Making my HeaRt audiBle.. Through mistake I learnt greatly, through YoU I walked Steadily

2012

2011-12-23T00:15:00.002+08:00

Are we really approaching the end of the world? Are we going to witness the destruction of mankind? But, I do feel like I am going to live for another 80 years.. And, 2072, see you...

Where are you?

2011-12-23T00:09:00.003+08:00

Where were you when I needed you to be my pillar of strength?? You do know what happen! I made it obvious through my wall on FB. You couldn't have missed it. I didn't expect much though. One short, simple sms or maybe a one-second call would mean the world to me. I thought among others, you would be the first one to help me through my lost. You just don't care. This is not how I wanted to remember you because you have never been like one ever (You did actually). Doubly sad....

Make a move

2011-12-23T00:03:00.002+08:00

You are too choosy.. That's what people always told me.. No, I am not. I am left with too little a choice. Who on earth is not intimidated or felt left behind if one after another of his/her friends are settling down? I am now 25 and yes, I am super single. I have been looking around and yes, minutes back I made my bold move. It wasn't too bad though I ended up holding the single title once more. I really don't know if I would ever marry?? At least, I made my first move...

Sad

2011-12-22T23:46:00.003+08:00

I thought it would be easy.. It might be an easy one if I was courageous enough to talk to her 2 years back. Unfortunately, I wasn't at all certain. I spent nearly an hour talking to her over the phone to make things clear between us two.. It wasn't too bad a case though. It was not a case of an unrequited one but rather a matter of time. As I said earlier, if I was manly enough to just approach her, maybe things would be entirely different by now. But back then, it wasn't as easy also. I was trapped in a sort of web. Complicated enough to suffocate me (I may not last the night if I wasn't strong enough).
Well, what I did just now was something out of mind. I did feel that it is never appropriate to discuss this L issue over an sms or a phone call. It was not a part of the plan but, arrrghhhh... it was a case of now and never.
Owh, I wanted to let you know the rest of the details but I am now to disheartened to continue typing., And, yeaah, I am sad....

Where my heart belong...

2011-12-06T20:00:00.003+08:00

Do I still have any devout follower?? LOL. When was the last entry? Lemme check.. Owh, I see.. Hahahahaah.. This re-appearance is kinda lame.. Not that I was busy but I have a better avenue to channel my heartbreaks and headaches. What better way to relax after a long working hours entertaining monkeys in school other than a good sleep under my comfy duvet? Well, I do not want to start off by saying sorry for not updating whatsoever...
Life... Hmmm.. It's kinda the same.. Not adventurous as yet.. Right after my youthful studying years, I didn't quite have a chance to travel anywhere. My legs are well-bounded to the confined of the four walls. Thus, I started to lay out a plan; a plan which allows me to set my wings wider. This holiday, I refused to live a same holiday routine. Traveling a year back simply means I went out somewhere with my parents or any close family member by my side. Come on! I am now 25.. Ouch.. That big number.
So, there I was in Bintulu, Dijih and soon Kuching. WRITER's BLOCK... I need an snpiration to continue blogging.. Arrrghhhhh.. Sorry peep... I do have a lot to tell.. Don't worry.. Let me brave these few days to live to tell the tale of mine, of course...Till then.. I promise for a better come back next time...

P/S: Anyway, I haven’t been hanging out with my friends a lot and i feel bad. but being home is such a luxury and i just want to enjoy every minute of it… Because in few weeks time, I would be going back to hell and I am not happy about that. So forgive me if i find lounging at home on the couch surfing through channels on astro more appealing than hanging out in some coffee shop somewhere in town.

CINTA

2011-07-15T00:33:00.000+08:00

Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu sayang
Barulah terasa ku bernyawa

25 and Still Single

2011-07-14T23:45:00.003+08:00

That ugly truth has successfully maintained its irrefutable reputation for nearly 3 decades now. Everyone says that I am every mother-in-law's dream son-in-law which I find very misleading. Or did I read it correctly? It is not the mother-in-law that matters. It is actually the daughters whom I failed to impress.
People too, say I will one day find THE ONE.. I have been waiting and patiently waiting and waiting and the waiting continuous until this very moment but I ended up thinking maybe this is my destiny; to spend my later years all by myself.
I have been attending a lot of weddings. Sometimes, I went teary for a reason which is obvious. I could not even see myself walking down the church aisle with my other half. I could not envision myself saying I DO.
I try to be ignorance of these facts; the fact that I am wanted by nobody; the fact that I am a total NOBODY; the fact that I am a man without woman. It is now so extremely difficult to find a prospective wife. I will probably never marry.

I am coming back home...

2011-07-12T21:00:00.002+08:00

Just wanna say hello... Thanks for still visiting..

What?

2011-04-05T10:13:00.001+08:00

What makes you think I want the things you never have? What about the thing that I want?

2011-04-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

You can't make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it is no longer a mistake. It is a choice.
-Unknown-

Japan, my heart goes out to you

2011-03-15T11:28:00.002+08:00

I could not imagine the agony of the Jap who lost their precious everything in the heartrending twin-natural-disaster epic. The pictures of their misery are everywhere. The tragic videos has significantly intensified my sympathy for these grief-stricken citizen of Japan. What could I reasonably afford to offer other than whispering my prayers through the wind to reach out for them. I am certain that such calamity would only make Japan a stonger nation. History has shown us that Japanese are mighty. This "Land of the Rising Sun" would definitely rise again.

Keloid

2011-03-15T10:40:00.004+08:00

I went to see an Orthopedic Specialist on March 8th last week for the follow-up. He is contented to see that I am in one piece again except for my arm. It has a raised area at the site of my former wound and stitches called keloid. Reddish brown, firm, rubbery and shiny would best describe how does this ugly keloid of mine looks like. Adding to this hideous sight, this benign tumor which has spread well beyond the area of the original wound often accompanied by sharp pain and itching which is awfully uncomfortable.
The solution, according to the passionate specialist, is through steroid injection or through the surgical removal of all the scar tissue. He, however, does not know to WHICH extend would either way help. But, he reassured me that the dermatologist that I would be seeing in May knows what is best for me. He is the Orthopedic Specialist by the way. Let's hear from the dermatologist whose days are committed into perfecting skin.

Sacrifice...

2011-03-15T10:02:00.004+08:00

Our damaged Vios J M

My mum dumped a handsome RM10k for the wrecked Vios J M in no more than a year back. She has again put in the similar amount for her coming, brand new Vios E AT. Within this one year, she has given away her Rm20k for the downpayment for two cars. However, the insurance company would issue a cheque worth RM9k soon. That is the only amount left after they settled the remaining bank loan. That is one good news that has returned my mum her warm smile.

Driving away this beauty next week (Vios E AT)

I was actually heartbroken to see how cheerless she was to give in such a huge amount of capital again for another car within a year. She has to buy a new car for everyone's convenience, especially my aba. He has to ride on his motorcycle and head off to his office on the dusty road which is under maintenance. He sometimes reaches home all wet and soaked. She does not buy the idea of her driving all comfortable to the hospital while her significant other half has to endure these unwarranted circumstances.

Despite the devastating aftermath of the Tanjung Skrang's accident and the uncalled for monetary mayhem, we are now really thankful that we have somehow escaped the thick gratuitious fog with delight.

Bruno Mars

2011-03-15T09:42:00.006+08:00

Boogieing to Bruno Mars' is my current passion at current. His music is awesome. Enough said. The world knows him better.

HTC Desire HD

2011-03-15T09:26:00.003+08:00

Owh. Bidding Samsung Galaxy S II farewell... I don't mean to say goodbye but, this one steals my heart away at one significant instance. I love this Quietly Brilliant Smartphone. I really do. It prides itself as World's Leading Smartphone and yeah, it is World's Best Android Phone. The camera is magnificent. The touchscreen is just awesome. The apps are super-fantastic. Thanks to the versatile Android. I JUST love everything about this rocking-cool HTC creation.

A glimpse of my workplace

2011-03-06T20:42:00.004+08:00

This middle section of the staffroom is mainly occupied by the bachelors and the bachelorettes..

Newly changed rubber mat... Looking good in this picture..

My working area.. I sometimes spent a good 10-hour here...

Samsung Galaxy S II

2011-03-06T15:38:00.008+08:00

I have a bad track record with Samsung mobile phone. I purchased one last time and it gave me a terrible headache. It was a case of a fatal love at the first sight. I did not see it coming that I blindly bought myself one. It took me a painful 3-day to finally traded it in with a Sony Ericsson mobile phone which offered me heaven. Since then, nothing from Samsung line up could capture even my slightest interest.

My previous Samsung SGH E950 (Thought this was my first and last Samsung phone)

It has always been Sony Ericsson not until I found this one. This SAMSUNG GALAXY S II is an exception. It is an exception for such an exceptional smartphone. I do not know what has gotten into me but I want this phone so bad that I am now dying to OWN one. I have wholeheartedly decided to get a set of this brilliant gadget. I'll let you know. Sorry to let you down Sony Ericsson Arc... Anyway, this would be my second most expensive investment so far after my Myvi SE.

Below is the technical details of this superbly outstanding smartphone.

You may want to click on the picture above for a better view.

Corrective surgery??

2011-03-06T14:16:00.008+08:00

From this to

and from this to the one below...

Well, this is how I currently look like. The scar is visibly there. It shows no sign of vanishing fully. I have been religiously applying a whole range of recommended curative gel, oil or ointment which are costly but every end result is equally frustrating. The condition remains the same and seemingly, it would serve as a permanent reminder that I could not live a day without being reminded to the grave accident. As much as I tried not think about it, whenever I looked into the mirror and glanced trough my photos before the accident, at times, it hurts me somehow to see the unwarranted scar on my face. I know that CLEARLY I am not even Brad Pitt's closest match but how I wish the scar is there no more.

I have never thought that the above picture has now become my living memory of my nearly-unblemished face. It wasn't flawless but it surely was a zillion time better than it is now.

My am at present

As much as I hate people knowingly stare at my flecked arm, I have to brave myself wearing short sleeve T-shirt. I have never tried to hide this ugly sight from the public. Although having people to look intently at my bruised arm is no longer an awkward experience, however, their judging eyes make me feel so uncomfortable and sometimes, humiliated. Reading their expression makes me sick to my stomach. They must have thought I have caught a kind of a skin disease due to my poor hygiene or something. Come on, people, I can't afford to tell every pair of gawking eyes that what they are seeing is actually a cruel, unwanted mark of a road mishap.

Day 3 after the road accident.

Day 7

Towards healing....

You have no idea how badly I want my sound arm back...

On Tuesday, the 8th, I would be seeing a specialist again. Perhaps, I might resort to a corrective plastic surgery?

Miracle Blind Massage

2011-01-20T13:42:00.004+08:00

Most of my friends would only go for massage when they are suffering from muscle pull or the like. However, massage appears to be my most breathtaking idea for relaxation.
I visited Miracle Blind Massage regularly. The place is simple with air-conditioner and very clean. I also love the fact that the masseur is really acquainted with what he is doing. Every masseur here has a cert and most importantly, they do have the recognition and accreditation from the Ministry of Health, Malaysia.
This massage centre is nothing like the mushrooming massage parlours everywhere else. So, guys, aspect no China doll here, okay?
Upon leaving the door after a terrific one or two hour of totally out-of-this-world massage session, I would feel so light and rejuvenated which lasts for days. The name, Miracle Blind Massage really speaks for what it stored for in return. Thus, pampering myself for a not-expensive-stress-relieving therapy is now fixed as a must-do monthly activity, at least once a month.

Location:
Opposite ITA College, Jalan Pedada, Sibu.

Operating hour:
9 am - 9 pm on weekdays
9 am -12 pm on weekends
Close on Public Holiday

Best if you could arrange for an appointment. The masseurs are always occupied. Reach them at 084 210 586 / 016 857 7433

Am I its self-appointed ambassador or something? LOL

HBO

2011-01-20T13:11:00.005+08:00

HBO programme list for February is sizzling hot... My eyes would be superglued onto the TV screen for good.. Owh, it is not TV. It's HBO.. Hehe.. I missed quite a number of awesome movies last 2010. So, I better start filling in my mum's handful, empty Tupperware containers with something crunchy and yummie.. Wanna sit back and relax and enjoy the show.. A simple way to enjoy life, is it not?

Painkiller and I

2011-01-19T22:14:00.005+08:00

Since I felt 10 times stronger, I decided to end my nearly-a-month affair with Constant & Tramadol. Guess, I have jumped into a wrong conclusion. My body started to ache. I feel weak. Hmmm... How long do I need to hinge on to either one of those two painkillers? Maybe I need to get myself started with a physical regime from now on. Exercising could probably help. I drugged my system a little bit too much already. Time for cleansing, a thorough one...

Chua Chen Kee

2011-01-19T00:17:00.005+08:00

The aching is consistent and seemingly endless. I finally opted for an alternative remedy. I went to see Chua Chen Kee, an experienced, humble and effective Chinese Physician. He has a very calming voice and his modest consulting room resembles no elegance despite his grandeur reputation as a whiz of traditional healing.
This man is a man who works not for money. He wants only to be of assistance. So, within your capacity, you may evenhandedly give him any amount that you think reasonable.
The treatment lasted for 3 successive days. The process was not at all complicated. It involves nothing eerie or mysterious. No chant whatsoever. He does not need a fancy machine either. His only equipment is his finger.
He first asked me to sit. Then, he expertly worked his skilled finger all over my body t0 fix my problem with a light press on certain point. His consultation took up to 10 minutes the most.
I have completed the final phase today. I do feel a change. It could be a coincidence. But, what matters is, I do feel better. Thanks, old man.

Earning Money

2011-01-18T23:31:00.004+08:00

My way of earning money is self-manipulation at its best. At current, if I depend solely on my salary as a teacher, buy the third week, you would see less of my appearance in kedai kopi. A quarter of it goes to my car. You must be thinking that I have been spending my money prodigiously. Walter must be extravagant and recklessly wasteful.With the amount of money he has, how could he already suffer by ONLY the third week? Does not he has more than sufficient amount of money with him? Dahla tinggal dengan family? Good questions you got there.
Nothing in this world is for free, no? The moment you switched on your car engine, the moment you passed by a toll, the moment you turned on the water pipe, the moment your mouth begins chewing, the moment you lit up your room, the moment you make a phone call, EVERY moment is always tagged with a price.
Staying at my parents' does not exclude me from the responsibilities of paying up for bills, groceries etc. I hardly spend a single cent for myself. If I go for a bowl of kampua, you would see my mum sitting next to me. If you catch a glimpse of me in KFC or Pizza Hut, people could have mistaken me as a father of two lovely kids. Before you knew it, the luxurious 4-digit CASH on the ATM screen would soon become 2-digit.
Thus, I try to find a way out which is, hmmm, easy. As I said earlier on, my way of earning more pocket money is pretty much self-manipulative. Hence, I am making the best out of me. I am now an English teacher not only in SMK Bandar Bintangor but in Top Tuition School as well. 60% from the tuition fee of each student will go directly into my empty wallet.
What is my other way? Well, a lonely, 40-minute drive to my school would be a mind-numbing journey. Moreover, I have to pay for RM6 for a day trip for an overpriced toll bridge. So, this one lucky day, I was approached by a teacher who asked for my mercy to give him a ride, not a free ride but a ride that would add more cash into my account. Now, the journey is truly warmth not only because of his company but his $$$ too. Mind you, he does not have to pay for the car monthly installment. He has to pay for the fuel only. At least my burden is now halved.
I am happier now with my financial situation. I am no tauke. So, I just need to be careful with my spending. I however, do not have to watch too closely where does every ringgit go to. I have a short, great life to enjoy too, right?

3 Idiots & Akeelah and The Bee and

2011-01-18T22:56:00.006+08:00

Dearest fellow teacher,
Are you looking for an inspiration? Or maybe you need a right reason to shedding tears? I would recommend these two movies highly. Let's see how would this two masterpieces change your perspective.
3 Idiots is no ordinary Hindi movie. Of course it is still a typical one if you are talking about the dance and the singing which surprisingly give this movie just a nice, right, balance, But, hey. Hindiphobic, before you decided to exclude this movie from your cart, just give it a chance it truly deserved. You would not regret it. I can't be more sure than I already am. You will LOoooVEeeeeeeeeeeeee it.. Trust my judgment.
Akeelah and the Bee is also superfantastic. I indebted to Cg. Lucia for introducing me to such a legendary movie. Oooppsie.. I have not returned you your DVD which I have kept for about 2 months. My sincerest apology. I will hand it back in one piece when I come back to school this Friday. Anyway, this movie reminded me to its equal greatness which is The Great Debator. Gosh, so many brilliant movies to be watch out there.
Well, both movies may not turn you simply into just another fair person, but in my case, I learn a painful lesson of unequal opportunity. Don't hesitate. Just watch them, will you? Hehehe.. Then, come back to me.. Let me hear from you.. Tell me how you feel...

Something the Lord Made

2011-01-18T22:41:00.003+08:00

This movie is EXCEPTIONAL and PHENOMENAL!!! Just watched it on HBO HD few seconds back. These two verses really leave me with a huge impact!!
"You don't really live unless you have a lot to regret."
"We see it everyday, but it does not make it any easier, does it?"

Decision is Made

2011-01-18T21:04:00.004+08:00

I have wholeheartedly decided!! This would be it. It would only reach Malaysia market in the next three months. The waiting would be tormenting but a worthwhile one I hope. IF I could not get this particular piece, then, the one below would be it ONLY replacement.

Remaining Pieces

2011-01-13T11:19:00.003+08:00

What I found while washing my hair this morning was a bit shocking. There were remaining pieces of crushed glass from the accident left on my scalp which explains the discomfort I experienced whenever I kneaded my head. Not one, not two but several pieces affixed unknowingly neat onto my scalp. I gently pulled them out; trying my very best to reduce the pain. The size of each was astonishing. It came out like a rice grain, luckily with blunt edges. I hope my body is now glass-free.

Latest craze

2011-01-12T22:45:00.004+08:00

When it comes to decision making, it has always been the hardest. I have been browsing on the best qwerty, slider mobile phone on the internet for these couple of weeks like a mad men; sorting through results and reading reviews. Initially, I thought I would stick to Sony Ericsson Xperia X2. Apparently, other brand name has caught my attention fairly well. There is an array of selection with different features. For a matter of fact, one mobile phone does have one strength that makes the other counterparts look bad. And because of this SINGULAR STRENGTH that every desired phone has, it makes decision making even tougher. Thus, I really need to focus on its practicality as well as its functionality. I do not want to make a wrong deal and judgment here. At this very second, I still could not decide which mobile phone offers me the best of everything. Would it be Nokia E7, Motorola Milestone 2, Nokia N900 or Sony Ericsson Xperia X2? Help me please, to make a definitive pick!!

Sony Ericsson Xperia X2

Nokia N900

Motorola Milestone 2

Nokia E7

Pain

2011-01-12T21:31:00.004+08:00

Enduring the pain that I am experiencing from one second to another is almost unbearable now. I feel like giving up on nursing the wound on my upper right arm especially. Showering is no longer a wonderful moment. I have to be meticulous not to wet my injured arm.
The fault is mine though. If I did not show up in the school for two days, the abrasion might not turn as bad. I did not suppose to take the wheel quite yet or even write on the blackboard. The consequence is devastating. Every move that I make, pay. At this instant, I have to bear the effect of my deed.
The lesion on my arm looked bad. Thus, sleeping can never be as sound. Moving my right hand would lead me to writhing in pain. Adding to my wretchedness, my left knee has begun to swell perhaps because of excessive walking and too much standing while teaching.
My visit to Orthopedic Specialist ended up with me being given a week of Medical Leave which I terribly need as recommended by the specialist from Sibu Hospital. He in fact wanted to assign me a meeting with a physiotherapist to which I declined.
A week leave simply means other teachers have to take care of my duty. I feel so bad because I would need to trouble my colleague to get some of my work done. I am the class teacher. Every teacher knows how hectic it is for the first few weeks of the year after the school re-open. My students are also at lost. My sincerest apology for causing such an inconvenience. I do believe that they understand my predicament and for that I thank each and every one of you profoundly.
Wondering how would t be like without painkiller? Guess it would be too much to put up with... O, Lord.. Ease my pain......

My Cart: Fulfilling my 2011 Wish List

2011-01-09T00:47:00.003+08:00

I think it is time to reward myself with these gadgets.
Have been dreaming to own them for so long and I do not think I could wait any longer. February is the time.

Celebrating FRIENDSHIP

2011-01-09T00:05:00.005+08:00

I was very happy to actually spend a good one hour with my dearest friends. Their visit was totally unexpected. Earlier on, they did try to reach me via my mobile phone which was left in my bedroom. So, they contacted Jimmy to ask for the direction to get to my home. They even asked Ambun for direction as well. Haldeah, Deal, Sasha, Ash, and of course Jimmy, THANKS A LOT!!!! Owh yea, makseh to Deah's sister too... I was so excited to see them around that I found myself stuttering. I am still very happy at this very moment that I can't even close my eyes. I feel so much loved!
We human can't really stay as one. We do neeed people to lift up our spirit. Weeks ago, Dhiya and his father-in-law came for a visit. Dhiya visited me again for the second time a day after Christmas with his housemate, Awang. Their warm presence left me with a very similar effect. With such heartwarming souls around, I felt no pain at all. Listening to their reassuring voices really put me at ease. I felt so lighthearted.
When Dylan called, it was another uplifting moment. This dude really knows how to touch my soft spot. Thanks, bud! Like others, you also made my day! Come Robin, Kim, Safa, Ina, Dewi, Sap, Yanna and Nana whom constantly monitored my well-being from afar. Do you know that you guys are my ROCK STARSS?? I do now value and place our friendship at its highest.
And to YOU to who keeps on praying for my recovery, thanks a lot. Luvly Coh. 4, thanks for your overpouring prayers. I am now ready to face the world again because of each and everyone of you.

Let these photos speak on my behalf...

2011-01-06T16:12:00.002+08:00

Blogger: Making my HeaRt audiBle.. Through mistake I learnt greatly, through YoU I walked Steadily - Create Post

Thank You

2011-01-05T10:13:00.003+08:00

I can't thank everyone enough for what they have done. My heartfelt gratitude goes to:

My father who has committedly devoted his entire time to look after me
My lil' brother, Arthur who has been a great caretaker
My mum for patiently nursing me so well
My auntie, Ibuk Lado for her undivided care and concern
Apai Angel & family for generously supporting us
Apai Stephanie & family, Apai Brenda & family, Apai Ernest & family for praying for me religiously and constantly
Everyone of Rumah Entiri for being so supportive of me
Friends and relatives
People of Tanjung Skrang
Betong Hospital
Sibu Hospital
So many others kind-hearted and heartwarming person

Thank you so very much for all those get-well wishes, prayers and encouragement, for all you've said and done, for taking the trouble to bring me joy. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you...

You don’t care

2011-01-05T10:10:00.000+08:00

I am so disheartened that you did not even bother to come and to pay me a visit at such a trying time. I do not expect you to come with a basket full of fruits from every corner of the earth. All I need is your encouragement. I need you to support me morally. I need to listen to your get-well wishes. I need to feel your warmth. I do believe that you knew it so very well how good words may put one’s spirit on a pedestal, no? And hey, none of those would cost you a penny. At its slightest, a sms that reads “Can’t wait to see you on your feet again!” would do. Outwardly, you are a very thoughtful person. Apparently, your true-self has surfaced itself. Slowly, I get to learn that you are after all not a compassionate person. Maybe I am so unimportant, so insignificant or extremely irrelevant thus I do not deserve a moment of your so precious time. One day, if such a thing happens to you, I will show you what compassion and empathy are.

Heartless lady doctor

2011-01-05T10:07:00.001+08:00

I would not be appalled to see people leaving hospital with a very sour face. How would they not if upon their visit for consultation, follow-up and what not, all they get was a stern remark from a doctor whom they regard to the highest degree? Supposedly, a hospital is where a person may find a peace of mind partly because people know that they are in a good hand with great doctors around them. Ironically, with their already frail condition, their suffering is made double. When the patient inquisitively-but-reverently asked for their godly-professional opinions about their well-being, the doctor shouts and yells at them. They make fun of them. They make faces. They even walked away so inconsiderately leaving their clients helplessly weeping in pain.

Where does this come from? I was on my third visit to a nearby clinic for a follow-up. So, after a nerve-racking waiting that took everlastingly forever, I finally got a chance to see a doctor. When my name was summoned, I respectfully greeted the doctor a warm “Good morning,” in which I received a mute responds. Maybe she didn’t hear me.

What came next was totally unanticipated. I told her that I needed a couple of days of SICK LEAVE because I could hardly walk and stand. How do you expect me to teach and control my students in such a weak state? Furthermore, my injured right arm would not allow me to hold a chalk and even take the wheel quite yet. It is a 40-minute drive to reach my school, ok. These were the missing facts that this lady doctor has unexpectedly failed to acknowledge. Out of a blue, after she glanced through my discharge summary, she provocatively questioned my request. She said that my arm could not be in pain since it was not stated in my discharge summary.

Owh, come on! Couldn’t you see the obvious? My arm was all wrapped up. I walked like an aging old man. Did you need me to scream in anguish to prove that I AM still in PAIN? Or maybe you needed a more dramatic evidence like walking into you room with my hand wiggling and bleeding? Only then would you be satisfied? Doctor dear, the one whom should get the blame is your fellow colleague who did not wholly provide you with such a great details. And, mind you! I am not A PART of your flawed system which you have unknowingly highlighted and made more apparent with your defective manner. For goodness sake, I am you client; an unfairly and unkindly treated client. Erm, let us not pin down the guilty party here.

Looking at the situation again, all I asked from her was to responsibly grant me a couple of days of sick leave. Before I left the room, I too asked for few necessary medications that may facilitate my recovery which slipped through my mind at first. She annoyingly and disgustingly looked at me and barked “Why didn’t you mention about it earlier?”

It was a direct pang. She ruined my day. Only if you mercifully and graciously nurse me, my wound might as well heal instantly. I have suffered enough. I do not need more. You do not have to intensify my misery. SEE!!! WHAT HAVE YOU UNJUSTLY DONE to the rest of the other doctors whom have compassion in their hearts?

P/S: May I suggest you to redefine the word D.O.C.T.O.R? Make it noble.

An accident That NEARLY Takes my Soul Away

2011-01-05T08:38:00.004+08:00

This unfortunate event happened on December 19^th 2010 at 1720 hours at Tanjung Skrang, Sri Aman-Betong route. As yet, I could not rub out any part of these fear-provoking details from my reminiscence. That day would remain as an unyielding reminder that I have been given a second chance. Let me first describe what had actually happened.
Earlier that morning, my mum and I was in Kota Samarahan, attending my aunt’s wedding reception. After that excellent wedding do, I slept for nearly 2-hour before hitting the road home. It was 2.20 in the afternoon when we started my journey home after visiting my grandparents’ burial ground. After driving for two and a half hours, my mum suggested we took a minute or two in Lachau. There, we enjoyed a bowl of noodle each. The journey continued until we reached our next stop which was Jelukong. I gulped a can of cold 100 Plus which I found so refreshing. So, I was physically sound.
As we moved on, we witnessed two road accidents which definitely sent chill to my spine. It had never crossed my mind that the third one would involve us. Suddenly, after a 15-minute drive, I saw an Avanza fast approaching from the opposite direction. I saw that particular MPV skidded into my lane and within split second, "PANGGGGGGG." A sudden silence blanketed us.
As I regained my consciousness, the pain, the shock, everything were indescribable. Opening my eyes had never felt that difficult in my lifetime. I could not talk as my chest was in terrible pain. I somehow managed to say these few words which I vividly remember, "Mummy, ukai salah aku mummy." The very next thing I did was to press the honk.
I was lucky that the passers-by were very helpful. They took out the car battery and carefully dragged my wounded mum out of the badly smashed car. The people from nearby longhouse also rushed over and tried their very best to take me out from the car. Their attemps however, failed.
While waiting for the ambulance to come, my mum managed to make few calls, alerting the rest of my family of what had just happened. A moment later, from afar, I heard a relieving ambulance siren buzzing. Despite her horrific condition, she washed their hands of. She did not want to leave me alone and insisted the people to take her boy to safety and would only agree to leave the scene with me. The medical team, on the other hand, persistently told my mum that she had to go first and reassured her that I would be in the good hand. They took my mum to the nearest hospital which was Betong Hospital.
There I was, trapped in the appalingly damaged car, painfully waiting for the fireman to come for the rescue. I spent not a single second alone. There were people around whom promised me that things would definitely turn out to be better. I was also being consoled by a lady who is a Sister Nurse working in Hospital Betong. She grabbed my bleeding hand and patted my back and whispered to my ears that everything will be okay. By some means, the unbearable pain subsided.
Finally, the fireman arrived. The process was not easy. It took them nearly 30-minute to successfully take me out unharmed. After about an hour and a half of tormenting waiting, I was then rushed to Betong Hospital.
The ambulance ride was not pleasant at all. It was so bouncy and sharp pain started to attack me from every corner of my body. The pain was getting more and more unbearable. How much longer would I be able to withstand this shooting twinge? After that 10-minute gruesome ride which felt like hours, I arrived at Emergency Room, just in time.
I was immediately attended to by a trauma team. They ripped opened my clothes and continued with the necessary medical emergency procedures. The entire process was the longest and the most painful EVER.
In sum, I received 11 stitches on my upper right arm. My right cheeks were severely scratched. Bruises, scars and deeps wounds were pretty well noticeable. I spent a night in Betong Hospital and was discharged the next morning because I needed to make a police report. I spent another night in Sibu Hospital the day later. In Sibu Hospital, I went through a very thorough medical examination. I went for X-Ray, Ultrasound and CT Scan. To my relief, I was free from any fracture. There was only a minimal liquid discharge observable between my kidney and liver. The doctor said it is something that I should not worry about. I was discharged from the Male Surgical Ward in the afternoon the next day after the doctor was done with his final examination on me. I was unable to stand, bend and stretch my body for the first week of the accident. Every little movement would cost me an insufferable pain.
It has been 3-week after the accident that nearly takes my life away. At present, I feel so much better. I could already walk around but I need to watch every step very carefully. I do still experience the pain on my right rib ecspecially when I cough and bend my body. Standing up is still another challenge. I need to rest for another couple of days before I come back to work.

2011

2011-01-05T08:35:00.002+08:00

Abundant

2010-11-22T00:40:00.002+08:00

I have not made my heart heard for a long period of time. This personal space of mine has seemingly been abundant. Unintentionally actually. I could not find any suitable reason though for momentarily leaving this little sanctuary of mine for couple of months. I have so much to say and so much to write about. I have seen so many things be it good or bad while leaving this blogsite unattended to. Well, I would not dare to say "Hey, fella! I am back." But, yeah, I really have something to say. Otherwise, my heart would soon burst. like Kaboooooommmmm... If you could wait, I'll come out with a piece of new update later. Chow...

Weird feelin'

2010-09-02T16:23:00.003+08:00

Gosh... Sorry dear readers (if any, LOL). I have not been updating my blog for ages. I am still very much alive. If that is ur concern, so, that may now be the least of ur worries. Hehehe..
Working? How does it feel like? If you want an honest answer, IT SUCKSSSSSSSSSSS!! Yea, maybe being financially independent is what everyone is after. I WAS too and I am no longer now. So what if I received 2K++ by the end of the month?
I am grateful but, gosh, I really really miss those days when I was in UKM or IPBL or even when I was in my high school years. The world of a working adult offers me a challenge that I could hardly face. When would I really start liking this forever-gruesome career?
Since my kindie, I have been in school for more than 3-quarter of my life and now, there I am again for another 30/40 years... Maybe this was how it felt like entering kindie for the first time... And for goodness sake, this is only my 2nd month working. How many decades to go? Don't reveal me the number. And, how on earth do you think I could bear that fact? The fact that I would celebrate my golden age in SCHOOL?????? I am turning 25 now but I may sound like a baby. It is hard doing something that you HAVE to do... Only if I do this because I WANTED TO...

Am I not ready?

2010-07-27T15:25:00.002+08:00

My first day in school was fine. The second day was horrible since I got to start teaching. My third day was better but the fourth day was again horrifying. I got so little inspiration to keep going. I am reconsidering to divert from this path that I have chosen. It is not after all easy. Not as easy as I thought it would be. Whatever decision that I shall make, I hope that it would not be the stupid one.

World Cup 2010

2010-07-13T10:19:00.002+08:00

An international event that is so much known for its immense power to bring people together. Mmmm, it does also separate people... LOL.. Well, I got to watch few matches and of course the lame final too.. I did experience those goosebumps moment when I expected a goal from my fav team. I did sigh too when a player did not manage to perfect the finishing. Yeah, I stayed up late and I shared the grief, the joy and the excitement of WC 2010 with zillion others out there, though not as much, but I did. Hehehe..
I do not know much about football though but I could be so unexpectedly involved in giving comments on few matches that I watched. HAHahahahahahaha.. Considering my very little knowledge on this phenomenal sports, it was OK that I somehow managed to sustain the football-related conversation.
It is now over. Housewives may be in total control of remote control again. It could be the end for most of us but the world is already eyeing for World Cup 2014 in Brazil. Every country has already started to maneuver their strategy. Who would be the next World Champ? Would Paul the Octopus continuously cast his spell and magic? :O: I wanted to see Korea and Japan to be enlisted in the semi-final at least. Brazil, see ya..

Roughly a week to go....

2010-07-13T09:44:00.002+08:00

My life is about to change in no time soon. Gosh, I better keep up with the pace, praying religiously that I would be ever to go along well with this journey that I have chosen. I know, what lies ahead of me would be challenging and testing; teenagers who think they do not need teachers, teachers who would bully me into doing all sort of things, uncooperative parents and lots more. But, I will not lay down my arms and admit defeat. Someone told me that I am a great teacher, waiting to be given a chance. And yeah, I surely AM!!!

Myvi 1.5 Limited Edition

2010-07-10T11:08:00.003+08:00

So true??? Sooooo false???????? Let's wait for this Myvi 1.5 Limited Edition... Maybe available in April 2011..

Gluttony...

2010-07-08T12:36:00.004+08:00

It is a misplaced desire of food or its withholding from the needy which is considered as one of the SEVEN DEADLY SINS in Christianity. Gosh.. Guess I fit these five criterion so well as mentioned by St. Gregory, the Church Doctor.. Hehehehe..

1. Eating before the time of meals in order to satisfy the palate.

2. Seeking delicacies and better quality of food to gratify the "vile sense of taste."

3. Seeking after sauces and seasonings for the enjoyment of the palate.

4. Exceeding the necessary amount of food.

5. Taking food with too much eagerness, even when eating the proper amount, and even if the food is not luxurious.

In short, I shall not be enslaved by my own burning desire for more.. Need to practice temperance..

Two weeks more..

2010-07-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

Will be going to Kuching again this coming 20th, maybe for one last time for posting-related event, hopefully. I am more thrilled to go to Kuching actually because I have fallen so hard for this just-lovely city. LOL.. However, I will be there for my posting briefing. I will not have time to go for sight-seeing or food-hunting. Duhh~~
We will be staying in Rajah Court Hotel for that 3-day briefing. Praying hard that the briefing would not be dragging. Otherwise, I would fall asleep effortlessly.. I get to set my mind right. IT IS A BRIEFING.. Not a lullaby.. But,just can't help it sometimes... Hahaha...
Anyway, the school would only be unveiled to us on the 22nd, the last day of the briefing. Now, that makes it difficult for us. I am told that we would be going to our respective school right after we open the posting letter. Why aren't we being informed earlier so that we could prepare or arrange for our accommodation etc if we get posted to a place far from home. Or maybe, that is a hint that our future school is not too far away from our home?
When I revisited my heart again, I guess I am ready to be posted just about anywhere. Hopefully I will be able to make it through no matter what awaits me. God, I pray that the new environment would not be too harsh on a freshie like me.. Be gentle...

Baseless

2010-07-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

Hmmmmm… How can a person simply say a thing without even thinking? I did not expect an insightful research or something but at least try to be fair. No fun, huh? Because so unfortunate that people of this sort find it more appealing to spread unjustified, groundless rumors like bushfire. It is RUMOR by the way. How could it be vindicated? However, anything that is said against you is defensible ONLY IF you are at the right side and let’s talk along this line.

I relentlessly find it funny that slanderer does not even know what they are talking about. They have the faintest of idea on what is going on. Silly? LOL… When you asked them “Where does that come from?” At its best, they would stammer and start to point finger or at its worst, they could outrageously and irresponsibly come out with more unreasonable, absurd statements.

They will never be tired, believe me. The more you wanted them to retract their foolish remarks, the more they try to irk you. They would love to see you rounding the bend and react negatively. They wanted to see you bursting and retorting madly. Do not let them. It is wise to cool down. Compose yourself. You are at the right side, remember? Do not waste your time thinking about those STUPID JOKES by the retard and the brainless. They are, right? Because they do not even know what they are talking about. How else to best describe a retard? LOL…

Better don’t be one..

2010-07-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

I have been trying to peacefully handle a naysayer, a gloomy Gus, a worrywart, a.. mmmm, what else do you call them? Owh yea, a wet blanket, a fusspot, a nag, a complainer and my list may go on and on and on. I personally find a person who is so exaggeratedly unenthusiastic and cynical as PATHETIC and soooooooooo not pitiable. Should I feel sorry for them? You think? Gosh, how I want to smack their heads and blow them a quick, hard punch so that they could at least see light even in the bleakest hours of darkness!

There is hope as long as you are breathing. You have to work for it. If at the very first, critical stage you are already so appallingly negative, you have actually chosen to make it hard for you. Yeah, I understand truly that you have to weigh up every factor before moving on. But, just do not freak out too easily. Hey, everything comes with a risk. It is a kind of a combo that is indivisible. Unless the risk is clearly jeopardizing, no one would advise you to carry on, you see.

And my advice to those who do not have the guts at all to face up the challenge, can you please kindly SHUT YOUR STINKING MOUTH? Spare others who dare to make an effort for a more promising life a moment of peace, ok? Do not corrupt their mind with your senseless conclusion. But, I know it is hard to keep mum since nagging is what you do best.

Stepping ahead is about trying and making things happen. Being confident is difficult but never concedes defeat not until you see the result for yourself. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT LIES AHEAD OF YOU UNLESS YOU GOT THE NERVE TO SEE THE SIGHTS YOURSELF. Keep on trying. Forget your unsuccessful attempts but count on the sweat and the courage and the effort that you have put in. Everything that you do is a moral fiber and will certainly make a very inspirational, triumphant story of your journey. You have no idea how much your attempt would change the life of others. In the end, you may laugh at your spinelessness and almost un-heroic act for so easily accepting defeat at the beginning of your voyage.

Overtly negative reaction…

2010-07-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

I am so much wound up by a person who nitpicks on a very simple matter. Say I nicely and thoughtfully suggest we go for a nice pizza for dinner. What I get in return is everything but kind words. You start to lament how bad pizza is for my health. You start to grumble that I can’t think of any other place other than a fast-food restaurant. You begin to find fault in my only ONE, SIMPLE, SUPPOSEDLY-UNCONTROVERSIAL suggestion. Emmm, by the way, do you even know what a suggestion is at the first place? (SMIRK)

COME ON! What the heck? I just say that I am considering to have pizza for dinner. THAT’S ALL. I did not say that WE MUST GO TO PIZZA FOR DINNER. Those are two very different lines. They are poles apart for goodness sake. Why have you chosen to be so tactless and spiteful when peace is an option that you shall opt for? Then are you happy with the tense atmosphere that you have just created?

Ok, OK, OKAY!! FINE, fine.. I got it Mr. /Mrs. Right. Maybe that is your definition for a FUN DINNER with your frame of mind ruined by your very own ridiculous responses. Please, please, please be more sensitive next time and PLEASE NEVER, NEVER, NEVER be too quick in calculating the whole situation. Just watch your mouth, will you?

Movie-goer

2010-06-29T10:40:00.000+08:00

I am a movie-maniac. I constantly check for what is up-to-the-minute in the cinema. Thank you to the Internet that keeps me updated. After I heard of what would be aired in the cinema from the radio or perhaps from the TV advertisement or maybe from the local daily, I will then watch the trailer which is easily accessible from YouTube. Then, I find it necessary to go through the review or critics of the movie. Normally, this is how it goes. If I am so interested with the movie, I probably make it through all of that just as fast as the list reads. Hehehehe..

In Sibu, the only cinema that I would go to is King’s Trioplex. I am left with not much option either. I could only go to King’s Trioplex or Star Cineplex. The later has never amused me. However, the theatrical experience offered by King’s Trioplex is barely adequate to gratify my passion for a high-end sound system on the High Definition screen. I am quite flustered somehow with the underrated quality of the cinema. Not only the uncomfortable, fabric chair ripped me from my supposedly-treasured-movie-moment but the people who watch the movie get on my nerves a hell lot!!! Smoking in the cinema is not rare in Sibu. Switching their mobile phone to at least the silent mode is also a culture that is hardly embraced. Talking as loud as the speaker inside the cinema is not another alien, frustrating encounter. Despite all that, I am still very eager to be the first to watch the latest and most-talk-about movie in the cinema. Watching it on TV is different unless my house is equipped with an impressive home-theatre system.

A Degree in B.Ed TESL (Hons.)

2010-06-29T10:36:00.000+08:00

Every so often, I purposely threw this question to some of my friends to seek for their views on this modest feat that we share. “How do you feel about obtaining your degree soon?” Some scarcely see any value of it. Some could hardly feel just about anything. Some even unenthusiastically respond to my lame question. I wonder what makes a degree holder feel so disgraceful. Is it because education at any level is so easily obtained? Then, OUM is at fault? Huhuhu.. Or maybe because by the end of this course we do not have to even bother to think about job-hunt? Thus makes this ownership of B.Ed TESL Degree less exciting? Or is it because it is JUST a DEGREE? Therefore, it does not worth a respect or an admiration at least? Emmm, with ado respect, before I proceed any further, I do understand that everyone does entitle to his or her own opinion and I also understand clearly that we hold a different value. Hence, this resulted in mix-response, expectedly.

When I asked myself, “What does it mean to have a piece of paper embedded with such a title on it?” I feel a bit teary by some means. So, again, what does it mean to have a piece of paper embedded with such a title on it? Pride? Honour? Grace? Personally, I am happy that I have advanced myself to this level because it is not that easy though but not entirely difficult as well. I have a long, long windy passage ahead of me. This is just a beginning of another more breathtaking sail. So much like him and her and you, I do have a plan for my future too. A master degree and almost certainly a PHD will be coming up next.

I did not quite answer the question yet, right? O.K. I’ll spill it. At one point, it is unbelievable. This is something that I have been working on for the past six-year. Now, I am reaping what I have sown. Shouldn’t I be at least contented? Guess I should. Being happy simply means I do acknowledge the Greater power that keeps me at bay. Thanks, Lord. Smiling for this blessing also signifies that I do acknowledge everyone behind this successful journey. Nevertheless, I will not be too swollen with pride because this accomplishment is in fact only the beginning and in comparison with other more remarkable feats out there, mine is almost nothing. However, looking at my personal triumph per se, this is something I should be proud of.

So what if you have a degree one may ask. This is my most honest answer. No matter what I feet, I should be able to see the bigger picture of this six years voyage. This piece of paper is not just a piece of paper to my parents. It is not only another certificate. It represents their investment. It represents their sweat. It is the reflection of their commitment. It marks another phase of their successful stories. To the local community, it serves as an eye-opener, as a brainwave, an inspiration to keep going. I may fit very well in the Iban hall of fame for this very little achievement.

Academic excellence may not be the only thing but it is my everything. Unlike others who are good in business, who can sing or dance or do sports or have a very strong financial background, they can further flourish their faculty sometimes later in the future even without this insignificant degree. I, on the other hand, have nothing else to rely on but my scholastic merit and my EQ expertise that would be the plus point. Likewise, seeing my parents shimmering smile whenever the final exam result is announced better explains why high grade is so significant to me. That also explains why my face turns purple and grey when there is a cutback in my score. So, I shall value the Degree scroll that I am about to receive this August. My CGPA might not be as astounding but I am pleased to harvest what I have planted. So, 3.60 it is and I am a proud Dgree holder of Bachelor of Education in TESL. There are more to come.. There are more…

Concert-goer

2010-06-29T10:34:00.000+08:00

When I was in Kuala Lumpur, possibly, I would not want to miss any live concert though I missed plenty actually. Hehe.. Luckily, I was however granted free accesses to few mini showcases by an artist that I so immensely love. You know whom, don’t you? I got to attend big event like Anugerah Juala Lagu and Konsert Inspirasi TV3 as well. Am I qualified to christen myself a concert-goer? No?? Hehe.. I love to be surrounded by the magnificent, hysterical liveliness and applaud from the ever supportive crowd. I can’t imagine how crazy it felt to be on the stage while your diehard fans scream for your name at the top at their lung. At least, I did that. Hehehehe…

Besides, I am, for ever and a day, enchanted by the flawless and heartrending sound system that contributes a great deal to the success of a concert. On top of that, the outstanding, dazzling lighting does play an essential part as well. A special credit shall be awarded to the excellent musician too. Plus the divine and tuneful vocal of the singer that accompanies you throughout the concert will make everything so rousing and exceptionally stimulating. And, yeah, the ever-so-enchanting choreography of the graceful dancer troop would multiply the spectacular effect of the show. Overall, when each and every of these elements effectively combined, it would lucratively create an incredible stage presentation and a stupendous concert phenomenon.

Only one thing and this thing along hold me from keeping with this passion of mine, TIGHT BUDGET. Anyway, thank you that today’s digitalized world has made it possible to virtually attend a concert, any concert for that matter.

Since I am financially unsound, I would be thankful to a bunch of friends whom generously share their startling concert collections with me. Or else, the presence of DVD for instance, sufficiently satisfies my craving for a great music scene. I habitually watch the same concert that I invest a special personal interest in cyclically. One of it is 10 Years of Westlife: Live Concert at Croke Park Stadium. I have been watching this very booming, exhilarating concert by any definition for a gazillion of time for a reason that is only so dear to me, so close to my heart. I love their heavenly, harmony voices, Shane in particular. Besides, each of the song is sung from the very bottom of their beautiful hearts. Each and every word sang is very evocatively expressed. You do not have to listen too closely to feel the magic of their phenomenal singing prowess. I am so moved by their songs in which I always find my inspiration in.

Everything from the very first second till the very end of this concert is just so glorious and BRAVURA. I WISH that ONE DAY, I WILL BE ABLE TO ATTEND THIS SORT OF CONCERT if not a better one. O Lord, You know I want this so terribly bad!!!! Do hear me, yea? Wink2.. How I wish I have such a great and soothing vocal so that one day I may lullaby SOMEONE to a peaceful and sound sleep.. Hehehe..

Despite my greater affection for Siti, it is reasonable to question why didn’t I watch her concert all over again instead. Her vocal ability is of course pleasant-sounding and godly. Her singing talent opens to no discussion. Only if her concert could match up to the level like her Idol, Celine Dion or maybe her Asian counterpart like Raymond Lam, then, fine. I always find her concert quite lame sometimes. Look at Jay Chow’s. Walaweiiiii… It is indeed a jaw-dropping, futuristic concert. He is able to bring tomorrow’s concert today. Maybe your internationally graced concert in Royal Albert Hall, London follows behind but not closely though. Ooppsie.. Sorriee, darling. Honestly, I need more stimulating visual, more stirring energy, more of the unexpected and more technical display from you. You are in fact an ASIAN MEGASTAR thus I expect more from you. Money has always been an issue. You ended up relying on a set of not so impressive stage and a so-so technical present.

But, you are so damn lucky, babe. Your million ringgit smile and your singing is after all, the most sought after treasure in every of your concert. Your insanely gifted sweet vocal performance accelerates the sell of your fast sold-out tickets. I truly appreciate your hard labour to put up a good show. In any performance like Juara Lagu your creativity really shows. Your showmanship makes you a step ahead from your local colleague. You have never failed to captivate the audience. The cheer for you grows louder day by day. You have been trying to make Malaysia, THE music power house. You always have something new to flaunt. You fully utilize every resource you have regardless how small. Whenever you hit the stage, you perform like it is your last show. You give it all you have. That impressed me too…

One day, I hope that you could prove to the world that Dato Siti Nurhaliza’s Concert is internationally catching. One day, who knows if Mariah Carey finds her inspiration for her upcoming concert from watching yours? Wink2..

DREAM BIG

2010-06-28T13:03:00.001+08:00

I guess any other dreams are possible but not this one. I dream that one day I shall be leisurely holding a chilled can of beer, facing the breezy blue sea while having 2 or 3 hot ladies massaging me softly. My private jet is not too far away. I am surrounded by the world greatest think-tank and thus, I need not to worry about just anything; E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. will be well-taken care off; from the temperature of the water filling in my larger-than-life bathtub, to the stunning glow of the floor that I would be stepping on...
While others are busy with managing my next-new-exciting adventure, all I need to do is just enjoying every moment. Money is pouring in without me working hard for it. Globe-wide traveling is no longer a thrill as I have visited every exotic and world wonder. Perhaps, something new and only-for-the-rich like, mmmm. I don't know.. hahahaha.. is something I shall venture on. Skydiving maybe? Too cheap perhaps if I have a gazillion and fictitious of $$$$ with me.. Eating lavishly, sleeping poshly, driving luxuriously... Everything is affordable.. No amount is too much.. Dream on, Walter.. LOL...

I miss...

2010-06-28T10:50:00.000+08:00

Thanks God that I was chosen to join UKM-IPGKBL link programme. I was able to experience living independently in 2 different but equally exciting places. Studying in UKM may not be as electrifying as studying abroad but yeah, I loved it there as much as I love Kuching.
Right at his very moment, I kinda miss my life as a student. It was a totally carefree life. My only concern other than studying and maintaining my grade was making sure than I got my assignments done. Perhaps, less than a quarter of my youthful undergrad's life was dedicated to 'learning,' the rest was for entertainment. a
What I love the most and in fact still is, was sight-seeing. I love going to new places and trying new food. Catching up with new movies was also a must. Window-shopping was a pleasure too. I was trying not to miss any free concert or show as well.
Right now, I miss not only my perfectly lighthearted and insanely blithe world, but I wanted to be in KL so bad. Whenever I go to Sibu town, I always find it so unbeliavably empty and uninteresting. You have only a choice or two and mybe after about a minute or so, you are left with nothing much. I have been going to and roaming around the same old places sesnselessly for the past 2 decades.
And as the food lover, I can't help but to continuoulsy lament on the little variety of food that Sibu has to offer. Fine, I love kampua and kompia plus one or two other local delicacies. But I am a big fan of Western cuisine too. Of this, I could only drool when my mind wanders to as far as Tony Romas, Chillis, San Fransisco Pizza, Sushi King, Domino's Pizza and the like.. Shall I include the mamak stall too that sells a yumylicious Nan Kima and as well as few Chinese Restaurants that offer a surprisingly reasonable deal?
Sibu however offers me a peace of mind. It is indeed a very tranquil place unlike KL which is a sleepless city. My point is, I love STAYING in Sibu and to accommodate my young and restless soul, a place like KL is where I need to be..

Lost SOul

2010-06-26T23:18:00.001+08:00

-No update-

24..

2010-06-17T18:18:00.000+08:00

24 is not just a pair of number. Hitting 24 makes me feel much more learned. For the past 23 years, a thousand and one eventful feat has impacted my life significantly. The bittersweet life-enhancing experiences have made my life so colourful. I am now transforming into a man. A man who everyone will find reliable, I pray.
I am still very young though. What lies ahead of me is still very mysteriously kept. However, I would not trouble my mind by inquisitively digging for what tomorrow has to offer. I will walk this interesting journey of life with courage, passion and patience.
I feel very much honoured and appreciated. Even before June 17th, I have been attending advanced birthday dinners continuously beginning June 15th. In fact, I have been receiving precious birthday gifts since last February. Thanks a million. Thanks everyone for the thumbs-up effort. I am very touched!!!
Guess I have more than enough 24th birthday cakesssss... I have been well-fed too. Every dinner + a birthday lunch are so lovely!! Thanks for the effort to make my day special. I could not ask for a better celebration.
I too have been occupied with replying smses and birthday wishes on facebook and email. Feel so overwhelmed by the heart-warming birthday wishes. Thanks. Thank you very much everyone!!!!

You

2010-06-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

Missing YOU....

Eating excessively...

2010-06-07T21:06:00.000+08:00

Being educated, I feel just the otherwise. I feel so horribly bad. I feel so foolish because knowing the perilous consequences of heavy eating does not have quite a desirable effect on my dangerous eating habit. I have been insanely eating like there is no tomorrow. My lust over food is increasing by day, hardly reaching the finishing line. What would stop me? Would the dreadful news of being diagnosed with obesity-related diseases wake me up? Till then, how can I possibly run away from my deadly eating habit? This endless craving and desire for tonnes of food is nothing but self-damaging. Come on, Walter. WAKEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! Just before it is too late...

I SEE LIGHT..

2010-06-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness...

Well-Paid Off...

2010-06-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

When helping others is common, what you will get in return would always surprise you. It may be in the form of sweat, time or money. Either one is like winning a jackpot and each may start with your very little contribution to make others' lives a better one which in the end makes yours a step closer to your heavenly world... Wanna make your life a livable one? Make others' a good one first and you will be well-paid off.. It begins with you...

Little token

2010-06-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

There are so many ways to express your appreciation. I have been thought by my parents that I must not only receive freely. At the same time, I must do something in return. For example, when people give me a ride, at the very least, I shall treat the person over a simple meal or a drink or something. Or maybe, I pay for the fuel. The idea is not to tell everyone that I have a very thick pocket. It is simply an act to show people that I truly appreciate their help no matter how small or how big. I will always want to maintain this culture. And yea, a simple but thoughtful THANK YOU would always at its best in any circumstance too.

Seeing her again

2010-06-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

My heartfelt gratitude firstly goes to Sheela, Topeq and Robin for making this reunion possible once again. I am just soooooo at the right time to be able to see her again showcasing her beautiful God-gift voice and gracefully shaking her hips to the tune. I did not know that she would be in Kuching while I am here for a course until a dear friend of mine, Christopher Risandy told me that Dato' SITI NURHALIZA will be rocking tHe Spring for her SimplySiti Promotional Tour at 3pm today, 6th June.
The crowd was spectacular but the cheer was disappointing. Her flawless singing, (though she sang only 3 songs namely Rahsiaku Milikmu, Destinasi Cinta andKu Mahu) however was the only one thing that matters. I am truly, doubly, euphorically joyful that I got to see her again. All the best Dato' Siti.

Chemistry rules

2010-06-05T18:58:00.000+08:00

It is not about the money you spent. It is not about the distance you crawled on. It is not about the gallon of sweat. It is not about the time you dedicated for. It is all about chemistry. Nothing could defy its prevailing power. You can't make it happen if it is not there no matter what.......

Movies

2010-05-22T11:08:00.000+08:00

I watched Ip Man 2, Iron Man 2, Nightmare on the Elm Street and Robin Hood sometimes ago at King's Trioplex, Sibu. The cinemic experience was not really satisfying. Well, what should I expect? It is not GSC or MBO or the like..
Anyway, above all, I love Ip Man 2 the most. The message could be provocatively felt and it has successfully touched the soft spot in my heart. It is about respecting others no matter how superior, high-ranked, well-known or established you are. Each and everyone of us deserve a sense of respect no matter how poor, how infamous and how 'small' we are. Respect recognise no boundaries. If you invest even an ounce of respect on others, you would be surprised to realize the respect you may garner in return. Ip Man 2 portrays this apparent message so brilliantly.
Going out for a movie means enjoying a meal at McD too. It has always been a combo eversince I became a movie mania. It is a package or a combo or something.. It is a 2-in-1 kind of a thing. Hehehe.. Looking forward to watch more movies.. Wanna watch any movie at MBO, tHe Spring, Kuching when I am there for a pre-service course this coming June..

Ouch...

2010-05-17T22:13:00.000+08:00

How could I be writing on something unfavourable against somebody whom I respected highly? Making my heart audible this time is difficult.. What other avenue do I have? Whom else may I turn to? Diluah mati emak, ditelan mati bapak... I can only scream silently..

Endurance Test..

2010-05-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

The physical labour that I have been occupied with has finally shown its effect. I have been laboriously working all clock round. I am now experiencing muscle pain. Afraid that I might catch a cold as well.. But, seeing everything in place returns me my smile again. Maybe I am not fully adapted to this condition yet. Interestingly, I hardly lost even an ounce of fat.. Whatever..
By the way, I make it a commitment to go jogging again in the evening. I need to stay healthy because I have been consuming every fattening food freely. This evening was my second. A long way to go..

Cake

2010-04-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

This is an absolute obsession of mine. Moist cake especially. Err, in fact, I never like to take any other cake other than the moist cake. I like how it feels in my greedy mouth; its thickness, its gelatinous-rich feel and its creamy taste. Kek Belacan and the one in solid green (gosh, how could I forget the name???) have always been my personal favourite. So does cheesecake. Thankfully, Sibu is now so blessed with quite a number of high-quality bakeries that serve a reasonable varieties of fine cakes that matches my standard. Very recently, Secret Recipe has finally opened its most-awaited branch right here in Sibu. Even then, I am a loyal Farley Bakery, Bread Sense and We Care customer.

A letter from the heart…

2010-04-29T23:27:00.000+08:00

Dearest, dear..

This entry was written on April, 28^th on your 24^th birthday. Happy 24^th birthday. I would not spoil your birthday spirit. I would get this entry posted at any other time. Anyway, I was listening to few songs, one entitled “Tapi Bukan Aku” and the other was “Tercipta Untuku.” Typical me, huh?

I have been keeping mum for quite a while, I do notice that. But, this is not purposely done. You may say, “There you go again!”

Truthfully, I am still dealing with our ‘break-up.’ It may be easy for you but surprisingly, I have all but zero strength to live with this bitter fact that we are not meant to be together. People may laugh at me for agonizing this seemingly imaginary break-up. Was there even a true relationship ever forged between the two of us at the first place? Was there? Maybe our hearts which were unsuccessfully entwined have the righteous answer, the only answer worth listening to. People, just laugh if you feel like to, but you do not know a thing.

I have no one to talk to about this futile heart-merging. This is partly my own fault. In front of others, I may have unperturbedly claimed that letting you go was easy. I may have assertively said that leaving you was the simplest thing to do. I might have appeared very composed and unruffled voicing out that waving you goodbye was after all not a big deal. As a consequence, nobody accompanies me struggling in this drowning valley of tears. I have nobody by my side to share my heartbreak with.

When you walked away, all my dreams were crushed. Remember the day we visited WebPages on gorgeous wedding gown? Ever heard of the ringtone that I assigned you to? Remember how badly we wanted to prolong our private moment together? Owh… My dream to build a paradisiacal kingdom with the queen whom first captured my heart has turned into ashes. Could I afford to fall in love again when the other half of me is torn?

I have been constantly denying that I have never loved you. Wow, finally the BIG word. The truth however proclaims and spells just the otherwise. Even the blind could see and feel my overriding infatuation. As the world continuously treating me unjustly, accordingly, I pushed that feeling away. I pretended that you were just another girl-friend in front of others. It hurt me as much it hurt you. At times, we did not get to talk even when the urge was driving us crazy. Judging eyes were just so overpowering that we involuntarily and in fact, mechanically turned mute JUST because of the constant disapproval and criticism we took in hand. When you hugged me the other day, I wanted it to last for like forever… Sigh ~~~~~

Remember when you asked me, “Do you still love me like the very first time?” and I said, “No”? Remember when you said, “Kitak sik suka pujuk orang, oo?” Remember when I said that I hated it when I could not do what I wanted to with you? Remember when I said that you are JUST another chapter in my life? Only if you could really see… The last sms I received from you before you boarding your flight home however acts as a confirmation that I should reasonably reciprocate with an equally alike response too. You wrote, “We’re still friends, right?” Yea, we are” FRIEND” DOT

The best I could do right at this trying moment it to learn to acknowledge the fact that my life is not solely mine. It is not entirely yours either. I belong to lots of heart that I can’t afford to rip apart. That and that alone make this wounding sacrifice a necessity. Two hearts are easier to cater to, no? Only you and I know the difficulty that we are dealing with.

I promise you that this will be the last post ever written about us. I am so sorry if this entry brings you an unpleasant, distressing upshot. It is very much remorseful. Or, maybe it does not? Anyway, I hope, you still keep the hair clip that I bought you as the reminder o f my existence.

I am now officially letting you go. I am now aware that you are not the fairy-tale in my dream, that there is no you-and-me world anymore. After everything else, my wish is to see you blissfully happy with your loved ones, your king.

Goodbye, dear…

Truly,

Walter (I love listening to you calling my name)

Routine

2010-04-29T22:15:00.000+08:00

2 years in UKM. Sounds short, right? Not too short though to enjoy the lighthearted life of an undergrad or the illustrious, glamorous and carefree life of orang KL. After the struggle to adapt myself to that once alien environment, now, I have to re-adapt to another not-entirely-new environment which is so much easier.

The role-shift is quite demanding. Back then, I was really spoilt by the plentiful hassle-free hours. It did not matter if I woke up at 10 or 11 in the morning or even at 2 pm every so often. It did not matter if I slept at 2am or 5am. I have so much free times.

Here at home however, everything is poles apart. Everything is routine. I could no longer enjoy the comfort of frosty morning under my comforter. By 6.30 a.m. I am occupied with household chores. I need to mop the floor, clean up the dishes, do the laundry and drive my mum or my sister to work.

Later in the afternoon, if anyone comes back home for lunch, then I have to prepare the table and sponge down the dishes. Soon afterwards, I need to pick up the clothes, fold them and placed them neatly in their respective wardrobe.

Shortly afterward in the evening, I need to re-heat or sometimes prepare the food for dinner. Everything must be ready before 5.30pm since everyone is definitely hungry and tired after long hours at the office. Again, the kitchen routine would be repeating itself. I need to wash the dishes and get the kitchen sparkling and possibly leave it spanking new. While I enjoy playing with water and bubble to get everything in the kitchen unsullied, I turn the washing machine on. By the time the laundry is done, I am also done with the kitchen clean-up.

However, I am far from complete. I have to hang all the laundry outside. I would also need to press my parents’ working apparel. Only then, I could spend quite a generous hour for myself. It is already 8 at night. Sometimes, if my mum works for the afternoon shift, I would have to pick her up at 9pm. If my father has to return to his workplace for overtime, I have to drive him over.

This explains why it is rare to see me available on Facebook or on the net. After a joyful hours playing with my nieces and an eventful get-together with the rest of my family member over a light set of snack. Only then, I’ll hit the shower. But before that, habitually, I’ll turn on the air-conditioner first in my room. When I re-enter my bedroom from the bathroom, I feel so welcomed by the freezing sensation that will freshen me up after all the hard labour. Ceh.. Hehehe... Then, I grab a novel, or maybe watch a movie or listen to the music from my laptop or my mp3/4 player. By 11 or the latest 12pm, I am already soundly asleep.

Though some might be chickened out to swap places with me to get a taste of my purported hectic life, I do have an ample time to dine outside, to go to the cinema, to watch TV, to take a nap, to do some workout or even to go out shopping. Life is so good I can’t complain so far.

-THE END-

Apasal plak?

2010-04-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

“Kat maner?” “Saye tak tau aah..” “U takde ke mase tue?” “Ape dier?” “Siape?”Hahahaha.. I somehow miss listening to people speaking in this dialect. It has been nearly 2 weeks since I left UKM. My eardrums are so used to “mane,” “saye,” “ape dier”and“yer” already that I found myself laughing when I listen to my own language or local dialect being spoken. English is hardly heard other than from the radio that I am listening to and the movies or few English Channels that I am watching. Fortunate enough, we are also subscribed to the local English newspapers. At least, I am not completely detached from the second language that I was studying intensively for the past 6 years. While English is not so frequently spoken within my house compound, I am also grateful that the passion to continue blogging in English is not fading. Otherwise, I have no other avenue to practice my second language.

Abundant love

2010-04-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

This is a compilation of some of the heartwarming wishes I received. I am not intended to show off that I am so much loved or anything. I am compiling this just to express my heartfelt gratitude towards those who all this while have been a part, an important piece of my life. This is a tribute to all of you who love me generously. Thank you… Thank you so much… Thank you for the genuine friendship. Thank you for the abundant love.

“Hi, Walter. I’ll still be in *** working as ***. I will miss you. I am sure I will. The only regret is, I knew you a little too late. “ (Wish I have known you earlier too. Who knows if we could work on something? Wink2)

My dearest friend, Walter. Kitak tauk sik kamek sayang kitak. Thanks for being a good friend all this while. I will always remember you. Take good care of yourself, k especially your heart. (I sayang you as much too!!)

Every word is true. It has been my greatest pleasure to know you. Love you lots. (Owh, I have only one heart to spare.. Sorry and thank you, from the bottom of my heart)

I left your birthday card at home. So, I just wrote this simple card 4 u. Ko lah yang paham aku dari jauh and I am glad that we are friends. And you better stay as my friend or else, I gonna smack you. (Smack down, huh? Hehe)

Best wishes from Class 4G. We hope you will remember all of us forever (It was my last day in Chung Hua and my ex-classmates held a surprise farewell party for me. The school principal was also there!!! How am I not touched?)

I can feel what you feel. I want to make you happy because seeing you smiling makes me happy too. (Unreturned love, so so sorry)

Dear nak cerita sikit nie. Something yang boleh buat Walter terharu. Saya dah bersedia terima kenyataan yang saya tak sempat jumpa Walter for the last time sebab dah lambat sangat balik. Betul nie, tak tipu. Tup.. tup.. sempat jumpa Walter depan pintu pagar. Waktu Dear peluk Walter, rasa sedih sangat. Entah bila dpt jumpa lagi, kan? (Gosh, was it a crush or lo….)

Dear, Brother Walter. I have nothing else to say in this special later. I just wanna say, I love you so much. (Owh, XOXO)

Love you very much!!!!! Walter(her name), Walter(her name), Walter(her name), Walter(her name) X 100… (She is trying her best and guess what, I still receive a call from her from time to time which last for nearly half an hour per call. I told her that I am engaged but she is trying her luck, still. Sorry, gal)

You are the best Senior that I have ever found!!!! (Really?? And u noe wut? U r one of my best juniors too)

I have made it public that I have never been in any lovey-dovey relationship. It is technically true. I feel bad that I have to let this bunch of high-spirited young lady to be a victim of unrequited love. I have turned almost every opportunity down. Maybe not now. I am not ready yet. Ironically, I do at times find being single is depressing. Hmmmm…