I have not been dropping a word or two for really quite sometimes I suppossed. Have a lot of things in mind, really u noe but can hardly have it penned here fo a reason that I better keep to myself.
I can be easily infuriated by a trivial irritant. I guess I must be misssing home now. To be with my mum, my dad, my darling Angel and Cheryl, my sis, Ad and Babun would be divine. My dear friend Robin told me everybody does and he optimistically advised me to be strong. Thanks, Bin. But, it is the matter of the heart. Sometimes, when your heart is yearning for something that you cant grab, your wisdom and sense would be blatantly vanished.
I am conflicting with myself over few interpersonal matters; some of which had denied my self-agency to prosper. I have forgotten the last moment I became the victim of self-defeat.
Last night was a terrible one. I don't have the gut to even say a word to something that was against my will. I was only manage to keep it to myself and the least to share it with a friend. I hate myself for doing what I did. All this while, I have been the one who convinces other to stand for themselves and ashamedly, I did the otherwise. The frustration grows much more intense as I have been keeping my aggravation for soooooooo long already. I have no idea where did I learn to be this patient?! Is that the patience I have or am I just a fool? People say it is always best to strike the iron while it is still flaming hot. If I did as the saying says, would it help to solve the problem once and for all?
And for the very first time in my life I regretted buying something that I thought I would love having. And I have invested a handsome amount of money for this love-turn-hatred stuff!! It does not only involved my priceless $$$ but I have to let go one of my dearest collection too! I have to surrender my 'first love' in order to have something that I thought would be a better catch. I have made such a big mistake. Can I undo all this? Of course I could but it would involve another sum of RM again!
Last night was the third night I had to go to bed on pill (Priton). I could not sleep and I could not afford to let my mind wander so freely that I might as well end up crazy! Gosh...
I can be easily infuriated by a trivial irritant. I guess I must be misssing home now. To be with my mum, my dad, my darling Angel and Cheryl, my sis, Ad and Babun would be divine. My dear friend Robin told me everybody does and he optimistically advised me to be strong. Thanks, Bin. But, it is the matter of the heart. Sometimes, when your heart is yearning for something that you cant grab, your wisdom and sense would be blatantly vanished.
I am conflicting with myself over few interpersonal matters; some of which had denied my self-agency to prosper. I have forgotten the last moment I became the victim of self-defeat.
Last night was a terrible one. I don't have the gut to even say a word to something that was against my will. I was only manage to keep it to myself and the least to share it with a friend. I hate myself for doing what I did. All this while, I have been the one who convinces other to stand for themselves and ashamedly, I did the otherwise. The frustration grows much more intense as I have been keeping my aggravation for soooooooo long already. I have no idea where did I learn to be this patient?! Is that the patience I have or am I just a fool? People say it is always best to strike the iron while it is still flaming hot. If I did as the saying says, would it help to solve the problem once and for all?
And for the very first time in my life I regretted buying something that I thought I would love having. And I have invested a handsome amount of money for this love-turn-hatred stuff!! It does not only involved my priceless $$$ but I have to let go one of my dearest collection too! I have to surrender my 'first love' in order to have something that I thought would be a better catch. I have made such a big mistake. Can I undo all this? Of course I could but it would involve another sum of RM again!
Last night was the third night I had to go to bed on pill (Priton). I could not sleep and I could not afford to let my mind wander so freely that I might as well end up crazy! Gosh...
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