I do at times think that I am living in the flight of my imagination, breathing in a world of fantasy, keeping on building my dreamt castle in the sky; shamelessly admitting that I am well-taken care of by someone who I think really would. In the end, when the realization comes knocking on my forehead, I felt cheated for it appeared to be not true.
Does this question really matter when everyone is happy when I am around? Why do I even ask this stupid-ass question? Perhaps because of the insecurity issue. Hmmm... How can I ever know that I am important to one's life? Does standing by my sides for every split second indicates that someone really cares? Would it make any difference if I am not around or would it not? Were they just merely saying the words or simply fulfilling their humanly responsibilities?
Or am I just another foolish brat who wishfully thinks that others would be bothering so much of their priceless time to spare some thoughts for me? I just don't know. Whatever the truth is, to think that I am placed highly by the others is like you, lighting a candle in the rough night when the unforgiving storm ravages my outer shield. So that I know that in a hard time, I would have someone to turn to.
Well, out of curiousity, when I find that I am treated differently, I tend to ask myself, who am I really to you which makes me wonder whether there is anyone out there who would take a real trouble just to see me smiling... I know somebody would (hopefully). You know that you are the one! But, are you really, really the one?
Maybe this is just another unnecessary, self-humiliating demand. Maybe I am asking too much. Maybe I am behaving like a 4-year old kid... Maybe... But, what if what I am now feeling is true? I think it would hurt me terribly if it is indeed the truth.
Perhaps, it would do me good to leave this question unattended. I do not want to be emotionally burdened again. But, I want this to echo in your mind forever. Be honest to yourself. If you are just putting up a show, I beg you! Please let go of me if all this while, your are just faking it...
Does this question really matter when everyone is happy when I am around? Why do I even ask this stupid-ass question? Perhaps because of the insecurity issue. Hmmm... How can I ever know that I am important to one's life? Does standing by my sides for every split second indicates that someone really cares? Would it make any difference if I am not around or would it not? Were they just merely saying the words or simply fulfilling their humanly responsibilities?
Or am I just another foolish brat who wishfully thinks that others would be bothering so much of their priceless time to spare some thoughts for me? I just don't know. Whatever the truth is, to think that I am placed highly by the others is like you, lighting a candle in the rough night when the unforgiving storm ravages my outer shield. So that I know that in a hard time, I would have someone to turn to.
Well, out of curiousity, when I find that I am treated differently, I tend to ask myself, who am I really to you which makes me wonder whether there is anyone out there who would take a real trouble just to see me smiling... I know somebody would (hopefully). You know that you are the one! But, are you really, really the one?
Maybe this is just another unnecessary, self-humiliating demand. Maybe I am asking too much. Maybe I am behaving like a 4-year old kid... Maybe... But, what if what I am now feeling is true? I think it would hurt me terribly if it is indeed the truth.
Perhaps, it would do me good to leave this question unattended. I do not want to be emotionally burdened again. But, I want this to echo in your mind forever. Be honest to yourself. If you are just putting up a show, I beg you! Please let go of me if all this while, your are just faking it...
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