryl and her will be home today!! Yippie!! After spending nearly 2 months in the hospital, it is just about time to leave the COLD place. Let them feel the warmth of HOME!
Secondly, ahakz... remember about the bad choice that I have made in my previous entry? Now, I have gotten it replaced with something else which I am in love with now!!!!!! Hoooyeaaaaaahhhhh!!! Only if I knew that I have my parents blessings with me, I would have gotten it changed IMMEDIATELY upon PURCHASE! LOL.. that is what we call stupid Walter.. Who asked you to buy smthing that u dont like? (How wd I know that I would turn out to not liking it, ma?) Anyway, I have what I DESIRE for now. That matters the most!! We make mistakes dont we?
I thought this joyful series would end. Not quite yet!!! DURIAN!!!! I ate some just now.. So fleshy.. so yellowish... Yesssss.. YEa.. I am talking about high-qual durian!!!!! So divine.. So tasty!! Fit for the king! O... I dont want to end this day... Hopefully, tomorrow would be the same.. Owh, definitely it would. I will be attending a belated 23rd birthday dinner!!!! Yahuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009


I must be missing those days when I got to go anywhere without so much trouble at anytime, any pace, whereever I like with just a reasonably RM10 per week for the fuel on my rented scooter. Now, I have a slight problem readjusting myself to my routine which I have left for nearly 2 months. Everywhere I go, I need to consider waiting for the bus or walking would be another only choice I have. At one time, I regretted my decision of not buying a motorbike when I was actually being offered one by my lovely parents. Giving it a second thought, I would have probably made a so-called wise decision because owning one would make my life a bit too cozy and costly. well, I shall bid my comfortable life farewell... No more motorbike and not used to it quite yet.. Old routine again... Ua... And yea.. Harni, thanks for the accommodating excellent service! Might be renting out your scooter again..

Careful with your words

I want to be a wise person, an unassuming being who walk lowly. I want to be more reserved. I have been criticizing others so openly and this is the time to reevaluate my judgement. I am in need to remind myself to look at my entire self closely and critically before I begin to say anything about others. I do not want to bear the consequences of being the epitome of self-contradicting exemplery example.
Lately, I realized how much I hate and despise a person who knows to only talk about others' weaknesses and does nothing to improve oneself. Even worse, this very person appears to be so good in commenting others but looking at this person wholly, every word that is uttered bears hardly any significant or little truth.
God Lord, how I wish that this person would know that whatever is said only did the person being talked about so little damage than the damage that it is done to his/her already tarnished image?

Too free

I was overly excited at first to get my lecture schedule arranged in a way that I would be granted a lot of freetime. And now, it is! I only have to go to either FPEND or FPBL or FSSK on Tuesday and Thursday for lectures. The rest of the day, I am unoccupied.. Would it do me good?
As the time goes, I do not enjoy my freetime as much as I thought I would. I do not know how else to make my time a worthy seconds.. Instead, I waste more money because I tend to go out more. See.. everyhting is wasted!!! Wasted and wasted!!!! I am so unproductive as it is now. Sigh..

Anxiety attack

I have not been dropping a word or two for really quite sometimes I suppossed. Have a lot of things in mind, really u noe but can hardly have it penned here fo a reason that I better keep to myself.
I can be easily infuriated by a trivial irritant. I guess I must be misssing home now. To be with my mum, my dad, my darling Angel and Cheryl, my sis, Ad and Babun would be divine. My dear friend Robin told me everybody does and he optimistically advised me to be strong. Thanks, Bin. But, it is the matter of the heart. Sometimes, when your heart is yearning for something that you cant grab, your wisdom and sense would be blatantly vanished.
I am conflicting with myself over few interpersonal matters; some of which had denied my self-agency to prosper. I have forgotten the last moment I became the victim of self-defeat.
Last night was a terrible one. I don't have the gut to even say a word to something that was against my will. I was only manage to keep it to myself and the least to share it with a friend. I hate myself for doing what I did. All this while, I have been the one who convinces other to stand for themselves and ashamedly, I did the otherwise. The frustration grows much more intense as I have been keeping my aggravation for soooooooo long already. I have no idea where did I learn to be this patient?! Is that the patience I have or am I just a fool? People say it is always best to strike the iron while it is still flaming hot. If I did as the saying says, would it help to solve the problem once and for all?
And for the very first time in my life I regretted buying something that I thought I would love having. And I have invested a handsome amount of money for this love-turn-hatred stuff!! It does not only involved my priceless $$$ but I have to let go one of my dearest collection too! I have to surrender my 'first love' in order to have something that I thought would be a better catch. I have made such a big mistake. Can I undo all this? Of course I could but it would involve another sum of RM again!
Last night was the third night I had to go to bed on pill (Priton). I could not sleep and I could not afford to let my mind wander so freely that I might as well end up crazy! Gosh...

Cheryl Update..

She is now 1.85kg... Love you baby...

Yasmin Ahmad....

I woke up this morning to only read about the dead of Yasmin Ahmad. She is indeed one of the best film director ever in Malaysia. I love her movies.. Sepet, Gubra, Muallaf, Talentime.. And now, she is gone. Her death is a blow to us all who cherished honesty to hypocricy, treasured love to hatred and celebrated unity to segregation.
My deepest condolence and sympathy to her family..

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mummy, I love you

Let my tender hand wipe your sweat away,
Let my soft words bring you joy,
Let my presence enlighten your winding path,
Let your every second becomes your celebrated moment!

I want to make you happy,
The happiest mother in the world,
I want to make you proud of me,
The pride that every mother desired for,

I love you..
Dearly and eternally.
Let us make tomorrow and the day after
And instant that is filled with richness of devotion.

I'll come home one day,
Let us embrace each other in our very old-fashioned way,
Sealed with true affection
Mummy, I LOVE YOU!!!

To my Aba Piput, with love!

I raised my voice,
At my aba one day,
Because I want him to understand,
What he may unintentionally overlooked
Inadvertently disregard

And now,
I regretted what I did,
You do know that I did not mean to be rude,
I did not mean to be harsh
I did not mean to be direspectful
I did not mean to be spiteful
I want to make things correct

You came to my room the morning after,
Very apologetic,
Earnestly saying "Sorry, Pan!"
I responded with a nod and a smile,
"Aba, forgive me for my trespass too!!"
Sob, sob...
A heart of a father
And a heart of a son

He then said,
"Let's go shopping."
I jumped from my bed with pleasure
Thanks, God!
It's over
We understand each other better now.

For the intense passion that our hearts are chained,
No word, no deed may severe the link that forever be strong,
Stronger than it was yesterday and it is today.


Gosh.. I have been experiencing few sleepless night from the moment I came back here (UKM) from a too-short holiday back home. I thought I was suffering from imsomnia. No.. I am not. Being away from home for nearly 6 years does not cure my homesickness at all. Errr.. To be exact, I have been leaving my comfort zone for nearly 8 years... How would I be ever to redeem every single second that I spent beyond home? 2 years in MRSM, 4 years in IPBL and now another 2 years in UKM is a journey of prime of life.
I miss the comfort of my room. The pillow, the bed, my bolster and of course the newly-installed air-cond (my 23rd birthday gift + cash, hehehe). I miss everything at home. Not to mention my lovely family that blanketed me with endless passion. I never like the idea of being away from home. Unlike my other buddies, they find their solace in the alien world in which I find unexciting at all.
Even if I have only 5-day break, I will grab that golden chance to fly home regardless the asphyxiating price of the air-ticket. Maybe some would argue that holiday is the time to explore the other part of the world. Indeed it is. An ironic here is that, I am the one who savour travelling. I love to go to new places. In fact that is one of my greatest craze. However, I can never discard the thought of being home.
I would also make sure that I have bought everyone a small token. I would be debating with my inner-self. What should I get for my mummy, my aba, Ad, Angel, Babun, Ida, Angel and now Ann. It is my immense delight to see their sparkiling faces upon receiving my little souvenier which I wrapped with tender thought.
At home, I'll try my very best to lessen the burden of mother who is the caretaker of the house. Since my sister is in the hospital still with her baby Ann, MY MUMMY has to RUN the household chores all by herself. Of course, my father and Ad would help but my mum would work extra harder, in fact the hardEST to ensure that everything is in place. Can you imagine that she has to wake up as early as 5 in the morning to sweep & mop the floor, to do the laundry, to cook the breakfast as well as the lunch and to do the dishes? Besides, she has to care of Angel. Later, she has to rush for work. And upon reaching home, she has to fold the clothes. And she is now nearly half a century old. I adore every bit of the energy that she has in store. If I am around, at least I would not allow her to do anything but to enjoy her ready breakfast and to come home from work enjoying the show on TV.
I would also love to help my father with the house maintenance. To help him with the ironing. To help Ad with Angel. So that they may find ease at home after the hectic days in the office. I normally am the driver; sending to and picking people up from work with Angel as my co-driver. I guess now you know why it is important for me to be home.
Maybe some guys out there would sneer at me. He DOES the GURL's work! WHATEVER!! Come on, guys. If you do have that set of mentality, SHAME on you. Be merciful, ok. Mopping the floor, sweeping, dusting, wiping the window, preparing the meal, cleaning the drain, weeding, ironing, tidying the room up and cleaning the dishes are just few ways to express your gratitude to your parents. They have been working so hard to make sure that you are whom you are today! I hate it when some of my guy friends treat heir house like a hotel. Malula, oi! I did all of the household chores and I never grumble. What to grumble about anyway? If my mun and my aba could, why couldn't I?
I have an abondoned project last holiday. Going to get it done this comin' Raya break. I painted my sister's bedroom already. I get the wooden floor upstairs and the staircase varnished as well. Another one which is not done is the main gate. Will get it and the grill repainted with a more brilliant colour. My pending and waiting work.. huhuhu

Saturday, July 11, 2009

So, you think that you are always right?

It amazed me to find out that they are people out there who think that they are always right. The funniest part is, they can never be certain of what they think. Ask them a question as simple as "How do u noe?" Or maybe "How sure are you about that?" Or maybe "What prove do you have?" They would ridiculously answer "I just know."

They can only feel what they want to feel and see what they want to see. Such a pitiable creature. (Smirk) Come on! Wake up! It would not hurt your integrity to admit that you are wrong sometimes. Hey, you are a human being!! The sooner you realized the art of admitting your mistake, the more respect would you garner. Otherwise, you would remain a fool. And how pitiful is that? Chau...

Thats her, Cheryline Ann.. Miraculous!!

The pictures tell it all!!

Christina Angel sweetie, u better bahve now.... U have a youner sister oredi.. Huhuhu

Cherylline Ann

My little darling!!! She is now 1.33 kg. In the incubator still not until she reaches 1.8kg or more. Uncle will be home, dear! Soon!! To be with you and Angel.


Stop crossing my way,
Stop ruining my day,
Stop hurting my spirit.
Set me free.

You are not going to stop, aren't you?
I will not allow you to claim your triumph
Forcing me to the ground
Not now,
Not later,
I am keeping my smile forever.

Go away,
Continents away,
I want to keep laughing evermore.

Don't you stare,
Don't you sneer,
I will lead my way
And you may share my joy.

This is my song

This song that I dance,
Replenishes my abundant heart with bliss
Ampliies my whim
Magnifies my ecstacy
So heavenly it feels
Dancing to my song.

Do not stop me from my dance
Do not stop my melody
Let the beat resonates rhythmically
Let it be heard
Let my body sways with its enchanting harmony
Let my music mends my crestfallen psyche
Let my raptured build frantically moving to my music
Let my feet decide what shall my next step be
Just keep the tune of my electricity echoes
Till I can dance no more.

This is my song
Composed with my destined victory
I know my song more than you do,
Its tempo, its pauses, its bridges...
Let me dance to it
Give me a chance to experience its magic
Don't you ever mess around with it.

Tested by comparison...

I could not believe that next week would be the last week of my topsy-turvy teaching practice. LEt me recalculate. Duhh, it's true. I am about to walk away with mixed feelings. This one historic voyage of my life would retain its significance as one of the most remarkable one. The whole journey was like the earth spinning to die, slowly and elegantly. Lots of bitter sweet memory that one day I shall miss.
Hmmmm... What has SM Teknik Kajang taught me? The merriment of a life of being a TEACHER, the despiteful state of not being able to inspire, the friendship that is built with endless possibilities and the dazzling smile that radiates for I have made a little few to open their eyes wide enough to see the world, what is ahead of them.
No matter how bad the situation could be, seeing one or two eager faces to break their limit and their ability to their edge would keep me moving. Change is the one thing that is indeed difficult to make and to be accepted is another different story altogether. This has tested my endurance at its extreme limit.
Sometimes, my eyes go teary. When my students lovingly kiss my hand and meaningfully utter their words of gratitude, those are the moments that touched my heart passionately. I may see the enthusiasm to go further flaming riotiously. I often seceretively whisper to their hearts that nothing could stop them to be somebody they always dream of.
Uhuh.. The teachers, Kak Aina, Kak Aiza,Kak Wan, Kak Mirza, Kak Farid, Kak Pirzin, Kak Odah and so many others are my joygiver. They love to share their valuale experience and insightful view which make my days in Teknik Kajang more bearable. Owh ya, you must be wondering, what happened to the rest of the male teachers? They are around and of course as helpful as their other female counterpart. Since I am teaching English, so, I am placed in the staff room that is overflooded with the females. The male would be in another deparment because they are teaching the technical and vocational subjects.
I have lots more to write here. But I guess tis would be sufficient for the meantime. So owryte. Chau..

Bit and pieces...

We always want everything to go with our way. To be tailored to perfection. Little have we realized that we have been asking too much from something which may offer you too little a thing. To enjoy a life is to cherish every bit and every piece of everything. Our endeavour would be more meaningful if we allow ourself to try it all.
I am actually sicked with those who say you cannot take this because it is not good for you. Or maybe someone says dont take that. My MOM says it is not good. My nenek says this and my datuk says that. Then, it is not good for you to have that. Oit!!!!! To be too overly precautious would only limit your boundary.
I am a firm believer that everything that is around us possesses both good and bad qualities. Take drinking wine as an example. A sip or two would magnify our impluses. Too much of it would result in intoxication. So does seafood for instant. Too much of seafood may lead you to cholesterol-related diseases. Sufficient intake would supply us with rich iodine. See?
Again, it is a matter of choice. As long as that make you happy and healthy, go ahead..

Monday, July 6, 2009

When mine is yours

Needless to say,
When mine is yours,
I can only stare,
Conquering my nerve,
To not erupt,
When everything mine is yours,
The boundary is crossed...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My first Dato Siti Nurhaliza's LIVE COnCERT experience ever!!!

I am proud of her! I really do.. I spent ONLY RM67 for a seat which worth every single cent!

Dato Ct was about to leave already. And it was nearly 1 in the morning.. She was very friendly still!! The DIVA who is damn humble!! Extremely soft spoken.. Owhhhh..

Her Concert was a magic!! She sang more than 30 songs BRILLIANTLY!!! It was just like listening to her cd.. PERFECT!!

The pictures tell it all.. Was breathless.. Was thrilled!!! Who says you can't dream? Mine is FULFILLED!!!

And between, THANK YOU ASHAIRI for making this a reality!!