Tomorrow is Christmas and TODAY is ANGEL's 3rd BIRTHDAY!!

My loveliest super pretty little Angel. Wishing you a very blessed 3rd birthday, Christina Angel. Here is my prayer for you.

Watch over your child, O Lord, as her days increase; bless and guide her wherever she may be. Strengthen her when she stands; comfort her when discouraged or sorrowful; raise her up if she falls; and in her heart may your peace which passes understanding abide all the days of her life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

O God, our times are in your hand: Look with favor, we pray, on you child, ... , as she begins another year. Grant that she may grow in wisdom and grace, and strengthen her trust in your goodness all the days of her life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Watch over thy child, O Lord, as her days increase; bless and guide her wherever she may be. Strengthen her when she stands; comfort her when discouraged or sorrowful; raise her up if she falls; and in her heart may thy peace which passeth understanding abide all the days of her life;through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

God our Creator, the birth of your child Jesus brought great joy to Mary and Joseph. We give thanks to you for the child whose birthday we celebrate today. May she ever grow in your faith, hope, and love. We ask this in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Wishing everyone a Merry and Joyous Christmas!!

True Rest

My dear child, I know you're weary
With nothing left to give.
You've worked long and hard
Now you feel frayed and worn.

Come with Me to a quiet place
Away from all the noise and busyness.
Let Me wrap My arms around you,
Enfold you in My love.

Let Me whisper peace to your heart's storm,
Soothe your troubled brow.
Listen to the love song
I composed just for you.

In Me is true contentment.
In Me you will find what you long for.
Come with Me to a quiet place
And receive rest, strength, and peace.

--Submitted by About.com member, Margie Casteel

Flying with VIBRANT colours this time!

Ashari called me just now to inform me that the result is already available at SMPWEB.. My heart was experiencing a sudden furious throb.. My hand was hardly shaking! My whole body trembled like it would be bursting in not more than a nanosecond! I immediately turned on my desktop and while impatiently waiting to be connected to the website, with blood all gushing uncontrollably, I talked to Ashairi over the phone with an indescribable excitement!!
This is so unexpected because I am informed that the result would only be announced tomorrow, on the 17th. In fact, all UKM-ians are well-informed via its webpage that the result may be obtained the earliest by 12:01 later at midnight! That has actually doubled-up or rather multiplied the tense! You know how impatient I could be!

Alright. Let's get back to the main story! The webpage was ready to be viewed. I logged in and with my all-sweating fingers, I dragged the mouse to "KEPUTUSAN PEPERIKSAAN" button and tried to gracefully click on it. Tadaaaaaa... Owh not yet.. Haha.. I press CTRL + T on the keyboard to channel my overwhelm nervourness to my Facebook account. After checking on few friends' statuses and commenting on some, I guessed I was in total control of my nerve already! With just one simple click, my result is now visible to my very pair of eyes.
That was indeed a moment I saw butterfly flying graciously with beautiful and energetic wings.. Flapping joyously towards the sunshine. I felt like I was floating in the air.. Felt so uplifted.. I am so grateful. Thanks, Lord!! This is indeed one of the greatest Christmas and New Year gift ever.. I was literally gasping for air!!!! My result was not as fabulous as others, but I am very grateful!!!!! Thanks, Lord!!!!! I am so happy though a bit of frustration tickles me.. Till this very second, in between typing this historic entry, I keep on glancing through my result top-down. This one is indeed the best I have achieved EVER..
To those who have generously shared your precious notes with me, I would love to really thank you!!! To Keah, I owe you a bunch and bunch of thanks!! To Robin my study buddy, you helped me a lot too, inspiring me to believe in and have faith in myself. Rifky too for posting the useful notes on the internet! To Ashairi, hahaha... for setting me free from my anxiety! And of course, to the rest of Cohort 3, Dya, Yanna, Nana, Ina, Za, Sap, Safa, Jimmy and others, I truthfully appreciate your endless blessing, good luck wishes and motivation! Thank you so very much, guys!!! I know each and everyone of you too did really well this time! Congratulations!!!

Aba, mummy! This is my humble little token. I have fulfilled my promise.. hehe.. Angpau lai.. Arthur, I hope that this would inspire you to work smarter and harder. Though some people might find those alphabets and numbers stated on your result slip is merely a number and only an alphabet, you know very well what those symbols represent! They might not be as well effected by it, but let us find our virtue in our own feat. At least that is the legacy that we shall leave behind for our grandson to witness..

The Biggest Loser Finale

I don't realy spare a good time watching these INTIMIDATING series. That's how I felt before and not too long after I stay with its finale earlier this afternoon for like a minute or two, it was no longer intimidating but I found this reality TV show as ENTHRALLING, PERSPECTIVE-CHANGING and INSPIRING!!! Regretted it that I didn't give the earlier series a chance.
Can you imagine a person of the size of a fat, gigantic elephant with wavy stomach and thick fat layersssss could miraculously turn into somone of a perfect, muscular figure? How is that possible? I was almost driven to tears when a man who once so damn FATTTTTTTttttt has now become a man of admirable physique...

Seeeeeeeeeee!!!! This is what I meant! No wayyyyyyyyyy.. But, it is for real.. Gosh.. While I may not as fat as the guy was, but I surely seriously in need to lose tonnes of weight! The contestants were so much motivated plus they have a very dedicated and aspiring trainers to make their dreams possible. After all, the training they went through in the ranch is indeed an environement needed. Ahhh.. I am just making excuses. Just to make me feelin' good for not doing what I should! For actually, without a professional guidance, losing weight is still possible. And, a concerted effort is its core, basic need. You can't expect to harvest the yield within an overnight, can you? A man with strong will could make it. Am I that MAN?
I did it when I was in MRSM last time. Why can't I make it this time? DISCIPLINE and SUPPORT are the only two things I need.

A Grandpa for Christmas

This is another Hallmark instamlment that has touched my soft spot again! So in love with this movie. I was like glued to it till the end. It is a two-hour jaw-dropping movie! This is a little snippet about this great MASTERPIECE as taken from http://www.rhitv.com/Movie.aspx?id=185..

A holiday gift to warm even the coldest heart, A GRANDPA FOR CHRISTMAS stars Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine as Bert Riley, an ex-Hollywood tough guy who opens his front door one morning and finds the granddaughter he never knew, expecting to move in. A man who’s set in his ways, Bert is not looking forward to the sudden upheaval, but over time, and just in time for the holidays, they discover the power and strength of family… and give each other the greatest gift possible… their hearts. Touching and timeless, A GRANDPA FOR CHRISTMAS is surprising little gem of movie.

One of the reasons that I refused to leave home

How can I ever afford to leave my home? Disregard all the 5-star comfort that I enjoy. Forget about the other heavenly privilleges that I am blessed with. To be with my two nieces is indeed THE REASON why I am so insistent to be home. Their smiles make my heart bounces. Their laughter make my day brighter. Their cries make my passion intensifies. Greates joy and true love I found no where else but in them; gorgeous Christina Angel and lovely Cherylene Ann..

Suggested CJMP Logosss..

Clemence Joys

I am honoured to be given a chance to design a logo for my uncle, a rising Iban superstar.. While he does not enjoy the extravaganza stardom as few other big names in the industry do, but, he is very comfortable within his own league.
His songs make it into the market, competitively fighting to rest at No.1 for Iban music chart. He has evidently and comfortably being the No.1 for quite sometimes with his introduction album with his hits singles like Nadai Penanggul and Seri Manis. He has garnered so much influence that till this very second, he could hardly be seen around; performing at and attending a show, one after another. In fact, he is one of the highest paid Iban artist with luxurious package; good accommodation, scrumptious meal and comfy transportation. 1K or more for 2 or 3 songs. Quite a huge amount considering his music scene for a new figure. Way to go uncle. He has also shared the stage with Mila, Misha Omar, Bob and few other big names.
Owh ya.. Did I mention his name? Introducing Iban's best kept secret, from Pasai Bon Batu 11, Clemence Joys!!! I know, I know, the introductory line sounds hilarious. Well, everyone begins from a very humble and modest beginning right? He has a lot of time with him to develop his career.
By the way, he has nothing to fear for. He has a constant income. He is a keen teacher.. Music is just his thing, his PASSION!! Can't live without it I believed! And, yea, so sorry that I have none of his photo with me at this moment. But, I am proud to share with you some of the logos that I have designed for him which he would have a good time to choose from. 10 of them actually. And he picked this.. I'll show you the rest a bit later.. Owh ya! My brother Arthur helped me with the finishing. Thanks, bro!
Rationale:
Tortoise:
It is locally known as "Jui" in Iban. A jui or a kura-kura or a tortoise is a very determined and zealous creature. Though it moves at a relatively slow pace, well, as the saying goes, "slow and steady win the race!" The closest homophone would be "Joy" in English. Our Jamming Studio was thereafter known as Joy's Jamming Studio. "Joy" is chosen instead of "Jui" because of the commercial purpose. Anyway. note that I used was. It has now working towards the merging with a bigger music production. So, my uncle would love to retain the root that has somehow plays an important role in his early career days.

The tribal drawing:
It symbolically represents the Iban. The painful process of tattooing represents bravery, courage and sovereignty. The characteristics that Clemence Joys would love to employ. We are internationally known as the pioneer in developing the art of tattoo. It has been refined for over the past centuries and still surviving. This heritage of ours has been accepted by today's generation. Tattoo is no longer a rare scene nowadays.

The circle:
It signify the world. The world is what Clemence Joys aims to triumph over. While his music is only friendly to the ears of his very own community due to the language barrier, he desires to bring his music far beyond his demographic boundary to let you and I dance to his music. He does maintain some of the distinctive element of Iban influenced in his music but with a modernized and a much fresher beat. Who knows, one day, Clemnce Joys' Music Production would be the next prominent music power house?

So, GRAB CLEMENCE JOYS CD NOW!!!! His second album debut will be in the market SOON!

Housemaid WANTED!!!

Housekeeper? Housemaid? Pembantu rumah? Orang gaji? I need them all badly at this point of time. I wake up as early as 7a.m. to only run my daily errands; the household chores. I am not actually complaining about me doing, sometimes completely everything. It is just that how I wish some of the burden could be uplifted from my shoulder.
However, it is very difficult to find a trustworthy person who fits the job well. Not only they should be able to work independently and do their work effectively, but most importantly, they must be a person of trust! Since we have two dear babies around, hiring one would be a tough decision to make. Maybe you are suggesting that we ought to learn to trust others, but why takes the risk, right? We would not compromise our safety and God-knows-what!
So, no matter how tiring it could be, it is much better to do stuff on our own. Yea, it might be frighteningly tiring, but, we are granted with fruitful gratification towards the end.
I am still amazed with my mun who could cope up well with everything within a very limited time frame. She is a working lady and yet, she has the time with her. She told me that no one is granted a sufficient time. So, she makes the time available for her to do everything before going to bed. You don't have the time so make it! Brilliant...

Ninja Assassin and New Moon

I was not actually planning to watch these two splendid movies last night. But, I did plan to watch either one not too early to avoid the huge crowd. So, a week or two after their premier would be just nice. To my delight, these two box-office movies did not upset me. I spent RM36 on these movies. 2 sets of ticket; my brother and I. Not only King's Triplex benefited from my investment, but I believed those who went there to watch the movies were also enchanted with each beau.
Watching Ninja Assassin was like taking a ride on a roller-coaster. Starred by Rain, Asian very own superstar, this piece is surely not for the faint-hearted. I myself found the movie very disturbing with devilishly reddish blood splashing on the screen almost every single second. Too much spine-chilling scenes and goosebumps moments. I hardly breath and at times, when I was spared a moment of peace, I could feel an intense relief gushing up my nerve. Anyway, it touches the issues on betrayal, loyalty and trust pretty well. "BLOOD BEGETS BLOOD.." Enough said. However, despite its astonishing portrayal of troubling act, I just love it.
New Moon, on the other hand, is just on the contrary. While Ninja Assassin claimed its pride in its awesome manifestation of superb martial art skill, New Moon has crafted love twist, endless romance and the-best-man-win attribute into a magnificent production. To certain extent, those lovey-dovey scenes could caused someone a turbulence inside one's stomach. Still, i would give it a two-thumb up praise!
Actually, when I was watching Twilight 2: New Moon, my mind was bewildering. I was reflecting on a real life occasion which happened back in UKM. There were a lot of "aaa" moment from the beginning till the end. I wouldn't be giving too much details on what I was reflecting on. If you have watched the movie and if you have read my previous-previous blog entries, you would surely know what am I talking about here.
It was 11.30p.m. when my brother and I left the cinema. Needed to entertain our growling stomach. After a RM5 kuetiau goreng basah, a RM5 salad sotong, and a glass of Teh C Peng Special each, we went home and zzzzz...

I surely miss this figure of mine!!!!

While I extremely love to eat, I wanna it so bad to own this figure AGAIN!!!

Gran Torino

I really have a good time watching movie back home. I have just finished another worth watching one. GRAN TORINO it is. I know that it is not well-publicized. It was not even in the limelight when it was on the screen sometimes in 2008. But owh, boy! This movie would not disappoint you. Pardon the old man's crude language, but the language used accentuates the atmosphere that the director wanted to create. Also be patient with the slowly developed plot line. But, your waiting pays off when you reach its ending.
I watched the movie by accident. My brother got it downloaded because of the title. He loves car anyway and thus, such a title would attract him. He told me that a Gran Torino is a super car something like Mustang. If you are into car, you surely know better than I do myself.
I would have to say that it is a movie full with driving emotion. While I laughed at the jovial, interesting, vulgar conversation the casts have, I was also moved to tears, except that I did not cry for goodness sake! A merit shall be credited to the scriptwriter!!! Whoever you are, I just love your work damn much! Beautiful and evocative lines you got there. Each touches me rather deeply.
Hey, but, man, Gran Tarino is a superb movie. I hate to say that it might be better than 2012. it is about Walt, (what a coincidence huh? I am known as Walt too) an Englishman folk who is a Korean war Veteran become a fast friend with Thao, a Hmong, a race that one may find somewhere in Tibet, Korea and Vietnam. Their friendship is what I call THE FRIENDSHIP!! I would not spill all the bean here. Read up the synopsis of the movie yourself. Google it and you would be amused by its humble review. What are you waiting for? Watch it now, fellas!!

What happened at 4:30 p.m.

At 4.30 p.m., you would not find me elsewhere but in the kitchen. This is practically my routine for every evening. I will begin with re-heating the dishes that my mum has prepared earlier in the afternoon. I would only have to prepare a vegetable for the dinner.
In case you guys are wondering, during weekdays, there would be nobody at home for lunch. But, the table would be fully occupied for dinner after everyone reaches home from work after 5pm. So, dinner is the get-together time for my family. Sometimes with the exception for my mum who at times would have to work for an evening shift. In that case, my mum would prepare the main dish before leaving for work. The rest, I'll get it ready. And if she is around, it would be like a kind of son-and-mum collaboration for dinner preparation.. Every dish is of the highest quality and flavor, prepared well and presented in an artful manner.
I love the idea of eating at home because the gourmet that is prepared might not be available even at any 5-star hotel. The hygiene is there. The quantity is there. A complete package under one roof that is affordable and simply delicious. The quality is beyond any doubt minus the exquisite table manner that is required at any lavish or posh eatery places.
At 5.20p.m, I would be expecting my sister, my brother-in-law and my father to be around. And yeah, my brother Arthur who appears from nowhere. LOL... They are hungry of course after a-day work. Dinner time would be our quality time. Sharing jokes and not so often, you might as well expect a deafening silent at the table.. Hahaha..
Next, the dish-washing. Again, I would not let my sister to do that. Even most of the times, there would be a struggle between my brother-in-law and I to wash the pot, the plates, the forks and the spoons, I would ensure that I am the first at the washing area. After all, I have nothing else to do right? They have been working for all day long and they need some rest. I CANNOT treat my own house like a hotel. This is on of my contributions to the family. Furthermore, their two darling princesses needed them much more than I do.
Well, the kitchen routine would normally end at 7pm. I would leave the kitchen all shiny and ever ready for our next meal.

Home, THE heavenly food galore,,,

Perhaps you noted that I posted the title above as one of my shoutouts at Facebook sometimes ago. It is evident that I am savouring myself with tonnes of homecook delicacies each time I am home. Gaining weight is so easy. On day one after each holiday, my stomach would be obviously ballooning and my waist would accordingly expanding.
Whom to be blamed? My mum for her excellent culinary skill? My father for his exquisite cooking talent? The freeze that is cramped with an array of frozen food? My sister and my brother-in-law who bring fast food home? My brother Arthur who enjoys frying fries or nuggets or hot dogs in the middle of the night? Or my simply irresistible temptation?
I can hardly recall when was the last time I experienced growling stomach ever since I reached home. In fact, on my second day in Sibu, the first thing that we did was marketing. Making a stop at almost every stall. Emptying Sibu Central Market was what it seemed to be.
I was showered with question like "What do you want to eat?" "You like this, don't you?" "Mummy will buy this. How do you want it to be cooked?" "Emm, you must be longing for this. Tauke aa, get me a kilo of this." Those sorts of things.. Hahaha..
My parents would never fail to make me feel at extreme comfort. Even at the age of 23, I would get whatever I want. Just say it and it shall be prepared for. Furthermore my brother is home. Everyone is home. My mum would ensure we eat RICHLY for each meal. Though she would be working either for morning, afternoon or night shift, she would make sure that she has prepared something on the table. My brother and I wake up to only enjoy each of her scrumptious homecook food. Mummy, aba, Ida, ad, thanks!!!

Steamboat dinner turned 2012

Earlier yesterday morning, I jokingly told my mum that I wanted to enjoy steamboat for dinner. She called my father immediately and within an instance, she said that we shall go for our steamboat dinner at 6pm. A slight guilt appeared somehow.. My father and my mum agreed just like that!

However, we could only plan. Little that we know that we would be receiving a guest. Hmmm.. Actually, my mum and I could anticipate our company that evening. Hehe.. So, the entire plan had to be canceled. We have to wait for my mum next off-day. It could not be too long because she is already on night shift today. The night shift would be for two consecutive nights. The third day would be the off-day. So, for the coming Friday, I supposed we will carry on with the plan. Hopefully without any interference.. Hehehe..
Our guest has finally left. What shall I do next? Hmmm.. I remember that I have promised my brother that I will be watching 2012 with him. Well, maybe last night was the night to fulfill that promise. Unexpectedly, my brother-in-law decided to join the two of us for the movie. How can I resist? It simply meant that, the movie would be for free.. Hahahaha... And not for the movie alone.. Adrian treated us at McD.. A combo each.. Thanks!!!!
And I must tell you that I am so much in 2012-after-effect-mode. I love everything about the movie. So, though my steamboat dinner was replaced with 2012 movie, it was not just a replacement.. 2012 ROCKS!!!!

A song dedicate to you

This song expresses myself well. You know who you are and yea, if you got to read this, please do a little homework, yea. If you got the chance, go and search for this song by Dato Siti Nurhaliza entitled "Bila Harus Memilih." .. Listen to each word and try to feel what I felt.

Dulu, Kau Pernah Berjanji Pada Diriku
Untuk Menjaga Dan Menyayangiku
Itu Bererti Sampai Akhirnya
Kau Meninggalkanku

Kini, Kau Ingin Kembali Pada Hatiku
Setelah Kau Pergi Meninggalkanku
Haruskah Hati
Memberi Kesempatan Dirimu

Haruskah Aku Percaya
Segala Yang Kau Ucapkan
Kata Kata Maafmu, Kata Kata Memohon
Untuk Kembali Kepadaku

Meski Cintaku Padamu
Lebih Dari Yang Kau Tahu
Namun Mengerti Kasih
Tak Semudahnya Itu
Melupakan Yang Telah Kau Lakukan Padaku

Beri Aku Waktu
Untuk Memikirkan Yang Terbaik
Cinta Jadi Dilema
Pergi Ataupun Kembali

A day before home

I wake up pretty early this morning, at around 7. Haha.. Got a lot of laundry to do.. My bedsheet, pillow cases and comforter.. Don't have the luxury of time since I'll be going to the airport as early as 6 a.m. tomorrow. Moreover, later today, I'll be joining Ash, Sap, Zack and Safa to Kuala Lumpur. Thank you for including me guys.
Anyway, I was having fun packing last evening. I shall give a credit to my roomate Sapri. He will be staying here throughout the holiday. So, I don't have to trouble myself packing everything. I have to only prepare myself for my journey home. I am indebted to you, Sap! Thanks, mate!!
I am currently listening to Dato Siti's songs from her successful Konsert Satu!! So mesmerised by Destinasi Cinta, Ku Milikmu, Debaran Cinta and so many others! Will never be bored with her superb vocal performance.

The End of Sem 1, 2009/2010 & Happy Holiday

I hereby declare that SEMESTER 1, 2008/2009 is officially closed!!! Exam is OVER... Yahuuuu.. Preparing myself for my journey home...

Though I know that I shall celebrate my last few serene moment in UKM with merriment, there is a lot of unfinished businesses that are left unattended, leaving one or two broken souls unhealed and impaired. But, those would be troubling my now peaceful soul.

I will never look back this time. Those things are REALLY not worth remembering and mentioning. I have TONNES and TONNES of better things to do. Will not spoil my beautiful moment with those wicked nuisance and loathsome nonsense.

I have a mixture of feeling leaving this semester. Lots of things happened. Too many things. I have always wanted to be home so that I could forget each unpleasant event and wipe those dim-witted, despicable, indecent memories from my mind.

When I come back for the new semester approximately a month later, I want to restart anew! I want my new semester to begin with new enthusiasm and new spirit. I shall not live with my past. No matter what has taken place this semester, good or bad, I shall learn from each. Repeating the same mistake I dare not. I will be more and EXTRA careful in choosing whom shall I walk with next time around. Will never again leave anything to chances. I have had enough.

Happy holiday everyone. I know you would surely have a good time with your loved ones. And yeah, I am truly sorry if I have ransacked your life. My bad.. Haha.. (This apology, however is to only those deserving ones) Ta..

Lord, HEAR my PRAYER..

Dear Jesus, in the Sacrament of the Altar,
be forever thanked and praised.
Love, worthy of all celestial and terrestrial love!
Who, out of infinite love for me,
ungrateful sinner,
didst assume our human nature,
didst shed Thy most Precious Blood in the cruel scourging,
and didst expire on a shameful Cross
for our eternal welfare!
Now illumined with lively faith,
with the outpouring of my whole soul
and the fervor of my heart,
I humbly beseech Thee,
through the infinite merits of Thy painful sufferings,
give me strength and courage
to destroy every evil passion which sways my heart,
to bless Thee by the exact fulfillment of my duties,
supremely to hate all sin,
and thus to become a Saint.

Taste your own medicine...

Mun ko berkira, aku berkira juak. Senang jak.. U get to taste your own medicine bah. Kinek, aku senang jak koh. Bagus aku madah terus-terang. Mun ko treat aku gia, gia juak la aku treat ko balit. Mun ko treat aku gitok, gitok juakla aku treat ko. Basically, I truly believed that 'buat baik dibalas baik' holds no value any longer. People nowadays are not easy to please. No matter how nicely I treated them, I hardly gained anything in return. So, daripada aku terus terluka, I have changed my POLICY ENTIRELY. Read the following carefully.
Mun ko bait, aku akan berkali-kali jadi lebih bait dari kau.. Aku akan polah whatever it takes to make your world an astonishing place, to make every passing second an astounding one.. And when I do it, do not question my sincerity because I do it with all of my heart. Seikhlas hati and willingly, genuinely and truthfully.
BUT, NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE ME! Mun kau polah taik dengan aku, jangan ko ingat aku tok naive gilak.. I could turn your world upside down. I could make this world a hellish place for you. Enough said. Blah..

Aku maluuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

Have you ever been in a situation in which you are left to only one option? However, to actually pick the only choice that you have, it takes a lot of courage to proceed with it. I am now dealing with a situation like such. I really have no choice but to half-heartedly agree to do what I am shamefully forced myself to. I have to humilliate myself for other's sake. It hurt my pride in a way but, what else can I do but THAT!! Anyway, it causes others no harm. The only harm is, I feel extremely mortified and embarrassed.. But at least, my intention is GOOD..

Unleashing my crude talents

How do I keep myself occupied when boredom is eating me alive? I would unleash my crude talents in whatever it is when I am left to no company. Dancing to the music I played. Singing like a mad man. I surely know how crazy those sound but, hey, I have a good time doing each.
While I am prominently labeled as an out-going person, I am not as confident as few others simply because I have little to showcase. Undoubtledly, I can't dance. can't sing too. So, the only avenue I could stage my 'talents' is when I am left unattended. Haha.. Of course I would ensure that I have closed the curtain.. Keeping only myself as the viewer. I am still keeping my sanity though!! Who wants to be a laughing stock? Do you? I wanted not to.. Hahaha.. That's why, it is a must to double check that the door has been securely locked and I shall leave no mess or any trace of evidence that would get me caught..
Yea, at times, I often secretly wish that I can dance, I can sing, I can rap, I can do just about anything; an all-rounder person I mean. I am still in search for what I am realy good at. Since I am not a sportman too, what other fields would certainly suit my soul? The search is unlikely to reach an end.Thus, while imagining I am good at either one, I keep it behind a closed door.
You can now probably imagining me doing all sorts of things when I am all by myself. Yea.. Dancing, boogieing, singing, pretending that I am playing football in the middle of the field, pretending that I have scored a goal or perhaps pretending that I am on air, hosting a live TV show or at least pretending to be the sports commentator.. Audible enough to my ear. Perhaps those who stay next door might be able to listen to my craps.. Pardon me neighbour! So much like a kid does, huh?? Living in an imaginary world.
But, I am not building any castle in the air because, well, I enjoy those private moment endlessly! I feel really good to be able to execute my 'talent' this way. I would not be too suprised though if any of the days, I might get caught red-handed while pretending to wrap my hands tightly around my water bottle (baseball bat) , imagining that I am a New York Yankee player.. Hahahaha..

By Louise Erdrich in The Painted Drum: A Novel

Sha dearie got to share this beautiful lines with me and now I wanted to share it with you my readers.. Here they go:

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

A fat guy I am (WARNING)

I am not too surprised to note my expanding waist. It is obvious and it is surely visible. Even the blind could see. No offence but it is true.
Wait.. Look at that.. A slice of cheesecake.. Come on, man. Go for it. Wait a sec.. There is a piece of roasted chicken on the table. Only one left. But, hey, another slice of pizza, emmm, caramel, spaghetti, and there, yea, overthere your favourite hamburger. EAT IT ALL!!! With gulp and gulpsssssss of carbonated beverages to quench your thirst!
That is nothing to be proud of Walter. You have not been taking care of yourself very well. You didn't even bother to reduce the size of the portion of each meal taken, the least to even control your food intake. You just simply eat ANYTHING you could as long as you have some money with you. You don't even know when to stop munching!!!
Come on, Walt!! You are now only 23. Maybe you want to live a short life. You know the impact of bad eating habit yourself. You do understand each. And at this very moment, you are aware that you aren't not at all a fit person. You can see IT coming. Don't you love your family or those who care about you? You would say yes. But, why didn't you monitor the size of your plate? What an irony..
You also proclaimed that you are very conscious of your appearance. And now, LOOK AT YOU!!! LOOK AT YOU really CLOSELY?? What do you have to flaunt? Your wavy, bulging stomach? Your flabby arm? Your gigantic legs? You chubby cheek? Lucky that you are A BIT tall. Otherwise, I hate to say that you are just an oversized jackfruit.
Look at what has eating done to your pocket? It has burnt a hole, hasn't it? But the serious reduction in your monetary prospect didn't do anything at all.. You still go on eating like tomorrow will never ever come. Sparing hardly a single thought for your next day. What is wrong with you, man????
When you finally realized that something ought to be done, it might be too late. You better work on something before it is really, really too late. I am afraid that you can't even work you finger on the keyboard to type another entry. Afraid that you might not even witness the sunrise. Afraid that... sigh...
Do listen this time for goodness sake, WALTER!!! If you are not doing this for yourself, do this for Angel, for Ann, for your family. They love you and they wanted to be with you possibly forever. Take care of your health. Go for a healthy meal. You may enjoy anything you loved but be moderate. You still have tomorrow to enjoy the other meal that you are craving for. OK?
Just remember, how good it felt not to be oversized? Just remember those apparel line that you always wanna buy but you just can't because of your size? Just remember the number of round you made when you jog when you were slimmer? Just remember how good it felt.. You made it last time.. It can't be too difficult this time, couldn't it? Give it a shot Walt!
You have been accustomed to your disastrous eating habit. In a strange way though but hopefully it leaves you with a degree of alarming danger if you refused to do something about it.

Patah Tumbuh Hilang Berganti

People said,we can never find the replacement for the thing that we have lost. People also said that, there is no use to cry over what we have lost. Another saying says that we will never value what we have untl we lost it.
But hey, losing anything can never be too bad either. What if losing a thing served as a mean for a new, better and refreshing life? What if losing anything spared us a greater joy? What if losing something provided us with a better perspective of life?
Losing is gaining. That is how I see it. I learn something! And I have lost quite a number of thing. While I CHERISH each TRULY while everything is within grasp, losing anything would not be a matter of regret. I learn and that MATTERS!
This reminded me to another saying that proclaims, if you love something you have to let it go and if it is meant to be yours, it would be coming back to you. This I believed is applicable to everything; broken relationship, love affair etc...

Teary moment

I am so reluctant to publish this entry. This one however, served as an eulogy, my word of sympathy to my dearest cousin, a 14-year old boy who is now making his way seeing his Creator in Heaven. As I reflected on the funeral home tonight which my parents attended, I am truly touched by the outpour and abundance of love and support that his death has generated. Though we hardly knew each other but as I prepared for this, I felt his presence and his reassurance that he would guide me in knowing what to say.


Losing a brother and a son is such a sad event. I will remember him always for his great charm and wit. We all share in your grief at this difficult time. To Indai Aluk and family, you have my deepest sympathy on his departure. I know how hard it is to lose a sibling who as well is a dear son. I'm sure that he would want all of us to celebrate the good life that he had. My thoughts and prayers are with you.I can't write more...

REST IN PEACE, BRO!

A word

I am a kind of a person who would remember any remark from just about anybody. Those words would echo forever. I am amused sometimes that people could simply forget what have they said and denied it simply when I told them that they actually did say such a thing. But, I just remember vividly how it was said. So, next time, be more precautious yea.
Life is full with surprises. Pleasant surprises, unpleasant surprises. Hmmm... Today, a word from a friend has elevated my spirit to a higher level. Thank you, dude. You make my day! Good beginning and I dearly hope that today would end well too.
You know how much a word could affect a person don't you? Words can either kill or otherwise it would heal you completely. That expains why we must be careful with what we are about to utter. As a saying goes, everything you say would be misquoted and would be used against you. See the underlying danger. Say something sensibly.

Lonely and transportless

I am left to myself again. No companion, another buddy-less evening. How I wish I have a motorbike or maybe a car? I would leave my room and go outside to embrace the world! I am paranoid to the sound of engines. I know that people are going to have some fun somewhere and I am here all alone.
How lucky they are. Mobility is not an issue while it is a big deal for me. I regretted it sometimes that I refused to get myself a motobike when my parents offered me a while ago. I have to highly dependent on others' sympathy and generosity to take me out somewhere.
I am not as privilleged as they are. At times, when others are giving me a ride, how I wish that I could have an ultimate control; going everywhere I want without thinking too much, But then, the machine isn't mine. Most of the times, I have to secretly wish that I want to go here and there. Only whispering to myself. Afterall, the car or the motorcycle is not mine. Shouldn't I be just gratified instead that people have me included in their voyage?
I can't deny that I envy some of my classmates who get to go to a lot of places; only possible with cars or at least a motorcyle. Even when I heard some of my friends are having fun at simply mamak, how I wish that I could be around! But I just can't! Unless the place is accessible by bus or the least the place is only within walking distance, then maybe I may join their merriment.
Then again, going out would also mean that a considerable huge amount of money would be spent too. This is KL; the fuel, the toll, then the food.. Everything comes in a package. It can't be either too good or too hopeless.
One day, YES, one day, I will not feel unattended to like this no more! I will have my own CAR and I will go anywhere I love too. Hehehe.. Brrroooooooommmmm, brooooommmmm.. Taaa~

Another re-representation of my sore heart..

Thanks to zwani.com

2 people that I HATE

At the moment, I HATE these 2 people!! I am so very extremely enraged with madness!!! I HATE TO HATE!!! But, everytime I see them or hear their voices, my heart would amazingly beat hell faster. Hate it, hate it.. Hate ittttttttttttttttttttttt.....
Shall they die tomorrow, the most humanly act I could afford is to buy them a yellow carnation each and place either one on their respective coffin. Blahhhhh

HAhahaha

I thought he does not care about the consequences of his foolish action. It appeared to me however, everything does matter. He is very much affected by the feedback he is now getting. Not too surprising though, he could not sit still but would reply every post that is meant to ASSIST him.
The saddest thing is that, he does not realize that others are offering him another chance to improve. Well, he is RIGHT afterall by his own definition.
Admitting that a damage is done BUT doing nothing about it would not make you a FREEMAN or rather a GENTLEMAN. ADMITTING ARROGANTLY and SARCASTICALLY on the damage that you have caused would not help even a little. If I were you, I would HUMBLY APOLOGIZE! Enough with sarcasic replies that bring you zerro benefit. Please exercise your extraordinary, remarkable linguistic ability PROPERLY, agree?
I don't find that blocking you would ensure that no harm is made by you in the future. Let you bear the consequences of your own action. Blocking you is like allowing you an easy escape. Glad that you yourself are annoyed by the chaos you yourself had started. However, I myself as the pioneer of that avenue is now re-re-reconsidering to simply terminate the service of that facility if the drama continues. Just maybe.

a friend like henry

I found this book on Sapri's bed. Was actually attracted to the charming little boy and his gorgeous dog by his side on its cover. Little that I knew that Dale, the boy is suffering from auttism. His face is so cute and adorable for that matter of fact. Anyway, who says the book cover does not matter? Hahaha..
Then, I was intrigued to find out more by flipping through its first few pages. Owh, my, hate it that this book is brilliant! Just brilliant! And now, I am hooked. Making my way to its last page.
This book would not dissappoint you. Of that I am very certain. This book is a tearjerker one. My eyes were teary and all-flooded. Basically because it evocatively reminded me of the sacrifices that our parents have made. Pardon me for being emotional here.
This novel is also very inspiring and uplifting. It is perspective-enriching too. If you say that your life is CURSED, try to switch place with Dale, an autistic boy. Then, I hope you stop saying and grumbling how bad your life is.
This heart-warming novel taught me not only to be gratified with what have our parents provided for us but to be appreciative that we are born without any abnormalities. Our life couldn't be better right? The obstacles are just cliches that we have to wisely tackled.
Again, the notion of a dog as man's bestfriend is very well manifested in this novel. Go and grab this novel now. And yea, I am not paid for promoting this book. :)

Goodbye by Secondhand Serenade

I like this song entitled "Goodbye" by Secondhand Serenade. I know the lyrics sounded like it is the end of the day. Hehe.. Its forceful goodbye towards the end of the song is quite evocative anyway.. Just like it.. Hehehe..

Goodbye by Secondhand Serenade

It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe we are the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe
All I had to say is goodbye
We are better off this way
I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
Cause everything we have been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by
Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong
Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Birds of the same feather flocks together..

I was at a place when I overheard a so-called confidential conversation between 2 birds. HATE IT that I got to hear it, though it was merely the snippets of their so-called private phone call. One said that "I don't care about what people say about me." Owh really was my respond.. I was whispering to myself la. Feeling geram a bit... Hahaha..
Well, the other party I guess was trying to comfort this troubled friend. I found the conversation rather hilarious and fascinating. It was like a blind man guiding another blind man. I would not be seeking a word of comfort from a very unreliable, shaken, fly-by-night, wacky person, would you?
Well, what do you expect? Birds of the same feather flocks together. At least they find solace in each other. But do they? Hahahahaha... I hope it would not lead to another disastrous chapter in their life, cukuplah! Simply because, how much different would their advice be from each other?
The other would not spill the others the harsh fact bah... So, in the end, when you are only reassured that you are right and others are so wrong and so cruel to treat you so unkindly, with that kind of responses, would the problem be solved? Afraid not.
WHATEVER!! TALK TO THE HAND! Asalkan kau tidak mengganggu hidup aku, sudahlah.. Huhuhu.. Tapi kerana hidup aku terganggulah di sini ku curah segala!

Need a break

If you ask me what I wanted the most at this tender moment, I would confidently yell "I wanted to be home!" I hardly see any purpose being in a place that is completely lacking and devoid of love, compassion and wit and filled with only hatred, slanders, sinisters, grudges and anger...
Why must those troubled souls be untouched by embodiment of emotional maturity? Why must those wrecked entities drag along others into their gloomy and sullen world? I need to free my tainted soul. I am in real, tangible need to liberate myself from this unproductive and soiled ground.
I am so pleased that I am blessed with a bunch of friends whom are there to ensure that I could still crawl to the next day. Otherwise, I would hardly make it to the next sunrise. Or perhaps, I would manage to only witness the sunset without those beautiful and warm hearts.
In not more than a week, home will I be. My only hope is, when I come back here next semester, those souls that have gone nuts would not be disturbing me anymore. Not anymore!! I want to be blanketed by peace and wrapped myself with tranquility. No more reeling heartaches and headaches. That IS all I WANT!

It's Nov the 4th!! Today is the day!!!

Modelling has always been my dream

How different would my life be if my faces are everywhere on the major billboards or any other large advertising structure? How would it be liked to be super famous and super rich? How would it be like to have your photo taken every single second?
Actually, modelling has always been my dream. But, I don't have what it needs to become one. Hmmm... Anyway, enjoy those photos.. Thanks to Photofunia..